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RATED Not Rated
STUDIO David Sterling
RUNNING TIME 85 long minutes
- Still not anything
“Halloween, but filmed in broad daylight. Also, in the woods. Also, no tension.”
Ken Van Sant, Cindy Wheeler, Jeff Kirkendall
Six students are given an assignment in their Urban Legends class to investigate the Camp Blood murders. In order to pass, the students set up camp at Camp Blood and begin filming. What they didn’t expect was a seventh camper…
Alright, so, at some point, there was a ghost. And the ghost was some wronged Hollywood producer from the 1970s. He had written some spec script that was no good and studio heads kept turning him away. Eventually, the wronged producer became a severe alcoholic and, instead of blaming his own incompetence on why he couldn’t make his movie, turned his aggression to the Hollywood system. One day, he showed up at some studio, vowing he wouldn’t leave until he got his movie made. He became belligerent and violent at the security guarding the front gate. One thing led to another and BOOM, bullet through the head. But he wasn’t dead. No, his spirit was still wandering the Earth, vowing to get this movie made, even from beyoooond the graaave.
That’s the only explanation as to why Camp Blood First Slaughter, a.k.a. Camp Blood 3 (no joke, that’s the whole title) would have been made. Someone got visited by the wronged Hollywood producer in the night and was forced to make this garbage.
Camp Blood 3 is riddled with every single cliché that makes a horror film. First ten minutes of the film have some unrelated kill. Then, young pot-smoking students are tasked with investigating the killer. Then they get challenged one by one by a masked killer. The twist here, though, is that EVERYONE HAS A CAMERA.
The sheer delight of this film lies in its ineptitude. Two thirds of this film is shot amateurishly, but still using the language of cinema (and I shudder to use that here). You know, tripod shots, crane shot…things that are in movies. Then, two thirds of the way in, [SPOILERS] (highlight to read) you see a very quick montage of all of the students getting killed. No explanation, no build up, just a quick, 90’s MTV-ish montage of these kids getting killed. [END SPOILERS] Cut to black.
Here’s where it gets fantastic. The last third part of the film is set up in the guise of a news report. I kid you not, a terrible voice over comes on and explains that News 2 will be broadcasting unedited footage in order to try and find the killer. So the tension has been completely sucked out and, in its stead, is some explanation as to why the camerawork in the last third of the movie is so absolutely horrendous. And it has to be a post-production decision because we never cut to an actual news set, we only see photos of people asking for the footage to be shown, and I literally laughed out loud.
This is a Z-grade horror film, through and through. This is a perfect movie to get drunk with your friends at and then make fun of it. Over-extended editing, horrible sound design, and the worst cinematography I’ve seen since my own feature film… this movie is terrible and a delight.
What we get here is unbelievable. The DVD comes with a clamshell case to keep your movie in. It’s a real convenience, as I would typically have to shove the DVD in with my VHSs. Typically, that scratches my movies up, so it’s great to have a guard against that.
Also coming with the DVD is cover art, a real step-up from a lot of videos I’ve seen. Most videos now are just on the internet, so it’s a real novelty to have something with a picture on the front.
Finally, the crème de la crème: scene selection. Instead of having to go through the DVD to find out where you left off, you can select certain scenes and start from there. A real step up from theatrical exhibition, where you would have to watch the movie all over again in order to figure out where you left off. Scene selection is a real treat and I would recommend everyone checking it out.
Out of a Possible 5 Stars