Goddammit, I’m going to have to suffer through this trailer at least half-a-dozen times.
Adam Sandler, comedy hack and murderer of all a project’s potential taste or interest, has become the sad, sick nexus around which Hasbro and Columbia Pictures have reframed their Candyland film. Director Kevin Lima (A Goofy Movie, Enchanted) is still involved, but now Sandler has his tentacles wrapped around the property and will star as well as co-write and, of course, produce through his Happy Madison banner. He will surely make tens of millions of dollars from this deal.
If you’re thinking, “but this is a Candyland film, of course it was going to suck” then… well, you’re probably right. BUT it was also worth crossing our fingers that some deliciously amazing craziness was going to come out of the original form of this project… which was pitched by the screenwriters as “Lord of the Rings set in a world of candy.”
I will forever want to see that movie.
Whether it’s going to be some silly version of that with Adam Sandler mugging at the center of it remains to be seen, but since original writers Glenn Berger and Jonathan Aibel are nowhere mentioned and Sandler is co-writing with his Zohan cohort Robert Smigel, I’m sure that premise will be ditched. The lunatic ambition of making a war epic in candy is certainly out the door.
“Candy Land is more than just a game. It is a brand that children, parents and grandparents know and love. The world of Candy Land offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam. We are thrilled to partner with Hasbro and Happy Madison on this project.”
Let’s just all go fuck ourselves now.
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Source | Deadline
Of all the batshit board game movies, why couldn’t we get Ridley Scott’s Monopoly instead?
I’d be more enthusiastic about Eli Roth’s Operation.
Next up: Rob Schneider’s Tic-Tac-Toe
Which sign of the Apocalypse is this?
I believe the whore of babylon
Can we just agree that this is officially a movie for five year olds and never speak of it again? Oh, and “Life” A Todd Solondz Film.
Second the Ridely Scott Monolopy movie…also, Sandler shows the lack of creativity in appealing to a specific set of individuals. He baits this subgroup into accepting his films, when better ones come along-Apatow, Hangover( it works for this example), people largely stay away.
Tom Six’s “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” filmed on location in Tijuana in front of a live, studio audience.
Take the “Do Not Go To Jail! Do Not Collect 200 dollars! ” part of monopoly and morph it into a prison break movie, Directed by Die Hard’s John McTiernan. He’s been researching it thru his perjury trial recently.
Kubrick’s KerPlunk.
Michael Bay’s “Splat!”.
Dear god they are raping my childhood by fucking with the coolest board game ever! Or maybe stupid people deserve movies as much as smart people?
Sergio Leone’s Hangman
Shane Carruth’s Mouse Trap
Spike Lee’s Hangman.
The Pitch: A story of a young scout struggling to find his identity far from home in a forgotten war. Distant marshals and generals have ordered the senseless mission: to find the enemy flag and bring it back in an attempt to demoralize the unseen enemy. The unnamed scout is befriended by a grizzled old miner, who’s skills in detonating bombs is second only to his hard drinking. Long, gorgeous shots of pensive battlegrounds. Thoughtful, pensive moments among bloody fight scenes. Narration about the inevitability of being caught or blown up, and it’s relationship to the futility of war, and ultimately the struggles of life. This is Terrence Malick’s Stratego.
Joe Carnahan’s Chutes and Ladders starring Jason Statham and Saoirse Ronan.