Jesse: BEST WORST PICK OF LAST WEEK:“Clint took the Rams in an upset special, so I’ll take the other team from Missoura in this one.  The Mighty Quinn will prevail!” - Tom (Raiders 26, Kansas City 16)

“The Mighty Quinn”? Oh my.

The Dallas Cowboys lost another heartbreaker on Sunday, clawing back from 23 down against the Giants before blowing it in the end. Like most Cowboys games, it was exciting and excruciating in equal measure. The Cowboys have perfected a style of play over the last few years that I would describe as “Charismatically Mediocre”, with moments of excitement undercut by their own ineptitude when it matters most. They’re the football version of a Len Wiseman movie, and Tony Romo is Kate Beckinsale minus all the leather. Whether it’s a Romo interception at the worst possible time, a horrible clock management decision from coach Jason “How Does Time Work?” Garrett or a brainfart from Dez Bryant, the Cowboys will always find a way to screw themselves. On the bright side, at least they’ve got a really big TV.

Hitpoints

  • Bryant McKinnie sued for owing a strip club a $375,000 tab. Bravo, Bryant…Bravo. (Baltimore Sun)
  • Michael Vick to remain as Eagles’ starter. Are you sure about that, Andy? (Philly.com)
  • Bill Barnwell looks at the undefeated Atlanta Falcons. (Grantland)
  • So why did the Steelers look like giant bumblebees last Sunday? Uni Watch takes a look. (Uni Watch)
  • Former NFL player Cedrick Wilson indicted in a subsitute teacher test-taking scandal. Huh? (Bloguin)

Thursday, Nov. 1
Kansas City Chiefs(1-6) at San Diego Chargers(3-4)
Tom: Happy Halloween!  You want to see something really scary?  Try taking a look at the Kansas City Chiefs this year.  They beat the Saints somehow, but continue to stink it up and find new and exciting ways to lose games.  But then there’s the Chargers–who knew someone with the name “Rivers” would be so adverse to playing in a little mud?  More talent in San Diego than in KC, though…as long as Norv doesn’t figure out a way to screw it up.
Chargers
Clint: Happy Halloween is right!.  Holy war of the untalented teams.  I am picking the Chargers on my suicide pool this week because they have to be embarrassed by losing to one of the worst teams in the NFL last week (though I think the Browns are much better than their record).  I can’t see them losing to a second bad team in a row, even though Norv is involved.
Chargers

Sunday, Nov. 4
Denver Broncos(4-3) at Cincinnati Bengals(3-4)
Clint:
The Bengals are coming off a much needed bye week and the Broncos are living large after defating the Saints Sunday night.  Look for the 2nd year offensive duo at the Bungles to struggle against a D that held the mighty Saints offense to only two TDs.
Denver
Tom:
The Broncos are beginning to gel, and when Manning gets them a lead, that defense is all over the other team.  With all the hype of Arizona’s downfall, everyone forgets the Bengals at one point looked to be possibly the best team in the AFC North, but have now lost 3 in a row, and those 3 were games they probably should have won.  Will a mini-collapse this year be enough to get Marvin Lewis fired?  Let’s wait and see, shall we?
Broncos

Baltimore Ravens(5-2) at Cleveland Browns(2-6)
Tom: You want balls, Clint?  The Cleveland “May Art Modell Rot in Hell” Browns.  How’s that? *drops mike, walks away*
Browns
Clint: Just like every year, the Browns hate the Ravens.  Though this year has the Ravens flying with a broken wing.  I don’t believe the Browns can actually get very far this year, but I do think the crowd is going to be pumped up and Baltimore’s Defense is still looking for a fix.  I’ll take the Browns again, why not?
Browns

Buffalo Bills(3-4) at Houston Texans(6-1)
Clint:
Really?  Do I need to explain why I am picking the Texans?  If I do, than you really need to pay attention to scores a little more.
Texans
Tom:
Every time I put team _____ by a million, they end up making it interesting.
Texans by a gazillion

