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President Cheney - Unlimited Power!

post #1 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:32pm
Thread Starter 
Bush to hand over power to Cheney for a routine colonoscopy on Saturday.

Quote:
President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy Saturday, his spokesman said, revealing that Bush will hand over presidential powers to Vice President Dick Cheney while he is under under anesthesia.

White House press secretary Tony Snow told reporters that Bush would have the procedure at his Camp David, Md., mountaintop retreat.
Any predictions as to what Cheney will do once he is in power?
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post #2 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:36pm
I don't know, but I just shit out all of my bones.
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post #3 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:42pm
Declare homosexuality flat-out illegal (family excepted), then declare having a colonoscopy evidence of homosexuality, give Bush the chair, and rule America from inside some kind of impenetrable dome atop Mount Rushmore.
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post #4 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:48pm
Laugh now guys, but the Iranians won't when the Nuclear Missiles Rain forecast that Supreme Overlord Cheney has planned this week-end finally hits them.
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post #5 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:48pm
So, war with Iran by Sunday morning? They better find some polyps at least. I'd hate for Western civilization to go down the crapper in 24 hours just because some old barbeque got impacted.
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post #6 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:50pm
First 5 minutes in power

Sign new executive order requiring any office holder under anesthesia must be kept that way until receipt of a signed presidential order specifying otherwise.

Next 5 minutes in power

Sign second new executive order that all members of the house and senate must undergo routine colonoscopys.


Following 5 minutes in power

Laugh maniacally while ordering up a case of scotch and 5 hookers to the oval office.
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post #7 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonvoight's car
Bush to hand over power to Cheney for a routine colonoscopy on Saturday.
I take it he's having his head removed from it?
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post #8 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:52pm
Thread Starter 
All I know is that pretty boy John Edwards better watch his ass.
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post #9 of 34
7/20/07 at 1:57pm
When this is over, Leslie Nielsen must star in the dramatization.
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post #10 of 34
7/20/07 at 2:04pm
"Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip!"
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post #11 of 34
7/20/07 at 2:05pm
I think I'm going to go to Canada this weekend, just to be safe.
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post #12 of 34
7/20/07 at 2:17pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
I think I'm going to go to Canada this weekend, just to be safe.
Who do you think he'll target first? Damn pinko commies with their hockey and universal health care. It's downright Unamerican! Although I hear Cheney is a huge Degrassi fan.
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post #13 of 34
7/20/07 at 2:18pm
We have Bryan Adams.

The U.S. Military can't do shit.
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post #14 of 34
7/20/07 at 2:55pm
"POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!!!"

I'd love to see a Dick Cheney Twitter:

"Am assuming power of President."

"Am sitting at big desk in oval office. Have my feet up."

"Prank-calling that pansy Barack. Asked him if he knows anyone named 'Obama Sin-Laden'".

"Taking dump in oval office bathroom. 17" LCD satellite TV in here. Sweet!"
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post #15 of 34
7/20/07 at 3:03pm
Really, how is this any different from the current state of affairs? Uh-oh, Cheney's got control. Yeah, that's different...
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post #16 of 34
7/20/07 at 3:06pm
Yeah, I always find the implication that until now, Bush has been acting as some kind of voice of reason and moderation to keep Cheney's scheming in check, deeply amusing.

In a Dr. Strangelove kind of way.
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post #17 of 34
7/20/07 at 3:10pm
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post #18 of 34
7/20/07 at 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz
Yeah, I always find the implication that until now, Bush has been acting as some kind of voice of reason...
I've heard more credible theories from Uncle Cthulu.
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post #19 of 34
7/20/07 at 3:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonvoight's car
All I know is that pretty boy John Edwards better watch his ass.
Ya know, Edwards does have a purty mouth.....
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post #20 of 34
7/20/07 at 3:32pm
I wouldn't be surprised if Bush experienced "mysterious" complications during his procedure.
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post #21 of 34
7/20/07 at 4:04pm
So, for a brief window on Saturday, Cheney'll be 100% executive branch? God, the poor man, he'll feel so exposed!
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post #22 of 34
7/20/07 at 4:42pm
Who wants to take an over/under on executive signing statements?
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post #23 of 34
7/20/07 at 4:44pm

"You betrayed the LAW!"


"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
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post #24 of 34
7/20/07 at 4:46pm
And they're supposed to be twins!
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post #25 of 34
7/20/07 at 4:47pm
He's going to hold a press conference and all his staff is looking uncomfortable and embarrassed because Cheney insists on wearing the Judge Dredd helmet everywhere.
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post #26 of 34
7/20/07 at 5:28pm
Thread Starter 
First order of business, pardon that cute little gingersnap Linsay Lohan. She was great in The Parent Trap.
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post #27 of 34
7/20/07 at 5:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trav McGee
So, for a brief window on Saturday, Cheney'll be 100% executive branch? God, the poor man, he'll feel so exposed!
I thought Cheney wasn't part of the executive branch, but a law unto himself?
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post #28 of 34
7/20/07 at 5:46pm
It would be kind of awesome if Cheney framed Bush for gunning down Dan Rather. Plus, Secretary of Defence Jurgen Prochnow.
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post #29 of 34
7/20/07 at 7:17pm
"I will MAKE it legal!"
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post #30 of 34
7/20/07 at 8:42pm
He'll receive a new subpoena, with a post-it reading 'President = Executive Branch. Regards, Nancy' on the first page.

Well, one can hope.
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post #31 of 34
7/20/07 at 9:44pm
that would be the great if they subpoena him tomorrow.
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post #32 of 34
7/22/07 at 8:56am
I've now seen a photo of a polyp taken from George W. Bush's colon.

I'm not sure what I think about this.
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post #33 of 34
7/22/07 at 9:01am
The best thing that has come out of his presidentship?
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post #34 of 34
7/22/07 at 11:44am
Nevermind the polyp -- did they remove his head?
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