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Vegansexuals: No Carnivore Partners, Please!

post #1 of 107
7/31/07 at 6:58pm
Thread Starter 
An interesting story out of New Zealand:

Quote:
Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.
It's preposterous, but thought provoking nonetheless. It's true that our bodies are made up of the elementary particles of what we consume, but calling it an 'Animal Graveyard' is just dramatic nonsense. Plants and animals are the sun's energy converted into matter, and consuming that matter converts it back into energy. Besides, we have our meat-eating human ancestors to thank for our current status as world's smartest mammal, since the energy stored in animal protein was critical for our rapidly developing brains.

Calling me a cow graveyard is like saying a lion is a zebra urn, or that a mighty redwood is a deer piss coffin, or that an OH MY GOD THAT IS THE UGLIEST HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

It looks like Terry Gilliam in a wig.
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post #2 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:10pm
Being married to a mild vegetarian ( as she have food with animal stock or just remove the meat out of her plate), I can understand the feeling, but unlike these psychos, she'll never bother me with crap related to her choice.

I always wondered what stage lie beyond the already crazy state of Vegan. This, it seems, is it.
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post #3 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:18pm
Jesus, it's not like all these sheep are going to eat themselves.

I was thinking more like ET in a wig.

I think it's a little hyperbolic to call this a phenomenon.

Why are the ugly people naked? It's fucking freezing around here.
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post #4 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:24pm
You Kiwis are a weird bunch.

Why don't you do like what every farming nation always did; marry the wife and fuck the sheep ? Why confuse the roles ?
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post #5 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
I always wondered what stage lie beyond the already crazy state of Vegan. This, it seems, is it.
Then the next step must be a monogamous sexual relationship with vegetables themselves. That salad bar is going to need more than a sneeze guard.
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post #6 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage

Why don't you do like what every farming nation always did; marry the wife...
'Round these parts we like to marry our fiancees then fuck a sheep. Wacky bigamistic Canadians.
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post #7 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:30pm
Martin, your wife and I could have dinner together - we have very similar eating habits. Poor DaveB is a true omnivore and thus has had to learn to work around/with my fussiness. He has a hamburger, he brushes his teeth before kissing me, and it's no big deal.

That said, I have a vegetarian friend whose husband is an Atkins poster child. I ran into him in the grocery store once and all he had in his basket was some ground beef, a package of bacon, and some meatloaf from the deli. When I asked what he was doing, he smiled and said "meat night." There's a line somewhere, and that crosses it. *shudder*
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post #8 of 107
7/31/07 at 7:34pm
"I'm a level 5 Vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."
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post #9 of 107
7/31/07 at 8:09pm
So, I'm guessing that oral sex would be out of the question for that woman, let alone swallowing.
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post #10 of 107
7/31/07 at 9:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonvoight's car
So, I'm guessing that oral sex would be out of the question for that woman, let alone swallowing.
Not as long as she equates cock to carrot and pussy to peaches. Which I do. Bugs bunny is fuckn insatiable.
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post #11 of 107
7/31/07 at 9:29pm
Different strokes...I guess,
But like I needed any more reasons to look down on vegans, sickly race that they be.
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post #12 of 107
7/31/07 at 11:27pm
My sister will be delighted to hear that she's not at the far end of the crazy vegetarian scale. Her husband comes to family dinners and eats meat with the rest of the normal people.
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post #13 of 107
7/31/07 at 11:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
That said, I have a vegetarian friend whose husband is an Atkins poster child. I ran into him in the grocery store once and all he had in his basket was some ground beef, a package of bacon, and some meatloaf from the deli. When I asked what he was doing, he smiled and said "meat night." There's a line somewhere, and that crosses it. *shudder*

Any meteorites land in your area recently? An unusual number of pets gone missing in the neighborhood? Does this guy have a big barn somewhere? These questions need answered.
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post #14 of 107
7/31/07 at 11:42pm
I don't know if I necessarily find this so crazy... well, bear with me here.

As far as I know (and I admittedly know only a little), there are two types of vegetarian/vegans.

1) the type that does it for health reasons (or they just don't like the taste of meat).

