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Of All The Things To Put My Little Hometown In The Spotlight,...

post #1 of 20
8/15/07 at 2:41pm
Thread Starter 
...It had to be this?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293208,00.html

Quote:
Laughter might be unexpected in a liquor store where a robbery just occurred.

But that's how employees responded to the "Duct Tape Bandit" who hit Shamrock Liquors in Ashland and fled nearly empty handed.

A man who had his head wrapped in duct tape to conceal his identity walked into the store last Friday, Ashland police said.

Store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own, but his was wrapped around a wooden club that sent the robber fleeing, according to a report by WSAZ-TV in Huntington, W.Va.
Video:
"I'm not no duct tape bandit. Ya heard me? Do da math, do da homework."

The story made Keith Olberman last night and is quickly making the rounds around the web. Sigh...I need to get the hell out of Kentucky.
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post #2 of 20
8/15/07 at 2:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron
...It had to be this?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293208,00.html



Video:
"I'm not no duct tape bandit. Ya heard me? Do da math, do da homework."

The story made Keith Olberman last night and is quickly making the rounds around the web. Sigh...I need to get the hell out of Kentucky.
You need to get the hell out of Eastern Kentucky.
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post #3 of 20
8/15/07 at 2:44pm
Thread Starter 
Too true, Anderson. Too true. There be dragons here. Inbred dragons.
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post #4 of 20
8/15/07 at 2:52pm
I'll bet taking that tape off hurt like a sonofabitch.
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post #5 of 20
8/15/07 at 3:05pm

Here's an Idea!

Say no to meth while banging your aunt in the back of a rusted out pinto.
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post #6 of 20
8/15/07 at 3:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron
Too true, Anderson. Too true. There be dragons here. Inbred dragons.
True, all of the guys interviewed looked scarily similar to each other...maybe Kazee was telling the truth!
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post #7 of 20
8/15/07 at 4:04pm
For those of us on the coast (and haven't really been in the mid-west ever),
places like Kentucky still seem like mythical and dangerous Leatherface-states where everyone talks all crazy-like.


Ahh stereotypes....
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post #8 of 20
8/15/07 at 4:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Collins
For those of us on the coast (and haven't really been in the mid-west ever),
places like Kentucky still seem like mythical and dangerous Leatherface-states where everyone talks all crazy-like.


Ahh stereotypes....
Shit, I live in the Midwest, and I still get creeped out driving through some of the backwoods areas here in Wisconsin. The first time I went to visit my dad after he moved to Durand, I got lost and ended up in Bloomer, WI (possibly Boomer, I can't remember). I saw one little ramshackle dwelling that I swear housed at least one inbred serial killer.
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post #9 of 20
8/15/07 at 5:02pm
As much as I loved traveling through the back roads of Pennsylvania there were moments where I was scared for my life (Possum Hollow Road still sticks out as a scary place). I can't even imagine what rural KY looks like.
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post #10 of 20
8/15/07 at 5:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris O.
Shit, I live in the Midwest, and I still get creeped out driving through some of the backwoods areas here in Wisconsin. The first time I went to visit my dad after he moved to Durand, I got lost and ended up in Bloomer, WI (possibly Boomer, I can't remember). I saw one little ramshackle dwelling that I swear housed at least one inbred serial killer.
Try going down Route 70 here in NJ. There's some serious pockets of humanity dwelling in the woods out there. They only come out to scrape up roadkill ("It's damn good eatin'!"), to (ahem) take care of any interlopers ("Damn good eatin'!") or whenever Molly Hatchet plays at Great Adventure. It's like "Wrong Turn", only REAL, and there ain't no Eliza Dushku.

Family trees ain't forkin' is what I'm saying.
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post #11 of 20
8/15/07 at 5:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
Try going down Route 70 here in NJ. There's some serious pockets of humanity dwelling in the woods out there. They only come out to scrape up roadkill ("It's damn good eatin'!"), to (ahem) take care of any interlopers ("Damn good eatin'!") or whenever Molly Hatchet plays at Great Adventure. It's like "Wrong Turn", only REAL, and there ain't no Eliza Dushku.

Family trees ain't forkin' is what I'm saying.
You took the words right out of my mouth - I was just getting ready to bring up NJ. I was born and raised in Atlantic City, and let me tell you, some of the folks out in the Pine Barrens are the east coast version of "hillbillies." Tobacco spittin', pickups, hangin' around the gun shops. The works.

Also, I went to college in central Pennsylvania. Same deal - how half of those guys aren't named "Cletus" is beyond me. My first week at school, my roommate and I were walking down the street. You know how guys will "Wooo hooo!" or "Hey baby!" a woman in the street? A couple of rednecks in a pickup truck drove by and "Yeee HAWWW!!"-ed us. As in Bo and Luke Duke taking off in the General Lee "Yeee HAWW!" She and I just looked at each other and went, "Did we just get 'Yee Hawww'ed?'"

I think that no matter what state you're from, there are "Hillbilly Pockets" (not to be confused with Hot Pockets - although as Timothy pointed out, "Damn good eatin!") to be found everywhere. So don't feel bad, Amphibatron, it's definitely not just the south.
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post #12 of 20
8/15/07 at 5:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson
You need to get the hell out of Eastern Kentucky.
He will, once he gets the duct tape off his head.

I wonder if you attached the free end of the tape to the General Lee's bumper and sped off, would the DTR spin like a top?

And that pic of the DTR is Avatar fodder if there ever was one.
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post #13 of 20
8/15/07 at 5:52pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector
And that pic of the DTR is Avatar fodder if there ever was one.
You're right.
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post #14 of 20
8/15/07 at 6:39pm
That really is a great avatar - kudos!
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post #15 of 20
8/15/07 at 10:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
That really is a great avatar - kudos!
Yep...the Duct Tape Robber (or DTR) looks like Hannibal Lecter's backwoods cousin, Cletus Lecter.

"I once had a revineuer question me. I ate his liver with some grits and a bottle of 'shine. Ftftftftft....yee haw!"
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post #16 of 20
8/15/07 at 11:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector
Yep...the Duct Tape Robber (or DTR) looks like Hannibal Lecter's backwoods cousin, Cletus Lecter.

"I once had a revineuer question me. I ate his liver with some grits and a bottle of 'shine. Ftftftftft....yee haw!"
Damn...."You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Dr Vivisector again."

I would totally give you another little green box with a big bow on top for that one, my friend. I just sat here and snorted and laughed for a solid minute.
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post #17 of 20
8/15/07 at 11:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
Damn...."You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Dr Vivisector again."

I would totally give you another little green box with a big bow on top for that one, my friend. I just sat here and snorted and laughed for a solid minute.
One must always know his audience. Thank yew.
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post #18 of 20
8/16/07 at 12:26am
This story made it to our News last night.
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post #19 of 20
8/16/07 at 3:29pm
this types a shit happens e-vur-ee day
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post #20 of 20
8/17/07 at 9:51am

Update with video!

http://www.neatorama.com/2007/08/14/duct-tape-robber/

I really hope this guy ends up on Cops......
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Of All The Things To Put My Little Hometown In The Spotlight,...