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World's fattest man

post #1 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:27pm
Thread Starter 
For fucks sake, how does one get that big?!



Quote:
Manuel Uribe, tipping the scales at 560 kilograms (1,234 pounds) and seen here at his home in 2006, will be listed as the world's fattest man by the Guinness Book of Records, while a loss of 200 kilos (440 pounds) may make him the man who lost the most weight.
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post #2 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:30pm
Ah wash mahself with a rag on a stick!
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post #3 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:36pm
If he was setting out to be the world's fattest man, I guess I can understand that.

But seriously, if he blames that on a glandular problem, Imma kill someone.
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post #4 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:39pm
Bet that fucker cums cream cheese.
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post #5 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:40pm
That reminds me of one of the Ennis Punisher issues where a kid is nearly crushed by his massive mother's corpse.
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post #6 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:46pm
Not shown: Kevin Spacey sneaking up behind him with a gun and some spaghetti.
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post #7 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:51pm
Get that man a Sail Barge.
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post #8 of 51
7/29/07 at 3:57pm
I'm honestly curious. Can he walk? That is just a huge amount of weight (over a half-ton) to be moving around.
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post #9 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer smile
I'm honestly curious. Can he walk? That is just a huge amount of weight (over a half-ton) to be moving around.
I doubt it. He'd probably need Baron Harkonnen's anti-grav belts to get around. Or a forklift.
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post #10 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:14pm
Bet his cholesterol level can't be measured with human numbers. Oh, and anyone that wants to can feel free to insert a "Blob" joke here.
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post #11 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:20pm
What I don't understand is how he can afford to eat. It's clear he doesn't work and if he has some internet job then how can he afford house payments? And bills? And if his family is buying all the food for him then fuck them. They should be charged for something.
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post #12 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:45pm
"I hear that guy's ass has its own congressman!"
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post #13 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChunkyLover53
"I hear that guy's ass has its own congressman!"
Two. One for each cheek. I hear they're divided on a lot of issues.
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post #14 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:50pm
Thread Starter 
The bed sores on his leg's almost made me puke. I'm seriously nauseous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan
And if his family is buying all the food for him then fuck them. They should be charged for something.
Yeah, that's my thought too. Clearly he can't move, so someone is enabling him and has been for years. If starving people is a crime, it seems like enabling someone to get to a dangerously obese weight should have some penalty as well.
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post #15 of 51
7/29/07 at 4:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Wood
That reminds me of one of the Ennis Punisher issues where a kid is nearly crushed by his massive mother's corpse.
Or when Frank Castle's neighbor has to get a new toilet cuz he keeps breaking them and asks if they have one made out of Adinmantium.

Christ, looking at one of his thigh sacks, it appears that thing is bigger than my entire torso.

All I know is, was he promised a garbage bag full of popcorn if he calmed down?
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post #16 of 51
7/29/07 at 5:07pm
I keep thinking of the Looney tunes cartoon "Chow Hound". I'm expecting to hear a cat and mouse had put a funnel in his mouth and said "This time, we didn't forget the gravy!"
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post #17 of 51
7/29/07 at 5:08pm
All in all, kinda sexy.
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post #18 of 51
7/29/07 at 6:20pm
Man, this made my attempt at eating a burger...interesting.
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post #19 of 51
7/29/07 at 7:43pm
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post #20 of 51
7/29/07 at 7:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom = $1.05
Man, this made my attempt at eating a burger...interesting.
I was treated to this thread on the same day I found out about the "Fast Food Hoedown" one.

Suddenly I have this mental image of every chewer that posted in there.
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post #21 of 51
7/29/07 at 8:56pm
I see the buckets at the side of the bed, and I think , "Oh God, he eats from those, doesn't he?".
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post #22 of 51
7/29/07 at 9:03pm
You think he eats from those? I just assumed that's what he uses to take a shit. Probably both.
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post #23 of 51
7/29/07 at 9:07pm
Why is it, when these pictures of massive fat guys show up, they're naked, I don't need to see that, for god's sake puts some pants on man.
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post #24 of 51
7/29/07 at 9:24pm
You probably couldn't find a muʻumuʻu big enough for him, let alone a pair of trousers.
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post #25 of 51
7/29/07 at 10:19pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma
Why is it, when these pictures of massive fat guys show up, they're naked, I don't need to see that, for god's sake puts some pants on man.


Clothes don't help all that much. I'm still grossed out.
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post #26 of 51
7/29/07 at 10:56pm
I'd rather see that than a huge naked fat guy.
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post #27 of 51
7/29/07 at 11:01pm
What really gets me is that he's lost more than twice what I weigh, and still weighs four times what I do. How can a human body survive that?
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post #28 of 51
7/29/07 at 11:27pm
Kimmel's had 'interviews' with him sporadically over the weeks. I honestly thought it was fake.

