Comedy: My friend had a massive dump in his pants he was carrying around for six holes on the golf course, until he finally found a bathroom and brought Heimdall’s Thunder down. Watching him running joyfully back from the restroom was high comedy.
Food/Drink/Inhalents: Enjoyed a St. Luis Rey Serie G on the course and tasted a Lemon/Tangerine/Banana hookah at the shop beforehand. On the course I fully hated every sip of Yuengling and Amstel Light I had. Myers and Diet Coke saved the day. The food today was balls. I remembered to take my meds.
Family: Made pancakes for my unappreciative little jerk today. Saw the wife and the mom briefly.
Friends: Saw Andrea at the shop wearing shoes that make me Dinklage next to her. Played golf with some good gents.
Work: Not as much as I wanted. Spent a lot of time driving today, no golf pun intended.
Goodies: No, but I wanted to grab that new Rolling Stone with Louis CK on the cover.
Projects: The pressing one is for an upcoming movie. Comprehensive stuff.
Minutia: People who shout “get in the hole!” on TV during golf tournaments should be put in a hole.
Activity: A round of golf with friends. Weather was nice. It was free. Not a lot to hate there. I shot a 92, but the back nine was delightful. We play from the blue tees and I managed to eke out two nice birdies to save my team and the round for me.
Ailments: I was goofing around with the flag on the second to last hole and whacked my shin and it created an Instantknot. It hurt like Leon Rippy and is going to look twice as bad.
Shrink’s Chair: Listening to the Columbine audiobook with all the new(ish) facts about the psychopath Eric Harris and how extensive his nightmarish wishes were makes me wonder how I’d react if my kid did something like him. Probably outrage, remorse, and then a drive off a cliff. We need as a society to isolate the traits and warning signs of young folks who have the capacity to murder and lock them away. Scary as hell.
Asshole(s) of the Day: What in God’s galloping unshaven bush is the world coming to? A kid shot his parents because they asked him to do his chores? He was trying to find a Bible verse to “save” his friend and when asked to do a chore got up and shot his parents. Jesus Wept.
True Trivia: I can hit a golf ball 350 yards. Sometimes straight!
What Did I Learn Today: The Tilted Kilt waitresses are treated like strippers. They have to be walked to their car. That’s an issue? Are lecherous patrons waiting outside with dicks a’poppin?
Link of the Day: Now You See Me Trailer. It’s tempting to get excited for this.
Wasted Domain of the Day: Puss.org. It’s a damn marketing survey bullshit dogshit asshole.
Looking ahead to tomorrow: Braves day game, work, and then I man the bar.