What follows is a real email. It’s circulating between the high-ups behind the Grammys and, I assume, producers and crew. It’s not particularly movie-related or important, but just so you have an idea how executives think about TV standards and obscenity, it’s worth the chuckle. The paragraph that follows is the body text of an email that the awful, awful Nikke Finke got a hold of at Deadline. It’s too funny to pass up though.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
First of all, I’m wondering how long it took the person who wrote this to clean up their keyboard afterward. “Avoid exposing bare…. mmm…. fleshy…. mmm….. under curves of buttocks and buttocks… ohhhh…. crack.” Etc. etc. etc.
Also, what the hell does “no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure” mean in regards to the “genital region?” Unless they’re excepting P. Diddy to waltz in to the room in crotchless chaps or something, I can’t even wrap my mind around what that means.
That started my day off with a laugh, hope it does the same for you.