The international trailer for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is ever-so-slightly longer than the trailer for the states, is structured a little differently, and features some dialogue from Dominic Cooper. It’s also still completely retarded.

While there are some decent looking shots and an admirably sense of scale to what we see of the film, it also looks like a giant over-produced mess of melodrama and anachronism. It butchers a Johnny Cash song to clumsily build a voice-over narration, even going so far as to hatchet his lyrics around so that he says, “and hell followed with me” instead of “and hell followed with him” which would have made just as much sense and not sounded completely ridiculous. I’m quite sure even an untrained ear can hear how clumsily that clip is stitched together.

Just eugh.

The thing is, I can appreciate a film that takes its jokey premise and unwinkingly plays it out for the whole film, but not when it’s an entire +$100m blockbuster that is selling to people who actually want vampire action and vampire drama, and is clearly taking itself as seriously as it would, say, a heart attack.

ALSO the Washington Monument stood uncompleted for two decades in the 1800s, a period during which Lincoln’s presidency occurred. Construction didn’t begin on the structure again until after his death, and wasn’t completed* until nearly twenty years after his incident in the Ford Theater, when it became the tallest structure in the world until the Eiffel Tower’s completion.

So pretty much fuck that shot.

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*Funny: The monument was fitted with the largest piece of aluminum ever milled at the time, which was a big deal because aluminum was as expensive as silver or gold. This was only a few years before a new refining process made aluminum dirt cheap.

via Empire