First let me say that I harbor no ill will towards Brett Ratner. I even think his Red Dragon is pretty ok. I don’t look to him as some sort of blight as some do. Plus, he produced Horrible Bosses, a movie I am sweet on. The web is rife with people who fire hate darts at the guy all day long and I don’t get it.

I used “I” five times in that paragraph. What is this, some other site? Anyway, Tower Heist does not look very good. At least if the trailer is any indication.

Yahoo Movies (and with the budget spent on this landing page we could keep CHUD.com and GUY.com in business for half a year) debuted the first look at Ratner’s new action comedy with a weird, eclectic cast.

The movie tells the story of a Maddoff-esque (Alan Alda, who literally plays roles like this in his sleep) corporate type who has embezzled the money of many around (including Ben Stiller, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, and Gabo.. Precious). They decide to heist the shit out of him and to do so they get career criminal Eddie Murphy out of jail to help them. What happens is Ocean’s Eleven without the style or the realization that it’s not 1986 and Eddie Murphy’s not funny anymore.

I keep trying to embed the trailer but Yahoo uses iframes. Iframes are a pain in your mother’s ass. If there’s a window here, watch the trailer. If not, watch it over there and hurry back. Can’t be over there on their fancy hit-gettin’ site while we lie out here in the cold gulag of no fancy Tower Heist ads*.

Click here if the stupid iframe technology doesn’t work in our great site.

* Like we deserve them with all my bitching.