Miami Dolphins(4-3) at Indianapolis Colts(4-3)
Tom: The Dolphins…are on a roll?  Even though they lost Tannehill last week, Fleed’s beloved Miami team still rolled it up on the rudderless J-E-T-S.  Will they be even Moore successful with Matt in at QB until Ryan is healthy?  Hmm…I think there’s enough other talent to win.  Indy is at home, but had what was just short of a miracle play to win last week (his head hit the pylon?  Wow.)  Even though Tannehill is out, I’ll continue to ride the ‘phins flippers.
Dolphins
Clint: I have been going back and forth on both these teams, and often on the losing end (kind of like Tom last week), but I’m going to disagree with Tom this time.  Luck has been improving after the inevitable learning curve that most rookies face, and I see him carrying the team on his back in this game, though it will be close.
Colts

Carolina Panthers(1-6) at Washington Redskins(3-5)
Clint:
The panthers can’t find a break.  They came so close last week to knocking off the Bears.  I really see them breaking their streak sometime soon, but I am going to side with Shanahan getting his team out of their rut first.
Redskins
Tom:
The Panthers and the Cowboys seem to be the best crappy teams in the NFL.  I do think this will be interesting as it pits this year’s golden rookie QB vs. last year’s golden rookie QB.  RGIII has his head on straight (at least this year) while Cam Newton is slowly losing his mind…up in here, up in here.
Redskins

Arizona Cardinals(4-4) at Green Bay Packers(5-3)
Tom: Although they couldn’t pull away from the Jags last week, the Packers have been improving every week, and Rodgers is starting to gel with his new WRs and the Oline is playing better.  Arizona is in a freefall right now, and I don’t see it stopping this week.  And I kind of hate it, mainly because I think Larry Fitzgerald is such a great person and a player…he deserves better.  Could you imagine if Manning had come to Arizona? He and Fitz hooking up?  Hold on, I just about passed out.
Packers
Clint: If I went to Arizona I could put up just as good as numbers throwing to Fitz as either Kolb or Skelton, and I can’t even throw a good spiral.  Let’s face it, Arizona has one hell of a defense but almost purposely has chosen to keep their team unhinged at one of the most important roles, and let’s not even talk about the lack of RBs.  Screw their GM for ruining what could have easily have been one of the greatest WRs of all time.  I hope the Packers win by a million and get the Cards closer to a quality draft pick.
Packers

Detroit Lions(3-4) at Jacksonville Jaguars(1-6)
Clint:
Two teams in the proverbial shitter.  The Lions sqeaked out a much needed win last week and the Jags gave the Packers a headache. The Jags will continue to struggle without MJD, but the Lions don’t have that excuse.  They just continue to struggle.  I have a really hard time doing this, but I am going to favor a harder edged Defense in light of the team that can only win at the last second.  Either way it will be close in a game that doesn’t matter (neither of these teams appears to be playoff bound).
Jaguars
Tom:
The Detroit Lions.  A study in WTF.  So much talent on both sides of the ball, but can’t seem to start playing until the last 5 minutes of the game.  The Jags defense is making up for the offensive ineptitude, but Gabbert is looking better, and is toughing it out through a torn labrum.  They gave the Pack all they could handle last week–was that an anomaly?  I’d normally hedge my bet towards them, but wouldn’t doubt if they led the whole game only to watch Detroit win it in the last minute.  So I’ll be the Frank Gorshin to Clint’s Lou Antonio (or the Bele to his Lokai, if you prefer) and let the Schwartz be with me.
Lions

Chicago Bears(6-1) at Tennessee Titans(3-5)
Tom: So, the mighty Bears almost pissed away the closest thing to a sure win last week and had to come back to beat the “Who’s Fault Is It Anyway?” Panthers.  Will they make the same mistake and overlook Tennessee this week?  Not bloodly likely.
Bears
Clint:  I want to pick against Tom just to give us a little more separation, but I just picked the Jags, and I see no way possible the Titans win this game.
Bears

