I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone how much I love The Omen trilogy (TRILOGY. Like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I refute the existence of a fourth entry). There’s this air of sophistication about them that clashes so viciously with their trashy sensibilities and that keeps me coming back. I’ve almost completely forgotten everything about the 2006 remake, so it’s time for another version of the story to try and repurpose what worked about the original.

This first teaser doesn’t give us a whole lot to go on, but there are a few things we can glean from it. First off, it looks like Damien’s supernatural guard dog will be back. I approve. From the little bit of dialogue we hear, it seems that Damien doesn’t know about his Satanic parentage (fingers crossed that we get to actually see Damien’s birth-by-jackal this time around), so I’m getting a distinctly Omen II/The Final Conflict smushening vibe from this; Damien will learn about his role as the Anti-Jesus (as he did in Omen II), accept his fate and go on being all evil-y (a la Sam Neill in The Final Conflict. Only us true Omen-ites call it that instead of Omen III).

I’ll certainly see this considering it’s one of the lesser appreciated horror franchises out there, but I’m not getting my hopes up. I clawed my way to the end of Bates Motel‘s first season before jumping ship and haven’t heard much of a reason to get back on board. I hope Damien (that backwards ‘e’ in the trailer better not be part of the official title) attempts to blend that classiness and trashiness from the original films. Hell, I hope they utilize the best thing from the Gordon McGill novels and have Damien anally impregnate a woman who later gives rectal birth to Damien Thorn II.

Yup, either this show gives us an assbaby or I’m writing it off entirely. Guess we’ll see if 2016 is the Year of the Buttchild.