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Accurate Ad Slogans They'd Never Use - Page 2

post #51 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:21pm
T.G.I Fridays: Only hillbillies and inbreds go to Applebees
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post #52 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:26pm
Cialis: For fuck's sake.
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post #53 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:27pm
Carl's Jr.:Fuck you.
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post #54 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:29pm
Axe Body Spray: Smell like a Frenchman in no time
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post #55 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whirlybird
Carl's Jr.:Fuck you.
You forgot to add "I'm eating!"
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post #56 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:39pm
Cinemax: Just rent some porn, already.
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post #57 of 92
8/2/07 at 4:54pm
Suppositories: For the pooper.
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post #58 of 92
8/2/07 at 5:00pm
Smith & Wesson: Because you know she's cheating.
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post #59 of 92
8/2/07 at 5:29pm
Ex-Lax: It's the shit, yo!
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post #60 of 92
8/2/07 at 5:42pm
PS3: Hey, its cheaper than buying a third Xbox 360.
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post #61 of 92
8/2/07 at 5:45pm
Adult Swim (With the Exception of Venture Brothers): It's 1 am, you've smoked your third bowl, your buddies are getting KFC, it's time to watch tv that was meant for you.
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post #62 of 92
8/2/07 at 5:49pm
Vick Kennels: Where All Dogs Go to Heaven
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post #63 of 92
8/2/07 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
Adult Swim (With the Exception of Venture Brothers): It's 1 am, you've smoked your third bowl, your buddies are getting KFC, it's time to watch tv that was meant for you.
I could see Adult Swim actually using that, though.
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post #64 of 92
8/2/07 at 6:05pm
I was talking to a friend of mine about that and he said Adult Swim claims not to smoke pot while comming up with that stuff. Perhaps one of the biggest bald-faced lies to not come out of this nation's government.

K-Mart: The Poor Man's Wal-Mart
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post #65 of 92
8/2/07 at 6:08pm
Playboy: For the Articles
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post #66 of 92
8/2/07 at 6:56pm
Trader Joes: When you REALLY need ten pounds of bacon and 200 rolls of toilet paper.
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post #67 of 92
8/2/07 at 7:12pm
KY Jelly: Make that trip up the "Hershey Highway" that much easier.
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post #68 of 92
8/2/07 at 7:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
I was talking to a friend of mine about that and he said Adult Swim claims not to smoke pot while comming up with that stuff. Perhaps one of the biggest bald-faced lies to not come out of this nation's government.

K-Mart: The Poor Man's Wal-Mart
I would have gone with:

K-Mart: The Poorer Man's Wal-Mart.
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post #69 of 92
8/2/07 at 8:26pm
Here's an oldie but a goodie:
"Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
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post #70 of 92
8/2/07 at 9:28pm
Brian Posehn said that the real slogan for KY Jelly should have been "so your schlong doesn't look like it's been caught in your car door after a heavy night of mastubation: KY"
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post #71 of 92
8/2/07 at 9:47pm
NAMBLA: Expressing man on boy fornication since 1970.
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post #72 of 92
8/2/07 at 9:50pm
CNN:Fuck you America!

Bic Lighters: Because your roomate needs to spark one!
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post #73 of 92
8/2/07 at 9:54pm
FOX News: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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post #74 of 92
8/2/07 at 9:55pm
Summers Eve: It can't smell any worse...
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post #75 of 92
8/2/07 at 10:13pm
Amazon.Com: It's fun to avoid social contact!
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post #76 of 92
8/2/07 at 11:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
Ramses Condoms: You know. For cocks.
I'm still laughing about this one.


It also got me a weird look at work today. One of my co-workers was talking to me about an account, one that I could really give a fuck about, and this popped into my head and I let out a stifled laugh through my nose. She looked at me and I played it off as a stifled cough.

Thank you, Richard Dickson!
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post #77 of 92
8/2/07 at 11:47pm
Kool-Aid: It was FLAVOR AID at Jonestown, OK?

Pamprin: Yes I'll take out the trash already! Fuck!

Marlboro: Glad you wanted to look cool when you were 14, aren't you?

Choose Your Own Adventure Books: 99 Ways To Die!
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post #78 of 92
8/3/07 at 12:45am
Maxim: Playboy Without the Commitment

MTV: The M Used to Mean Something....

Dungeons and Dragons: Weird Friends Are Better Than No Friends At All
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post #79 of 92
8/3/07 at 12:52am
Jesus: the cause of, and answer to, all the Jews problems.

Moonshine: from cousin fucking all the up to Nascar, we gave white trash a reason to live.
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post #80 of 92
8/3/07 at 12:52pm
VH1: Cuz the C-list needs to pay their rent too
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post #81 of 92
8/3/07 at 1:09pm
Smirnoff Ice:Taste like Kool-Aid so you'll be having her legs behind her head in no time.

Mind of Mencia:Because the execs at Comedy Central are devoid of souls.
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post #82 of 92
8/3/07 at 4:54pm
Ramen: 90% of all college students recommend them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

Hero Cologne: Just because your a chicken-shit, doesn't mean you have to smell like one.

Cable one: Stupid fuck! Paying a fortune for channels you'll NEVER watch.

Headline News: Bringing you the same 3 minutes of coverage, over and over, all night long. P.S. Robin Meade is fucking HOT huh?

Magnum Condoms: She/He won't shit right for a month.

Columbia Pictures: Buy more tickets to "Spider-Man" so we can afford more movies like "Ultraviolet".

McDonalds: The burgers aren't getting smaller, your hands are getting bigger!

White Cloud Toilet Tissue: Well, you don't wanna walk around THAT all day, do you?

Chicken of the Sea: It's tuna but... oh for fuck's sake, just eat it.

Gerber: Save some time, just dump it on the kids head yourself.

PATHFINDER: Unrated DVD: Um, because it gots the guy that played "The Kurgan" in it.
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post #83 of 92
8/3/07 at 10:05pm
KFC: Enjoy your heart attack, fucker.
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post #84 of 92
8/5/07 at 7:27pm
Nintendo Wii: Because masturbation isn't a two player game.
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post #85 of 92
8/5/07 at 9:15pm
Natural Light: When you can't even afford Budweiser.
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post #86 of 92
8/5/07 at 9:39pm
Natural Light: It's the beer to have when you're having more than twelve.
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post #87 of 92
8/6/07 at 12:31pm
Getting high on NyQuil: Jesus Christ, get a job already you poor, lazy bastard.
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post #88 of 92
8/27/07 at 4:53am
The KKK: Somebody's got to say what you're thinking.
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post #89 of 92
8/27/07 at 7:01pm
Myspace: No real friends? get some fake her. Looser!
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post #90 of 92
9/2/07 at 11:21pm
The Republican Party: Just because you take it up the ass, doesn't mean you have to like it.
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post #91 of 92
9/2/07 at 11:35pm
Trim Spa: Because Anna Nicole looked GRREAAAT in the casket.
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post #92 of 92
9/7/07 at 6:38am
Magnum Condoms: When you want people to think you're packing a .44 instead of a snub-nose .357

RIAA: Just give us the money and no one gets hurt!

Furby: When you just have to irritate a motherfucker.
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