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post #151 of 229

A movie that, in a way that's not dissimilar to JCVD, stars Bjorn Ulvaeus from ABBA playing himself over the course of one day in July as he battles tax problems, angry confrontations with the public and eventually a group of insane ABBA fans who take him hostage and force him to sing "Dancing Queen" repeatedly.

 

BJORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.

post #152 of 229

In a world where the police forces are made up of T-Rex's comes:

 

NYPT-REX

 

Directed by Len Wiseman

post #153 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by McIrish View Post

In a world where the police forces are made up of T-Rex's comes:

 

NYPT-REX

 

Directed by Len Wiseman


1000

post #154 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art Decade View Post


1000

 

Fuck you you handsome devil!

post #155 of 229

A short Swedish musician meets three dwarf-like singers and the group sets out for a dangerous adventure.

 

THE ABBIT: AN UNEXPECTED BJOURNEY.

post #156 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

A movie that, in a way that's not dissimilar to JCVD, stars Bjorn Ulvaeus from ABBA playing himself over the course of one day in July as he battles tax problems, angry confrontations with the public and eventually a group of insane ABBA fans who take him hostage and force him to sing "Dancing Queen" repeatedly.

 

BJORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.

 

I was hoping for a 90 minute screed where Bjorn directly addresses the camera and drinks a whole bottle of whiskey whilst railing against American economic and foreign policy.

post #157 of 229
A troubled surgeon is determined to force the life lessons he's learned from struggling through poverty to become a successful doctor. His family, friends and peers complain endlessly about minor trifles. The solution comes when he desperately tries to save a child's life near the train tracks, only to have his feet severed in a horrible accident. In recovery he forms a plan to transplant his detached feet onto the legs of everyone who deserves to be taught a lesson so they can: WALK A MILE, IN HIS SHOES!
post #158 of 229

This exchange from Karate Kid 3 deserves its own movie:

 

Terry Silver: I owe you, man.
John Kreese: You don't owe me anything.
Terry Silver: Oh bullshit. I don't owe you anything? What about Vietnam, huh? How many times did you save my ass?
John Kreese: I don't know. I lost count.

post #159 of 229

A group of centipedes are kidnapped and sewn together by a mad grasshopper with a German accent in order to form the figure of a man. Yes, it's..... THE CENTIPEDE HUMAN.

post #160 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

A group of centipedes are kidnapped and sewn together by a mad grasshopper with a German accent in order to form the figure of a man. Yes, it's..... THE CENTIPEDE HUMAN.

 

Pixar should give you a call.  But you'll probably only get a call from Tim Burton.

post #161 of 229

A mysterious illness spreads across America, turning all those it infects into the actor Jude Law. As two friends (played by Karl Urban and Sylvester Stallone) realise that they are the last chance left for humanity, a home-made test reveals that one of them is infected - but which?

 

I Am The Law.

post #162 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

A mysterious illness spreads across America, turning all those it infects into the actor Jude Law. As two friends (played by Karl Urban and Sylvester Stallone) realise that they are the last chance left for humanity, a home-made test reveals that one of them is infected - but which?

 

I Am The Law.

 

This is like The Thing meets Contagion, and it needs to be made now.

post #163 of 229

In 1970's Suburbia a young teenager is chosen by the Gods of Olympus to be their Champion on Earth. Whenever young Billy Barton says "SHAZAM!" he transforms into Samuel L. Jackson.

post #164 of 229
This might be either great or terrible depending on your perspective, but I'd like to see a feature length Great Mouse Detective sequel - animated in the style of Eddie Campbell's sooty ink sketched Victorian England as seen in Alan Moore's From Hell.

I've got a fantasy voice cast to go with this movie, of course.
post #165 of 229

The war between man and machines is ending, humans have almost claimed there victory. The machines make there last stand and send a Terminator back in time to kill the human leader John Conner's ancestor...in the Dark Ages. Now a cyborg must fight sword and sorcerers to win victory for the machines. The machine goes on a rampage to kill Sarah of Conner, while learning the meaning of humanity and longing for a way back to the future. However, the wizard Merlin may hold the secret to unlocking time itself. 

