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Man with world's largest hand goes for surgery - Page 2

post #51 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:04pm
To the police, he's known by the more fanciful sobriquet, "The Pattycake Killer".
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post #52 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:04pm
That guy's dick must have shriveled up in fear long ago.
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post #53 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:07pm
His fingernails were getting a little long, so he went out and bought a Toro.
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post #54 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:07pm
He shoplifted a home.
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post #55 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:07pm
He has a new job as a hand-model for these...

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post #56 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:08pm
Replacing his old job as a hand model for these:

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post #57 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:08pm
By day he's a timid news reporter, by night he crawls the ocean deep to feed on clam.
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post #58 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:09pm
Let's hope that guy never watches Grease. I shudder to think of the death toll should he ever get the urge to "Hand Jive."
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post #59 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:10pm
The Shocker: Two in the pink, one in the torso.
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post #60 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:10pm
He made 'Jazz Hands' at a bar in New Orleans once.

Only once.
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post #61 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:12pm
When he cracks his knuckles, buildings crumble.

edit: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Joe LeFors again.
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post #62 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:13pm
His cock: Thank GOD he's right handed.
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post #63 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:14pm
When is a petting zoo the same as an abattoir?

When this guy shows up.
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post #64 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:15pm
He's like a human atlas, he knows everywhere like the back of his hand.
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post #65 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:15pm
Finger food:

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post #66 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:16pm
He worked as a waiter and could balance *everyone's* trays at once.
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post #67 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:16pm
This guy resurrected Elektra.
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post #68 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:16pm
I loved him on TV.

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post #69 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:17pm
His hand was the stunt double when they needed a shot of King Kong holding Fay Wray in his palm.
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post #70 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:17pm
Whenever he points out directions to someone, they always end up on Jupiter.
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post #71 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
This guy resurrected Elektra.
...and beat the hell out of Wolverine.
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post #72 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:18pm
The mob employed this guy as an enforcer; every bongo store in town paid up after that.
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post #73 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:19pm
When he says "talk to the hand", YELL, muthafucka.
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post #74 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:20pm
Him fisting is defined as genocide by the International Criminal Court.
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post #75 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:20pm
All together now:

He's got the whollllle world in his hand!
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post #76 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:21pm
"NO WANNA PLAY PATTYCAKE WITH DADDY!! NOOOO!!!"

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post #77 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:21pm
He went to Saturn to get fitted for a wedding band.
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post #78 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:23pm
He finger-painted Arizona.
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post #79 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:23pm
He needed Magellan to help him put on his watch.
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post #80 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors
He failed the shit out of his high school typing class.
As did everyone within 30 feet of him.
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post #81 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:24pm
He shoplifted every department at Target all at the same time.
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post #82 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:24pm
He used to work as a traffic cop in Tokyo......all of Tokyo.
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post #83 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:26pm
His dream of working at a school for the deaf was crushed...along with all the students.
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post #84 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:28pm
He has a bizarre physical deformity.
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post #85 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:29pm
If your plane crashes in the Andes, you want this guy to be on the flight.
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post #86 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:30pm
This guy's nose: "OH SWEET MERCIFUL GOD NOT AGAIN! NOOOOOOOO!"
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post #87 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:31pm
That guys hand has its own hand.
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post #88 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:31pm
King Kong joke part 2:

He picked up Kong and carried him to the top of the Empire State Building. The giant ape was terrified.
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post #89 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:32pm
"All hands on deck!" shouted the bos'un.

And then the Titanic sank.
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post #90 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:33pm
Superman is insanely jealous that he needs two hands to lift a truck.

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post #91 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:33pm
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give a man a gigantic mutant hand and teach him to reach in the ocean and grab a whale, feed him for life.
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post #92 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:33pm
Amazingly, he's ambidextrous.
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post #93 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:35pm
His knuckleball is classified as a weapon of mass destruction.
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post #94 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:35pm
He LOVES driving stick shift.
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post #95 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:35pm
He beats a Royal Flush.
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post #96 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:35pm
PRAY he doesn't give you a reacharound.
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post #97 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:36pm
He's a great guy to have hitchhiking with you. Until you both try to get in the car and you can't fit. Because his hand is so large.
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post #98 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:36pm
He can go to a Muslim country and steal anything he wants without fear of traditional punishment.
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post #99 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:37pm
He once had a bird in his hand and grabbed the two in the bush.
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post #100 of 192
8/24/07 at 4:37pm
His favorite childhood toy was Mr. Potatohand.

(Okay, I'm totally going to hell for that one.)
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