I graduated college today.

The long painful hellacious journey of just what in the fuck are you supposed to do with your life. Welcome aboard.

That's the answer I was expecting.

Consume and reproduce.

You graduated from college in the middle of August?

I'm expectin' my diploma in the mail soon as well, but my life is pretty much becoming way more certain than the average college kid's, as in these moves have all been planned for years now and the next move is rapidly approaching. College. Heh. Barely even noticed I was there.

I graduated from college back in June, yay for us.

If you're like me, plan to live at home for "just a little while" and watch that turn into "just the rest of the year" as you check Craigslist every day for jobs, and sigh over how unprepared for any of them college has left you.

Also any projects you tell yourself you'll "start again pretty soon"? You should probably start those today.

Of course, this is if you were a film student. Otherwise I'm sure you'll be fine. I hear regular colleges teach "things" that are "useful".

I am starting grad school in a couple weeks so I get to avoid the job search for that much longer.

Welcome to the real world.
If you're like me, you'll officially start your career as a costumed adventurer/Archaeologist.

I've made plans before to eat fast food and play Warcraft all day. Just because plans have been lain doesn't mean they're worthwhile plans.

Whatever you do, don't go to law school. Seriously. I know very, very few happy lawyers. I happen to be one of them, but it took me a long time to get there. For many it never happens, and it ain't worth the grief.

BTW, if you don't mind me askin', what's your degree in?

Sometimes, you just need a lil' QCT (Quality Chill Time), and "plans" like that are the best, most worthwhile thing for you, though. Time's gonna come when that option may not be available.

Only do graduate study if you have a very clear idea of what you want to do and where you want to go. Don't go on to do graduate study as a way of postponing the inevitable. It only postpones the inevitable.

I'm not using grad school as a way to delay the inevitable, I actually want to be a research scientist. The hard thing for me right now is that I have a computer science degree and I could actually get a decent paying job instead of continuing a ramen-fueled lifestyle. I just need to stick it out and it'll be worth it in the end.

Go back! Quick go back!

Sure you can afford better beer now, but trust me, do not leave. Stay my friend, stay!

If you're like me you have a degree that's worthless because you don't really care about it and got it because it was easy. It's also worthless since pretty much no one gives a shit if you have a degree in economics but with the particular background I have.

Now that I look back on it, I actually wish I didn't go to college and just stuck with the crap job I had or gone straight to another, less miserable job than movie theater manager. I learned more there than I ever learned in school.

Christ, what do you want from us? My education simply didn't prepare me for this thread.

Watcha gonn' dew wit a Bama degree?
Dat shit ain't valid in da rest oda cuntree
You about as mobile as Jim Caan in Mizree

Watch Kicking and Screaming as soon as possible.

I think I can help you there:

1) MAKE YOUR LIFE INTERESTING: You mentioned earlier that you're heading out to LA with your buddies. Don't fly, but drive! Get into some wacky advetnures, shit you'll be able to tell people years from now, especially anyone you're planning on bedding -"I'll never forget that time we were near Mt. Rushmore, trying to outrace those Lithuanian Para-Commandos to the microfilm hidden in Lincoln's nose. The gunfire, the jetpacks, that final knifefight in the moonlight with Mr. Big. Last time I'll ever date a redhead, let me tell you."

2) SAVE YOUR MONEY: say "no, thank you" to drugs (be polite - Lemmy always says "Good manners don't cost nothin' "), fancy sportscars, trendy fashions, etc. That shit's expensive and ultimately useless. Hoard your cash as much as you can, as often as you can, as you'll need it to survive, pay off your student loans (the day those are paid off will seem like Christmas, Halloween and the Fourth of July all rolled into one, ace), and getting into further wacky adventures down the line. Gene Simmons saved his money. Hugh Hefner saved his money - I rest my case.