2) the type that does it for philosophical reasons.

I would seem weird for people in group 1 to not want to date/marry/etc omnivores... but I think it is a reasonably logical next step for group #2.

If you truly believe that eating meat is evil... why would you want to have anything at all to do with people who eat meat? It would be like thinking that stabbing people in the throat with pens is a horrible thing to do... but hooking up with those people...

I have given up beef, but for health reasons (I have it perhaps once a year, maybe twice, and only if it is a really nice cut of something). I still love me my fair share of chicken, pork, turkey, lamb, duck, lobster, salmon, etc.
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post #15 of 107
8/1/07 at 12:28am
As an unrepentant meat eater, I'd have issues with dating a vegan or vegetarian depending on their justifications for it, but sure as hell not for something stupid like this. It's enough of a disconnect for most people to have such wildly different philosophies in the first place without this additional "You're an animal product, too!" nonsense. I really hate the vegan movement.
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post #16 of 107
8/1/07 at 1:16am
Isn't there something to be said about the morality of humans eating meat? I think we forget that we're animals, and omnivores at that. Humans eat meat is about as immoral as feeding a dog a table scrap of turkey.
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post #17 of 107
8/1/07 at 1:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kungfumonkeyMike
1) the type that does it for health reasons (or they just don't like the taste of meat).
I don't believe there are any health benefits of being a Vegan.

Vegetarian - yes, healthier than meat eaters in many ways.
Vegan - no. Pasty, thin and lacking in energy with a surplus of flatulence.

Also - the "don't like the taste" excuse works only for the meat/no meat argument, not veganism. I don't believe anyone likes the taste of vegan candy, margarine, or stale butterless pastries, muffins and various other foodstuffs MORE than the regular sane versions.

I am not speaking ill of vegetarians in any way,
I'm just very anti-extremism. Try living in Portland.
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post #18 of 107
8/1/07 at 1:20am
I'm a vegetarian but my wife is not.I don't give a fuck.


Also, my wife doesn't look like that woman from the article. She's straight out of Nilbog.
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post #19 of 107
8/1/07 at 1:29am
[QUOTE=Andrew Collins]I don't believe there are any health benefits of being a Vegan.

I didn't mean to imply that they were valid health reasons... just that they would personally justify their reasons as "for their health."

I also didn't even read the article carefully until now, though, and in response to Smeagol, I took the "made up of dead animals" in a more philosophical sense and not in an ultra literal sense... but having read the quotes more carefully, it seems there may be a bit of both going on, but it is hard to say what % is on each side of the spectrum.

Yay meat!
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post #20 of 107
8/1/07 at 1:32am
Next up, goth kids declare themselves "Gothosexual."

Fellow students call them "Vampires." Also: "Homos."

I like redheads, does that make me a rutilusexual? I think not.
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post #21 of 107
8/1/07 at 1:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kungfumonkeyMike
I didn't mean to imply that they were valid health reasons...
Ahh, gotcha.
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post #22 of 107
8/1/07 at 2:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Collins
I am not speaking ill of vegetarians in any way,
I'm just very anti-extremism. Try living in Portland.
Now that you mention it, every crazy extremist vegan I've met here came in from Portland. Interesting.
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post #23 of 107
8/1/07 at 2:47am
That "woman" looks like David Bowie's retarded half-brother Desmond.
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post #24 of 107
8/1/07 at 2:54am
Dating a vegetarian seems like it might be kind of a bummer anyway. Certainly complicate meal planning at least.
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post #25 of 107
8/1/07 at 3:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Wood
Dating a vegetarian seems like it might be kind of a bummer anyway. Certainly complicate meal planning at least.
As someone who's been in a relationship with a vegetarian for years, it's not as bad as all that. Although she did say she never thought she'd be with someone who wasn't a vegetarian, she doesn't complain about my eating habits. Hell, a lot of vegetarian food is god damned delicious (TLT's, Seitan Fingers, Soy Burgers, Tofu Sticks, etc.) so I can't really complain as the worst thing to come of it has been the broadening of my culinary horizons. Could just be an exception to the norm of such situations, though.
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post #26 of 107
8/1/07 at 9:47am
I dated a vegan girl once. It didn't last long, though. Apparently her seeing me unhinge my jaws and swallow a whole chicken scared her.
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post #27 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeRobotSex
Isn't there something to be said about the morality of humans eating meat? I think we forget that we're animals, and omnivores at that. Humans eat meat is about as immoral as feeding a dog a table scrap of turkey.
I don't think it's the morality of eating meat, per se, that's the problem for most vegetarians/vegans. Speaking from personal experience (and from conversations with my vegetarian friends), it's how we treat animals that we intend to consume that's the problem. I think that the conditions the animals we eat live in before they are slaughtered are immoral.* I'm also not comfortable with the way most dairy cows and hens live, but that's why I buy organic milk and cheese and humane eggs. My sister was vegan for a while, and she used to say that she'd eat eggs and milk if she had her own chicken and her own goat and could treat them in a way she found acceptable. I think you'd find a lot of vegans who would say the same.**


