I take photos of dumb shit. Some of you do too (submit yours HERE). Life’s too short and there’s too many dumb things out there to allow it going unnoticed or people not getting called out for it. This is where I shine a light at fools, loons, hypocrites, and in many instances my own dumb self. If you dig this, please share it on FB and Twitter (links right above this) or participate in our message board thread devoted to it.
1. Put punctuation in its place.
This makes me want to litter. Apparently the proceeds from this campaign aren’t going towards education. You litter with the language then I litter with my stained Starbucks cup lid. You notice that these lids do everything but prevent coffee from flying out in stainbursts? Oh yeah, litter. Littering sucks. So does our dumb lack of concern over our abundance of dumb.
2. Known for Cuba. Known for Bullets. Known for Seeds?
First of all, Kennedy got shot away. It was in the news. He had boring hair and then he had murder. He was a neat dude who banged everyone, including his wife. He was an icon. Then he was the catalyst for people named Kennedy having bad deaths. Or people affiliated with Kennedy names having bad deaths in water. He was a great man but he lost the fight with bullets. We have dwelt on his departure with a very odd fascination, myself included. The anniversary of his defeat has been extremely gratuitous, and in truth the next time we should spend a lot of time on the man is when the actual truth is revealed. This endcap display is an example of our dumb curiosity, but the bottom right corner… is frankly amazing.
3. The Department of Transportation HARD AT WORK.
Traffic was held up because the world was being improved, right? No, this ugnaught was just sitting there. Usually there’s three guys watching one guy work but on this night it was just one guy holding a machine up with his ass. Gun control. Abortion. Health care. They’re issues to be sure but the government really needs to light a fire under the ass of the DOT. I mean literally. They need to have their entire buttocks charred to oblivion.
4. You’re bragging about this?
This ass is proud that he’s not on his phone sexting instead of observing important traffic laws. But his plan has backfired because I’m about to jump onto his roof and start fucking shit up and who is he going to call for help? NO ONE.
His next cellular conversation will be with the Charon and the reception is awful in the Underworld.
5. Publix: Your spot for value, conservative hours, and MASS SLAUGHTER!
There are ZERO magazines about shaking hands and hugging. There are thousands about weapons whose entire job is built around creating holes in meat. Go to a grocery store in the South and you will be amazed how many trees are pulverized so people can get engorged while seeing how fast the latest piece of murderware can put a hole through a yellow individual. Or a delightful deer. There should be some law that establishes a required balance of magazines devoted to hatred and those devoted to love. Or indifference.
6. Ace Attorney?
This was at my gym, and I’m pretty confident one of the steroidmen in charge isn’t named after a Nintendo cartridge.
7. This is not an official crossover with the Crisis on Infinite Earths.
I took this photo long before Mr. Mandela got his pink slip from Earth so don’t get all defensive. I don’t really get comic books devoted to Nelson Mandela. He didn’t have enough costume changes and his origin story has only been rebooted a few times. Plus, his time with the West Coast Avengers was dreadful. Especially at the expense of Tigra. At least it’s the “authorized” version. Those Mandela knockoff comics suck.
8. One of my hobbies finally got its own store.
Imagine going to a place to pay a nominal fee to swing your feet at children. That’s a business loan approval worth getting behind.
9. Use your individual free will to not buy this.
You know a book is worth getting when it sells the concept of existentialism as a clown fish liberating itself into a room with a poster of water.
10. The opening act for Fine Young Cannibals.
So much for my porn name. Motherfuckers.
By the way: