All we need are some simple answers to some simple questions. Literally, that could be it, and Sony will walk away smelling like daisies. Will that happen? probably not. But let’s watch it happen together anyway.
8:10–“Consumer ownership and consumer trust are central to everything we do.” NOW I’m sad I’m not there. I want to give Jack Tretton a hug.
8:09–$399 for PS4. THE WAR IS FUCKING OVER.
8:07–Now talking about the cloud.
8:03–The new Bungie game is boring. The new Battlefield game looks spectacular. NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.
8:00–Wow. This actually looks really, really BORING.
7:58–“Oh, I do like the long rifle. Whats its name?” “Shut Up And Get Behind Me”…..yeah, not touching that.
7:56–Enemies kinda look how the Prometheans in Halo 4 should have.
7:54–Slow. But atmospheric enough.
7:48–Destiny is about to happen.
7:46–Free Drive Club at launch for PS+ members.
7:45–PS+ memberships will carry over to PS4.
7:45–No check ins. Just plunging the knife deeper in Microsoft’s heart right there.
7:44–NO ONLINE CONNECTION NEEDED.
7:43–NO DRM ON PS4.
7:43–Jack Tretton back.
7:41–Shit. A Mad Max game is happening. By the Just Cause folks.
7:39–World premiere exclusive.
7:38–I am alone in my apathy for this series. But it looks like a good example of its genre. Exclusive beta for PS3.
7:37–Elder Scrolls Online. Is that Michael Gambon narrating?
7:36–“Innocuous Sports Reference, amirite? amirite?”
7:35–Somehow he segued from DLC to sports games. I don’t even know how he pulled that off.
7:34–Exclusive DLC for PS3.
7:30–More Watch Dogs. Microsoft truly missed the boat on Smartglass integration on this.
7:28–EVERYONE’S TECHNOLOGY SUCKS TODAY.
7:27–Still don’t know how we got to this place where the best thing about Assassin’s Creed is the SEA BATTLES.
7:26–My main problem with all this: It’s kinda like an inverse Knight Boat situation. This whole game is going to be trying to find excuses for getting a seabound pirate back on land to be an Assassin.
7:23–Oh hey, there’s more to do on benches other than look like a mopey prick, awesome.
7:21–More Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag. God, I WANT to be excited about this.
7:20–FFXIV going to PS3 and PS4. Doesn’t everyone hate that one, though? Even the ones who didn’t check out after XI?
7:19–Oh. It’s….just Kingdom Hearts III. That’s almost kinda disappointing.
7:18–Kingdom Hearts. BRING ON THE NEW RIDICULOUS TITLE.
7:17–I have no idea whats going on right now.
7:15–Ah, my stream fell behind, so it skipped. Final Fantasy Vs XIII? I thought you were dead! (“….nope!”)
7:09–Supergiant Games. The Bastion folks. I’m listening.
7:07–Actually, no. Wizard pulled a Trevor Slattery.
7:07–This reminds me: Hey, EA? Any time you wanna bring back The Immortal, that’d be fine..
7:05–A new Quantic Dream game and Beyond isn’t even out yet. The Dark Sorcerer.
7:03–All of those were launch titles, except Infamous.
7:03–Knack. That showed us nothing.
7:02–Whoever is covering Heart Shaped Box: STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN.
7:00–Infamous: Second Son. If someone gave someone at The CW enough money, I’m almost certain this would be the result.
6:58–New Killzone. Same old Don’t Give A Fuck.
6:57–The Order. It looks like zombies. Please don’t be zombies. It’s the only mark against that trailer.
6:56–Opened with French philosophy. Now fog, blood, and atmosphere on the streets of London. Gentlemen, you had my curiosity…..
6:55–Ugh, what other Facebook shit did they introdu–what…is this now?
6:52–The Social Media section approaches. BRB, gonna go get a sandwich. God, this IS better than being in the audience.
6:51–Credit a fellow Chewer for this, but my God, everyone in Sony brass is a Bond villain.
6:47–Video Unlimited now. Redbox Instant going to PS3. The same amount of nothing available on 360 can now be streamed on PS3.
6:42–Sony Pictures CEO, going on about original content deal for PS4. Stop trying to get your stealth cable network in my game system, industry.
6:41–Remember that line in Sin City where Marv laments that every modern car looks like an electric shaver? Swap cars and shavers for next gen systems and 1985 Magnavox VHS players.
6:40–ITS A RHOMBUS.
6:39–PS4 product design. Here we go.
6:38–GTA V bundle when the game launches. With headphones.
6:36–Batman Arkham Origins. Nope, still doesn’t look on par with the other two. What the fuck is that Batsuit on the left? What did we tell you about leaving art department doors open when Square Enix people are around?
6:32–Gran Turismo 6. Enjoy, car porn enthusiasts.
6:30–Beyond Two Souls. Tiny Ellen Page as a soldier is SO jarring.
6:29–I have no idea what Rain is, but I know I WANT IT NOW. Looks BEAUTIFUL.
6:28–Puppeteer. YAY NEW IPS
6:27–The Last Of Us. This will be waiting for me when I get back from LA. This does not make the wait easier.
6:25–Walking Dead: 400 Days. Coming this summer. That and Season 1 going to Vita as well.
6:24–Batman Arkham Origins. God of War 1 and 2. Final Fantasy X and X2. Flower. Dead Nation. All going to Vita. Nice.
6:24–This is the speech that should’ve happened last year, dude.
6:23–Vita stuff. I’m willing to be impressed, Jack.
6:21–So, the 40 folks who got in to the conference? They’ve been there since FRIDAY. Changed my mind. I’m glad I’m not there. Conference is already in LA, I’ve smelled enough sour urine this week.
6:20–Jack Tretton. I always wonder if these higher ups pick their own theme music.
6:17–Today is NOT technology’s finest hour.
6:13–….I’m not imagining that this thing hasn’t started yet, am I?