Minnesota Vikings(5-3) at Seattle Seahawks(4-4)
Clint:
Oh where oh where have the Vikings gone?  Not home, or they would have won last week.  I even used some of Tom’s logic on that, but we see how his picks went last week, so I won’t do that again.  I don’t believe the Seahawks are as good as a lot of people do, but I do think that the Vikings are sliding down a slippery slope to a point of lackluster at best.  I have to side with the home team just because vikings look to be lost at sea.
Seahawks
Tom:
How dare the Vikings lose at home and destroy my system.  Well, I’ll try another one–the Seahawks are pretty freaking good at home, in one of, if not the, loudest stadium in the NFL.  Russell Wilson is coming along and maturing nicely.  Christian Ponder HAS to play better if the Vikings are going to continue to make noise this year…just cutting down on the turnovers would be a big plus.  But I believe even with that, the 12th man (sorry TAMU) will win out on this one.
Seahawks

Tampa Bay Buccaneers(3-4) at Oakland Raiders(3-4)
Tom: Who are the Bucs?  Are they the team that stood toe to toe with the Giants and whipped the Vikings in their house last week?  Or are they the team that looked pitiful against the Cowboys and Saints?  They have to travel to Oakland, but have had more than a week off since the Thursday night game.  The Raiders feasted on a KC team that is, well, scary, but haven’t had much success otherwise this season.  For some reason their OC hasn’t figured out that Darren McFadden is a guy you just keep feeding the ball to.  And vs. the best run defense in the NFC, that probably won’t change this week either.
Bucs
Clint: The Raiders are another team that the management just seems to shit on.  It would be amazing if the managers loved this team nearly one tenth as much as the fans.  The Bucs don’t have that storied history and don’t have a large set of nationwide fans, but they do have a defense.  After the havoc they wreaked on the Vikings last week, I have to take them.
Bucs

Pittsburgh Steelers(4-3) at New York  Giants(6-2)
Clint:
I have been predicting the Giants to tank one for awhile.  They are red hot currently and look to be on a solid road to the playoffs, but the Steelers love to beat teams on their upswings, particularly teams that don’t appear beatable.  Year after year they have knocked off undefeated teams late into the season, even in some of the non-playoff seasons.  I see the same this week.  Especially with a wounded Baltimore putting playoffs back into the Pittsburgh picture.  Tom, do your job and pick against your team, because that always helps.
Steelers
Tom:
Dammit.  This better be working the way it has been.
Giants

Dallas Cowboys(3-4) at Atlanta Falcons(7-0)
Tom: Cowboys fans have to be beside themselves with this season.  When will Jerry Jones the owner fire Jerry Jones the GM?  Does the name “Al Davis” mean anything to you?  The Falcons just keep winning games, but no one will consider them a legit Super Bowl contender until they win a playoff game.  Speaking of Al, Atl’s motto this week will be “Just win, baby.”
Falcons
Clint: The Cowboys are really starting to fall apart this year, before their normally scheduled December implosion.  Look for them to continue with the desire to be mediocre.  It’s unfortunate that half the populace of Atlanta doesn’t care about Pro football, as that leaves everybody picking on the few true (defensive) fans that are left.  This will be a game of loud Cowboys fans becoming deflated and the Falcons team still not being recognized for being undefeated.
Falcons

Monday, Nov. 5
Philadelphia Eagles(3-4) at New Orleans Saints(2-5)
Clint:
The Saints play one of the only teams that can make their defense look good.  Vick may not have turned the ball over last week, but their is a very good chance he may turn over his starting position this week.  Once again, like someone asking to be bull whipped, I pick the Saints.
Saints
Tom:
It’s my weekly opportunity to pick on the Saints!  Actually, Philly is another Detroit/Dallas/Panthers-like team (why are all these teams in the NFC?)…lots of talent, but it just hasn’t come together.  Atlanta’s defense stymied them last week, and while New Orleans doesn’t have 1/100th of the Falcons defense, they do have Brees and that offense.  I expect this to possibly turn into a shoot out (which folks on MNF would love).  And the Saints go marching in at home.
New Orleans

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