This is going to piss people off.

I don’t know if it’s because nothing surprises me anymore in the world of remakes, that nothing truly is sacred as far as property goes (intellectual or otherwise), or that nothing could do the Escape from New York franchise worse than Escape from L.A. did.

Breck Eisner is now the director of the requel/preimagining/cremake of John Carpenter’s seminal Escape from New York.

As many of you know, Breck Eisner and I are legendary cohorts in the interview world, as our discussions on his The Crazies remake literally changed how people do interviews in its fabulousness. It was transcendent in ways beyond mere human communication and transcripts of it have been sent into space in capsules as a token of mankind’s progress as a race.

It’s very weird to imagine someone other than Kurt Russell playing Snake. In fact, considering the character’s history before the film he could still play the character and actually probably add a bunch of real nuance. The guy’s a great actor and his face gets more and more interesting over time. Dark Blue was only a few years ago and showcased that the guy can still crank it up.  But of course they’re going to find someone new. Luckily Chris Pine’s too busy.

I don’t have a suggestion. Gerard Butler was attached a while. He’d have been good. Law Abiding Citizen is not a very good movie but I love Butler’s work in it. He’s got the juice to play Snake but he’s off the project.

Plus they’re definitely going to go younger. How does Zac Efron look with a patch?