* I also think that I'm actually allergic to beef, but that's another story. One that involves a lot of baby vomit.

** Not that I'm here to defend that craziness.
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post #28 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:11am
I actually prefer the animals I eat to be as demoralized as possible. I want my chicken to feel awful before it's in my sandwich.
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post #29 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:12am
Sadness is tasty?
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post #30 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:16am
My vegan story: We know a neighbor couple that are vegans, and so are both of their kids (6 and 8, I think). From what I understand, the husband was the vegan and converted the wife. They recently got separated, and in the midst of all this, the husband now eats steak, chicken, etc., and the wife every now and then will eat wings, cheese, etc. One of the kids still stands by the vegetarian/vegan eating, but the other has ventured into eating seafood, among other things.

I just thought it was interesting that when the relationship fell apart, the vegan thing kind of went out the window. The wife is more of a vegetarian now than a strict vegan.
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post #31 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:16am
Eh, I worked for a year in a slaughterhouse. I didn't like the industrialisation of the killing process, the pitiful condition of most of the animals that came in to have their throats cut, I didn't like meat being scraped off the floor and packed for consumption, and I especially didn't like seeing meat being taken out of the freezer and re-labelled, then sent to the third world. I don't eat meat.
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post #32 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Sadness is tasty?
Tears are the finest marinade.
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post #33 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:22am
Well, they are salty.

My dad's a machine repairman and a huge meat-eater. He worked for a company for a while that sent him around the world to repair machines too large (or complex) to be shipped for repair. He went to a slaughterhouse in Iowa and came back unable to eat pork for about two years. I still don't think he eats it very often.
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post #34 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cow Puncher
That "woman" looks like David Bowie's retarded half-brother Desmond.
She may be a vegan in the looks department, but I bet she's an omnivore in the sack.
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post #35 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Sadness is tasty?
A more succinct encapsulation of Milette's worldview than I would've thought possible.
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post #36 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:52am
You know, Schwartz, you're right. Brad, I think I've got a new custom user text for you...
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post #37 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:53am
Everytime I meet a Vegee/Vegan who is one for moralistic reasons (health reasons I judge by "if it works for you, more power to you") I feel the incessant urge to shout:

I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!.

Seriously. What these people have done has categorized moralistically that killing a species for sustenance one or two phylums/sub-phylums away from human is worthy of moral condemnation, but everything else is fair game despite the fact that's it's still a living organism. It's a hypocritical position, save unless they've committed to the stance of only eating plants that died of natural causes. In that case though, they could add meat back into their diet that died of old age, and even move up to roadkill (possum mash with wilted lettuce - that's good eatin) since it died "accidently".


