April 18

Note: Doing this every day will be nigh impossible. I may skip a day or two for health reasons or because if I spend a whole day masturbating to Batteries Not Included, it’s really my business and my business alone. Also, tree rape is funny.

Film/TV: The last two episodes of Homeland made my brain hurt. Pain and Gain is decent but not all too revelatory about Michael Bay’s growth as a filmmaker. He seems to be doing a serious Tony Scott impersonation at times. There are a few fun satirical elements where he has the actors parodying their image a little, which is fun. Overall, super forgettable aside from Dwayne Johnson. He’s fantastic.

Music: No. Whenever I’m in my car it’s either the Columbine audiobook or MLB Radio.

Comedy: Justin and I recorded a car podcast, which as you know is comedy gold.

Food/Drink/Inhalents: Justin and I ate like meercats hauling ass through some sandwiches and garlic fries before the movie. Neither wanted to leave. If we had our way we’d still be eating.

Family: Yesterday was Rocco/Daddy day so we explored and played and ran around and had fun. Then we both hit a brick wall and were sick of each other.

Friends: Andrea met me and the small for lunch. Justin accompanied me to the screening. Rupert Friend is on Homeland.

Work: Hardly. Day was packed from birth to death and when I got home with big aspirations on writing my stomach said “try this on for size” as it turned and stressgurgled.

Art: The CHUD Podcast is not unlike a Michaelangelo.

Goodies: Poop.

Screenwriting: Poop.

Projects: A bit. This weekend is crucial work time. I also got wind of a freelance photography opportunity that seems like a ton of work for little reward. Sounds like everything else I agree to do, so…

Minutia: I resigned from the movie screening business so it was nice to see CHUD MB original and now Collider.com writer Matt Goldberg taking the reins of the gig.

Activity: A little frolicking with the kiddo on a softball field but really not much at all.

Ailments: Tummy.

Shrink’s Chair: My life has changed so much in the past few years. What excites me has shrunken. What I consider vital to survive has shrunken. I can totally see why people accept things and lessen their definition of necessary as they grow older.

Asshole(s) of the Day: The guy at the theater telling people to “SHHHHHHH” during the pre-show Regal Cinemas rollercoaster CGI sequence.

True Trivia: I’ve never done an illegal substance in my life.

What Did I Learn Today: Cars have a thing called “puddle lights” so your dainty feet don’t get wet as you approach your car.

Link of the Day: PUKINGONACHILD.COM is totally available!

Fun CHUD link of the day: The Hellp.

Wasted Domain of the Day: JesusHChrist.com. It’s a poster shop. GOD DAMN IT!

Looking ahead to tomorrow: Braves game on TV. Steve visits. A lot of writing. I use a Groupon my wife got to take my daughter and myself ice skating for the first time in both our lives.

The Day’s Rating:


Out of a Possible 5 Stars

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