We’re entering a new age here at CHUD, with a refreshed stable of writers, a re-energized concentration of efforts, and a focus on consistent, knowledge-backed fun. To ring in this new era for the site we wanted to bring you a truly special, truly memorable, truly incredible list that characterizes what CHUD is about, and we think we’ve cooked up just the thing.
The 25 Grossest, Most Execrable Moments in Film.
We’re here to explore the most depraved, flinch-worthy, vomit-inducing (or vomit-involving) moments ever put to film. We’re not interested in simple gore and viscera here… We’re looking for the shittiest, pusiest, cummiest, pukeiest, piss-filled scenes in the history of motion-pictures. Some will be huge, some will be small, but they’ll all be gross. We’ve also put an unprecedented amount of effort into pre-planning, scheduling, and dividing the effort for this list, so expect it to hit you every one of the next 25 weekdays (with a number of special surprises planned for the weekends!).
So without further ado, grab your nearest complimentary airsick bag (or maybe just a whole trashcan) and jump into CHUD’s newest list.
DAY 25
[Well… kinda. Almost. And then later definitely.]
Pink Flamingos (1972)
If
this final, conclusive entry was delayed for any reason, it’s that the
search for an appropriate end for this list was a tough one. While we’ve
covered a wide spectrum of grossness that ranged from unique to just
flat out disgusting, we needed something special to cap things off and
put the final punctuation mark on a pretty extreme CHUD list.
Fortunately, we still have an ace in the hole with John Waters and one
of his early pieces –a notable member of the cinema of reprehensible– Pink Flamingos.
A truly deviant film, it was shot on weekends for very little money and
is a true tall tale of trash. If you’re not familiar, it boils down to
the competition between a trashy, trailer-inhabiting family and a pair
of local sleeze-mongers to earn the title of “filthiest humans alive.”
The movie is weird, amateurish, gross, and more than little
uncomfortable as Divine and her family have a good ole time in a
backwoods playground of deplorable behavior.
An asshole. Singing. Or at least pucker-syncing to “Surfin’ Bird” by (appropriately enough) The Trashmen.
Click the preview above if you’ve got the mental and intestinal
fortitude to watch a man’s asshole prolapse out the lyrics to a classic
surfing song (you’ll have to provide the soundtrack in your head, by the
way).
This
sinewy dude. You get about as full of a look at him and his parts as
you could ever hope for. He performed anonymously, apparently not
banking on a quickly-launched career of mimicking songs with his gaping asshole.
If only this pre-GOATSE troubadour knew he was so ahead of his time and
that one of the first memes to spread across the internet –the
invention that would cause the single-most revolutionary change in human
communication since the invention of the type-press– would be a
tribute to his hole-antics.
Well
if by “it” you mean the shame, shock, and shit-whiffs… I guess out
into his adoring audience. You know, their various holes and such.
The possibility of you ever hearing “Surfin’ Bird” the same way every again.
Gross. There’s no poop so ultimately it’s just a sprawled, naked man, but he squeezes real hard.
The site of the slightly prolapsing anus, popping open and closed is
enough to cause some pretty hearty revulsion. These days, it’s the kind
of show that you’d have to go to a Nickelback concert, or brave a clown
gathering in the Midwest to witness.
If you require your gross to be a bit more visceral and textured, look no further than the Bonus Load below…
Today’s installment was written by Renn Brown.
BONUS LOAD:
may be the more infamous scene of the film, which has the lead
character Divine tossing some dog shit into his mouth to prove he’s the
filthiest actress in the world. It’s just the kind of
meta-shit-scarffing you’d expect from John Waters. There’s something
more clever and interesting about the pipes on the guy up above, but
it’s honestly a coin-toss which is going to make you vomit more.
