*sigh* I knew it.

Talking with my fellow Chewers, some of us brought up the fact that no one wants to make horror movies for kids anymore, and how Joe Dante’s The Hole (which is really good) was the last one any of us could dredge up. I don’t think Goosebumps is going to give Master Dante’s flick a run for its money.

This is a bad trailer. The dumb pop song, the emphasis on stupid humor, and good Christ that sidekick kid is nails on my soul’s chalkboard. That’s a shame because the gag of him biting a werewolf because he has silver fillings is kind of great. And for pure indefensible nostalgia, seeing monster blood on screen made my inner eight year-old smile.

There’s still some potential fun to be had here (seeing all the monsters grouped together was like a preteen’s The Cabin in the Woods moment). Jack Black doesn’t seem too terrible, the effects are kiddy fare quality but not in an awful way (I actually dig the shot of the words liquidizing and floating off of the page), and I hope that they are saving some of the bigger/scarier monster stuff for later. And seeing a giant praying mantis wreck havoc is a little nice. Look, I have to see this thing so allow me any silver linings I can find.

Goosebumps prevents your kids from reading a book on October 16.

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