Somebody should put him out of his misery.
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post #29 of 51
7/29/07 at 11:27pm
That ... that's not a testicle, is it?
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post #30 of 51
7/29/07 at 11:31pm
I'm not sure it matters what the distinct parts are anymore.
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post #31 of 51
7/30/07 at 12:21am
I see this pic and all I can think about is that line said by John Doe in Seven:

"Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal."
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post #32 of 51
7/30/07 at 3:51am
His family or whoever takes care of him should be put in jail and he should be in a hospital. How do you seriously get to such a state? Is there some mental illness that causes it?
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post #33 of 51
7/30/07 at 1:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI
I don't know what offends me more:

The disgusting size of that guy... or the fact that your doctored pic has a serious lacking of a certain Salacious B. Crumb. This mound of flesh needs a Kowakian monkey-lizard STAT! Unless that's him, deep-fried with eleven secret herbs and spices?


I totally get a "Pearl" (BLADE) vibe from this guy as well.

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post #34 of 51
7/30/07 at 3:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
For fucks sake, how does one get that big?!
Practice, Practice, Practice.
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post #35 of 51
7/30/07 at 3:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
I don't know what offends me more:

The disgusting size of that guy... or the fact that your doctored pic has a serious lacking of a certain Salacious B. Crumb. This mound of flesh needs a Kowakian monkey-lizard STAT! Unless that's him, deep-fried with eleven secret herbs and spices?


There yah go.

Oh, I hope Millette has given enough reps to others to negrep me on this again. Please please please.
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post #36 of 51
7/30/07 at 3:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
That ... that's not a testicle, is it?
I think so. It's either that or a bean-bag chair stapled to his leg.
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post #37 of 51
7/30/07 at 4:29pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by India7
I think so. It's either that or a bean-bag chair stapled to his leg.
Personally, I think it's whatever the equivalent of "Upper Pussy Baggage" is for men. You know, that second fat pouch that protudes bellow the belly but above the genitals on fat people.
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post #38 of 51
7/30/07 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
Personally, I think it's whatever the equivalent of "Upper Pussy Baggage" is for men. You know, that second fat pouch that protudes bellow the belly but above the genitals on fat people.
It's called a GUNT, and I use it flagrantly and shamelessly regardless of gender.
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post #39 of 51
7/30/07 at 4:44pm
I was told that it's called a FUPA, as in "Fat Upper Pussy Area."
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post #40 of 51
7/30/07 at 4:51pm
Thread Starter 
GUNT has now officially been added to my lexicon. Hilarious. FUPA ain't bad either.
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post #41 of 51
7/31/07 at 2:59am
Hmmm, well "I don't understand his leg" is a sentence I never expected to use in my life.
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post #42 of 51
7/31/07 at 5:33pm
I saw this dude on TLC's 'Half Ton Man' special. He had a girlfriend who was helping him lose weight and he actually got down to a size where they got him out of his house just by cutting out a window. Before that, he had no hope of leaving his room barring the destruction of an entire side of wall.

Well, at the end of the show, they put him on a flatbed and had a parade. The whole town was joyful that he would eventually become normal and hoped that he would lead a normal life. He relapsed after that though.
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post #43 of 51
7/31/07 at 5:38pm
Thread Starter 
Did the special address how he got that big? Specifically, who was helping get all that food to consume considering he is incapable of walking on his own?
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post #44 of 51
7/31/07 at 6:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imperator GAC
He had a girlfriend who was helping him lose weight and he actually got down to a size where they got him out of his house just by cutting out a window.
If this guy scored himself a girlfriend, and one that was willing to do all that to help him no less, that gives me hope for the human race.

See, single folks? Triumph (band, not dog) was right! There IS somebody out there, some where, waiting for someone to come their way!

Some day (guitar riff!).
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post #45 of 51
7/31/07 at 6:07pm
Maybe he doesn't eat a lot, maybe he's just where food goes to die.
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post #46 of 51
7/31/07 at 6:17pm
No...no. he ate alright. I believe his family fed him and just couldn't stand his whining whenever he was hungry. Which was all the time. If i remember corrrectly, the epilogue mentioned that his girlfriend left him after his relapse.

For some reason I love TLC's fat shows and have seen quite a few of them. On this other one, this other jelloid was saying that if his parents didn't give him food, he'd just order it himself. Now, one wonders where he gets his money from, but the show didn't investigate that far. They just showed delivery boy after delivery boy giving him food through the window while he was literally licking his fingers from his last meal. They are self confessed addicts to food and will find a way to get at it.
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post #47 of 51
7/31/07 at 6:20pm
Wow. This picture is now the background of my computer.
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post #48 of 51
7/31/07 at 6:21pm
And I just noticed...he's doing kind of an amazing split. I'm not sure I could sit in that position and I only weigh 155.
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post #49 of 51
7/31/07 at 6:44pm
He was able to leave the house a couple of months ago.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17509907/
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post #50 of 51
7/31/07 at 7:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imperator GAC
No...no. he ate alright. I believe his family fed him and just couldn't stand his whining whenever he was hungry. Which was all the time.
Gotta feel bad for the guy. He can't help himself.
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