It oft reminds me of most "animal lovers" not fully indoctrinated into the full lunacy of PETA who tend to object to animals being treated poorly if they also happen to be cute. Everyone loves "Dolphin Safe" tuna, but no one seems overly concerned about the poor tuna.
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post #38 of 107
8/1/07 at 10:57am
I like going to eat lobster at a nice seafood restaurant, because then I actually get to pick out which animal I kill. It makes it so much more intimate.
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post #39 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
That said, I have a vegetarian friend whose husband is an Atkins poster child. I ran into him in the grocery store once and all he had in his basket was some ground beef, a package of bacon, and some meatloaf from the deli. When I asked what he was doing, he smiled and said "meat night." There's a line somewhere, and that crosses it. *shudder*
Has your friend's husband ever read Preacher? He may very well be constructing his very own meat woman during these special "meat nights." Shudder, indeed.
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post #40 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Wood
Dating a vegetarian seems like it might be kind of a bummer anyway. Certainly complicate meal planning at least.
If you have broad tastes, generally, it actually ends up being kind of enlightening. Like Zooey said, I'm pretty much* an omnivore, and, when I met her, she was not only a vegetarian (for the most part), but not a particularly adventurous eater. In compromising, we've ended up making a lot of interesting vegeterian-friendly dishes that I probably would have skipped in lieu of hamburgers or fried chicken and that she probably wouldn't have thought to make, previously being content with mashed potatoes and peas.

I still like eating meat and do relatively often, but I'll certainly bypass a steak any day for a great, meatless pasta bake or the right vegetarian Middle-Eastern or Indian dish.

Now, dating a vegan would pose a true challenge. Dairyless and eggless desserts just can't compete with the real thing.

* Pretty much, because I can't stand mushrooms. If I'm going to eat fungus, there'd better be some mild hallucinations involved, because putting something like that in your mouth merits some sort of award.
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post #41 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Death Surge
What these people have done has categorized moralistically that killing a species for sustenance one or two phylums/sub-phylums away from human is worthy of moral condemnation, but everything else is fair game despite the fact that's it's still a living organism.
Again, I think it's less the actual killing (although, sometimes, it's the killing, when revolting practices are used in the slaughterhouse) and more the way the animals live pre-killing that's the problem. That's my problem, anyway. That, and I have an almost clinical aversion to eating dead animals. It's the way I've always been. I don't fight it.

Anyway, it's a lot harder to fret over plants - nice soil? water? plant food? check, check, check. Happy plant. Let's eat.
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post #42 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron
Has your friend's husband ever read Preacher? He may very well be constructing his very own meat woman during these special "meat nights." Shudder, indeed.
Now, that's funny. He's not only a huge comics fan, but also happens to be the guy who loaned me the entire run of Preacher. Suspicious...
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post #43 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:13am
I've never read Preacher. Dave, should I be calling to check on C?
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post #44 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:22am
Thread Starter 
Oh my god, this thread has just turned into a kitchen fridge whiteboard.
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post #45 of 107
8/1/07 at 11:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
Tears are the finest marinade.
Now there's a sig if I ever read one.
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post #46 of 107
8/1/07 at 12:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Again, I think it's less the actual killing (although, sometimes, it's the killing, when revolting practices are used in the slaughterhouse) and more the way the animals live pre-killing that's the problem. That's my problem, anyway. That, and I have an almost clinical aversion to eating dead animals. It's the way I've always been. I don't fight it.
I give a pass to the "icky" factor with regards to dead animals (it's more a personal choice as opposed to a moral judgement), and making a case for fair treatment of an animal before killing it (I prefer to call that "transforming it into something delicious") stands on some human decency merits on it's own.

Essentially, you don't seem to have a problem that people eat meat, just that you would prefer it if they were nicer to their dinner beforehand. I don't see any moral ambiguity with that stance.
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post #47 of 107
8/1/07 at 12:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neal
Any meteorites land in your area recently? An unusual number of pets gone missing in the neighborhood? Does this guy have a big barn somewhere? These questions need answered.
If this man's name consists of a first name that is repeated twice then we must contact the authorities right away!
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post #48 of 107
8/1/07 at 12:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
If this man's name consists of a first name that is repeated twice then we must contact the authorities right away!
Crap.

*runs for the phone*
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post #49 of 107
8/1/07 at 12:44pm
the compassionate part of me really wants to be a Vegansexual, but realistically there's only so many times one can masturbate to Tom's Diner before tedium sets in.
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post #50 of 107
8/1/07 at 12:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky
Oh my god, this thread has just turned into a kitchen fridge whiteboard.
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Minsky again.
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