 

 

post #166 of 229

Proving that the more things change the more they stay the same, this action comedy pits Thai villager Ting and his ne'er-do-well sidekick Dirty Balls being flung into the year 20X6 where they must continue to protect Ting's village, now a thriving neon technological metropolis, from being over run by alien horde marauders out for world domination and a nefarious cyborg (Komtuan's great-great-grandson) in a wheelchair / gundam-transformer suit.  It's muay thai versus mecha sci-fi insanity this summer with Tony Jaa in Prachya Pinkaew's ONG BAK TO THE FUTURE.  Also stars Petchtai Wongkamlao, Yanin "Jeeja" Vismistananda... and Nathan Jones as the alien horde.  


Edited by Engineer - 1/31/13 at 10:12am
post #167 of 229

Han Solo & Grendel: Witch Hunters

post #168 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post

Han Solo & Grendel Greedo: Witch Hunters

Fixed that for you.

post #169 of 229

My pitch for Pixar's next blockbuster: "Balloon Story"

 

Our adventure opens with a Randy Newman-scored montage of the preparations for a four year old's birthday party. A cloud of colourful party balloons is given pride of place in the living room, floating there bright, proud and splendid. Soon the children arrive in a bustle of excitement, and each is handed a balloon on a string to carry with them.

 

After presents have been opened and cake has been eaten, it's playtime. The children rowdily chase each other around the room with balloons in hand - the very picture of childish joy and innocent delight! But one child falls on their balloon, bursting it with a shocking bang. The children start to cry. The fun times have ended. The parents take the children to another room to console them. Left quietly alone, the secretly sentient balloons open their eyes and float over hesitantly to investigate the deflated corpse of their fallen comrade. Their first encounter... with mortality.

 

We cut to two days later. The balloons sit in the corner by the dusty, empty present boxes and loose scraps of wrapping. Long since abandoned by the fickle children, their buoyancy has already started to weaken. Bereft of purpose, the balloons begin to dwell on the nature of their existence. What is this air that surrounds them? Is it the same as the air within them? What god of wind blew life into their rubbery bodies?

 

Four days later, there is a fateful encounter with their arch nemesis, the family cat. The largest and proudest of the balloons was still fully inflated, a veteran of skirmishes with the beast. But for all his confidence he little realised his skin had grown so very fragile with time. A stray claw brings swift oblivion. In the aftermath the mourning balloons continue to ponder: is the essence of a balloon in the rubbery skin, or the air within? Upon bursting is there nothing left but a empty shell, or do they become one with the very atmosphere from whence they were inflated?

 

It is now a week later. The few remaining balloons are now small and withered. Their once-taut skin wrinkled, the air inside too thin even to lift them from the ground. The family has set a photo from the birthday party on the wall, children wielding the balloons in their glorious prime. To some of them this a heartening monument to a life well lived, to others only a cruel, mocking reminder of what was lost.

 

Every balloon deals with the inevitable in its own way. Spotting a discarded pin on the ground, one casts himself upon the spike in a bid to wrestle back some control over his final destiny. Others comfort themselves with the idea that upon finally exiting their earthly vessels, their souls will rejoin the mighty wind and live forever in paradise. Still others find peace through a philosophical acceptance of the nature of existence, and a bittersweet appreciation of the preciousness of each moment and the transitive nature of all things.

 

Some time later, the parents pick up the balloons and throw them in the bin with the rest of the junk. Radiohead's Exit Music For A Film plays us out as the end credits roll:

 

FIN


Written and directed by Michael Haneke.

post #170 of 229

In order to raise enough money to achieve their dream of opening a yoga studio two friends enter a city-wide yoga competition.  During the competition they find themselves pitted against a rival gang of street yoga practitioners led by their ruthless leader Wade "Neti-neti" Vick who is known for leaving his rivals folded into knots. 

Yoga got Served

post #171 of 229

A prequel-sequel-sidequel to Alejandro Amenabar's Oscar-winning THE SEA INSIDE. This time Ramon Sampero (played by Javier Bardem) doesn't choose to end his life after 30 years of being paralysed from the neck down. Instead he chooses another coping method: revenge. Sampero sets out to find and destroy the rock he dove into and that paralysed him, by training for the ultimate jump. This time it will be the rock that gets damaged.

