I learned a valuable lesson about speculation and theorizing from another property with J.J. Abrams’ name attached to it: Lost. I was so deep into fan theories, reading whole books that analyzed every episode, and when the curtain finally closed, I was thoroughly disappointed. I think if I had been able to reign in my hypotheses, I might have been able to accept the final season’s unflinching devotion to continued puzzlement. So, the lesson I learned from Lost was this: don’t overdo your speculating, because it can only lead to disappointment.

With all that said, here’s some new photos from The Force Awakens for you to chew over. Personally, I don’t see a whole lot to ponder about (these are almost all character profiles, and even the first real look at Domnhall Gleeson’s General Hux offers little to dissect), but far be it from me to put any limitations on the imaginations of Star Wars fans.

Rey makes her best "brush my teeth/constipated poop" face, while Finn seems to be morphing into a Dick Tracy villain.

Rey makes her best “brush my teeth/constipated poop” face, while Finn seems to be morphing into a Dick Tracy villain.


Domnhall Gleeson looking fashionably fascist as General Hux. He’s a swastika and a cap away from going full Ralph Fiennes.


Kylo Ren’s gangsta rap album cover, “First Order of Business”.


Captain Phasma looking smooth as chrome butter.


Poe Dameron recreates his favorite scene from “Armageddon”.


R2D2 and C3PO, whose new arm is a product tie-in with Red Hots.


No joke here, because whatever that thing is, it’s my kind of Star Wars.

Much more interesting than these pictures is what the EW article has to say about the new mystery baddie, Kylo Ren. He’s described as a “Vader obsessive” and modeled his digs deliberately after ol’ Anni. The article also says that his controversial lightsaber (it’s cool and will make a good toy. That’s all that matters in Star Wars) is a homebrew job. But the real bombshell is his name. Not only is Kylo Ren not his real name, but the “Ren” part is a title, much like Darth was to Vader. Apparently, Kylo is part of the Knights of Ren, and he was given that name when he joined up with them. Who are the Knights of Ren? What could Kylo Ren’s name actually be? (He’s gotta be a Skywalker, right?) Begin speculation!

The Force Awakens slaughters Avatar‘s box office record on December 18th.

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