Around the last week of March, a bunch of places were posting about a Far Cry 3 expansion that would’ve been right at home on a local video store’s shelves back in 1987, with the cover art to the right and all it entails. I didn’t run it, because we all know how the internet gets around April 1st. Funny enough, though, as one of the 8 people on the planet who didn’t care much for Far Cry 3, I thought it’d be one of the few ways Ubi could get me to circle back around to that game.
But April Fools Day is over. And shit just got real.
While UbiSoft has been eerily silent about Blood Dragon since the box art hit, today, there’s scraps of info from all around the internet hinting that Blood Dragon is not only real, but more awesome than we could possibly have imagined. The strongest proof is that the game is listed on XBox.com, with a synopsis and the first few screenshots. Hopefully, you’re sitting down.
“Far Cry® 3 Blood Dragon is THE Kick-Ass Cyber Shooter taking place on a bizarre open-world island crawling with evil. Welcome to an 80’s VHS vision of the future. The year is 2007 and you are Sargent Rex Colt, a Mark IV Cyber Commando who’s fighting against a cyborg army gone rogue. Your mission: get the girl, kill the baddies, and save the world. Experience every cliché of a VHS era vision of a nuclear future, where cyborgs, blood dragons, mutants, and Michael Biehn (Terminator, Aliens, Navy Seals) collide.“
On top of the synopsis, a list of Achievements has been floating out there a couple of weeks now, a website has been discovered, which hilariously hearkens back to the terrible Geocities pages of a bygone age, and there’s the Soundcloud page for an Australian artist named Powerglove who has three tracks posted that appear to be from the game’s score, which is everything you might imagine from that synopsis, and gloriously so. If this is all just part of a month long troll, UbiSoft’s commitment to the joke is worthy of applause. But it’s doubtful. This thing is real. That box art is real. The Michael Biehn is real.
UPDATE: And now, the hilariously 80s trailer is real.
Wait, what was that? You didn’t like Far Cry 3 either, and wish you didn’t have to buy it to play this? My bad, I think I left off the best part of the synopsis: Blood Dragon is apparently an Arcade title, and doesn’t require the original game. The game is listed on XBox.com with a release date of May 1st. Prepare yourselves.