3) WOMEN: You think you're "the Man". You think you're the mack daddy with the pimpingest pimp hand that ever pimped. You think you're all that, and a bag of chips (probably Ruffles). WRONG. You don't know shit. Some helpful advice from your Uncle Timothy225:
A) LOOK: If you want to get to know a woman better, watch her body language. Observe how she acts in certain situations. Examine every detail about her appearance, clothes, hairstyles, etc. Say nothing, take mental notes. It pays off later when she asks you questions re: her fashion choices, etc. This way if you're checking out another girl, and she gets pissed, you can defuse the situation by saying "yeah, she was cute, but not as cute as you were when you wore that red blouse with the denim skirt, hon. I especially like the way the snakeskin ankle boots gave that nice curve to your legs. Matter of fact, I think you could make that black leather bodysuit that redhead was wearing work alot better. The thought of that slinky outfit against your skin...mmmmm". Comes in handy when you have to buy her something, too - "remember that Ming Vase with the two dragons you saw at Intrinsic? the one you thought was 'adorable'? Well guess what...".
B) LISTEN: Women want someone who'll listen to what they say, especially if they have a problem ("I need to find this microfilm..."). Listen to everything they say; pay the utmost attention to every tiny detail. Don't offer to solve a problem for them, unless they ask you first. I've found they eat that shit up and will admire you for it.
C) LOVE: Before you hook up with any woman, train, train, train. Talk to lesbians, read some Playgirl, Cosmo, Kama Sutra, etc. Get to know the female sex drive intimately. Talk to lesbians, old girlfriends, etc. Study the occasional porno for some techniques. Surf the web. Take a womens' studies course at a community college. Do some yoga, tantric stuff (that really seems to work). I've been watching "Cathouse" on HBO, and saw some of the brothels in Nevada have classes on being a better lover - try one out! Lick the alphabet (thanks, Sam Kinison! That shit works!), buy Ron Jeremy a drink, etc. Then, when you finally hook up with that special lady, you'll not only be able to rock her world, but become the standard all other lovers will be judged by. Make her get off before you do, or the two of you get off together. Make it all about HER.

Hope this helps. It sure as shit helped me.

Fuck as many women as you possibly can in as short a time period as can be humanly achieved. This is the one and only key to happiness, harmony and success. The world religions don't want you to know this. You're welcome.

It may be a confusing time, but just remember it's also an exciting time full of possibility. Unlike many of us older, more established folks, you haven't sold your soul. So keep that in mind, and let it give you strength in the days ahead... because you can often get a lot of money for that shit.

Also watch the Paul w.S. Anderson film Soldier

Oh, God! He took the LSAT! Law School's his fall back position! Tim, listen to me very carefully: It's not too late! You haven't fully committed yet! You presumably still have a soul & scruples! California is the WORST place to start out as a lawyer. There are more lawyers in Cali than any other state in the Union. It's, from what I hear, abominably hard to get started there. IF, God for-fuckin'-bid, you MUST go the way of the law, at least move to another state after you graduate.

Like you won't be smiling during the final exam!

I'd consider failing it on purpose, so I'd have to repeat the course.

Betcha wish your Trig teacher looked like this.

::English major secret handshake.::

Welcome to the fold, brother. I got an English degree because I'm almost painfully bookish. After graduating, I kicked around for about three years, dumped my college boyfriend, had a lot of fun, met my husband during said fun, and then went back to grad school for my MLIS (Masters of Library and Information Science). The place is packed with English majors. One has to love it, though, because there's no way anyone goes into it for the money.

With that English degree, you can do damn near anything. You just have to figure out what that anything is going to be. Take some time, work some jobs that sound interesting, and be wary if they put you in a cubicle. Very, very wary.

Is working in a cubicle really that bad? Most tech companies I've visited have some sort of cubicles, even Google, which has the best facilities ever.

Yes. Yes I do.

And this is KEY: In that order!

Alabama?
Hook up with this guy, he's about to EXPLODE.

I'm another 0L on the cusp of starting law school, but I couldn't sell my house, so I had to defer my admission to next year. Let me guess, that was a blessing in disguise?

Anyways, unless Tim gets into Stanford, he'd probably be better off graduating from a school closer to where he wants to live.

If they work in cubicles, they're not the best facilities ever. Cubicles are inherently dehumanizing, and intended to smash down your soul so hard that you will never question authority again. Cubicles are the devil's offices. Even the Oompa Loompas didn't have to work in cubicles. They're evil.

Evil.

"I have three rules which I live by: Never get less than 12 hours sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never go near a lady with a tattoo of a dagger on her hand. Now you stick with that, and everything else is cream cheese."
-- The basketball coach in "Teen Wolf"