I now understand why Travolta is a hardcore scientologist: he’s turning into an alien. In order to disguise this, his human handlers have bathed him in pancake makeup and skinned a Krite to cover up his extraterrestrial head. That is the only explanation for how artificial he looks in this trailer for The Forger, an art heist movie that looks as exciting as spending a day in an art museum devoted to paintings you find in hotels.

The tone of this trailer is all over the place, and the production quality looks like something that should be on NBC, which is probably why it’s going to premiere on DirecTV before hitting VOD. This could amount to some unintentional comedy gold, but then I see Christopher Plummer is in this and I just feel sad.

Lord Xenu’s The Forger premieres on DirectTV March 26, with a VOD release date of April 24.