2_15_soloAnd the gears of the machine keep turning.

The scoopalicious El Mayimbe over at Latino Review is reporting a bit of Star Wars news that, while not surprising, is Star Wars news. According to Maybimbe, Harrison Ford is now a done deal to reprise Han Solo in Episode VII. 

I’m of two minds on this. On one hand, it’s pretty cool as an OT fan to know we’re going to catch up with these characters again on film. Make no mistake, Disney is talking to Mark Hamill and Carrie Fischer (Princess Leia is now a Disney princess, mindscrew). But the “passing of the torch” saga I suspect Disney has in mind here, one where Han and Leia’s kids are positioned as our next heroes, is a dicey prospect. It’s why we don’t have a Mutt Williams & The Crusade for the Perfect Comb and why we most definitely will never see a Jack McClane-centered Die Hard (never). Just because we care about characters doesn’t mean we’ll give a shit about their kids or extended family. If anything, these kids of great characters end up in the position their in only through miracle of birth.

Any excitement I have over another jaunt in the Falcon is tempered by the fact that Harrison Ford, and by extension Han Solo, is a very old man now. In a limited supporting role I can see Han being a great asset (think Robert Duvall in Jack Reacher), but what I truly don’t want, and what I hope Disney realizes fans can do without, is a Star Wars movie where characters sort out familial issues while saving the galaxy. That didn’t work with Crystal Skull and it won’t work here.

It’s simple: text crawl, lasers go into the stormtroopers, lasers come out of the stormtroopers, lightsaber battle, cut to Falcon, back to lightsabers, everybody wins, credits.

There, I just wrote Episode VII. Give me some of that sweet Epcot Center money, Disney.