 

A GOOD DAY TO DIVE HARD

post #172 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virtanen View Post

A prequel-sequel-sidequel to Alejandro Amenabar's Oscar-winning THE SEA INSIDE. This time Ramon Sampero (played by Javier Bardem) doesn't choose to end his life after 30 years of being paralysed from the neck down. Instead he chooses another coping method: revenge. Sampero sets out to find and destroy the rock he dove into and that paralysed him, by training for the ultimate jump. This time it will be the rock that gets damaged.

 

A GOOD DAY TO DIVE HARD


i like it, but it needs to crossover with "The diving bell and the Butterfly" to maximize franchise potential

post #173 of 229

So what you're talking about is a ROCKY IV-esque battle of two immobilised dudes. Kind of like WARRIOR with quadriplegics. I love this. Which is it, LIVE FREE OR DIVE HARD or DIVE HARD WITH A VENGEANGE?

post #174 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul C View Post

My pitch for Pixar's next blockbuster: "Balloon Story"

 

Our adventure opens with a Randy Newman-scored montage of the preparations for a four year old's birthday party. A cloud of colourful party balloons is given pride of place in the living room, floating there bright, proud and splendid. Soon the children arrive in a bustle of excitement, and each is handed a balloon on a string to carry with them.

 

After presents have been opened and cake has been eaten, it's playtime. The children rowdily chase each other around the room with balloons in hand - the very picture of childish joy and innocent delight! But one child falls on their balloon, bursting it with a shocking bang. The children start to cry. The fun times have ended. The parents take the children to another room to console them. Left quietly alone, the secretly sentient balloons open their eyes and float over hesitantly to investigate the deflated corpse of their fallen comrade. Their first encounter... with mortality.

 

We cut to two days later. The balloons sit in the corner by the dusty, empty present boxes and loose scraps of wrapping. Long since abandoned by the fickle children, their buoyancy has already started to weaken. Bereft of purpose, the balloons begin to dwell on the nature of their existence. What is this air that surrounds them? Is it the same as the air within them? What god of wind blew life into their rubbery bodies?

 

Four days later, there is a fateful encounter with their arch nemesis, the family cat. The largest and proudest of the balloons was still fully inflated, a veteran of skirmishes with the beast. But for all his confidence he little realised his skin had grown so very fragile with time. A stray claw brings swift oblivion. In the aftermath the mourning balloons continue to ponder: is the essence of a balloon in the rubbery skin, or the air within? Upon bursting is there nothing left but a empty shell, or do they become one with the very atmosphere from whence they were inflated?

 

It is now a week later. The few remaining balloons are now small and withered. Their once-taut skin wrinkled, the air inside too thin even to lift them from the ground. The family has set a photo from the birthday party on the wall, children wielding the balloons in their glorious prime. To some of them this a heartening monument to a life well lived, to others only a cruel, mocking reminder of what was lost.

 

Every balloon deals with the inevitable in its own way. Spotting a discarded pin on the ground, one casts himself upon the spike in a bid to wrestle back some control over his final destiny. Others comfort themselves with the idea that upon finally exiting their earthly vessels, their souls will rejoin the mighty wind and live forever in paradise. Still others find peace through a philosophical acceptance of the nature of existence, and a bittersweet appreciation of the preciousness of each moment and the transitive nature of all things.

 

Some time later, the parents pick up the balloons and throw them in the bin with the rest of the junk. Radiohead's Exit Music For A Film plays us out as the end credits roll:

 

FIN


Written and directed by Michael Haneke.

Genius

post #175 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virtanen View Post

So what you're talking about is a ROCKY IV-esque battle of two immobilised dudes. Kind of like WARRIOR with quadriplegics. I love this. Which is it, LIVE FREE OR DIVE HARD or DIVE HARD WITH A VENGEANGE?

 

How about DIVE HARDER OR LIVE INSIDE

 

The tagline would be "Float like a Butterfly...or sink like a Crip"

 

....Im getting a special place in the pits of hell for this, aint I?

post #176 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virtanen View Post

So what you're talking about is a ROCKY IV-esque battle of two immobilised dudes. Kind of like WARRIOR with quadriplegics. I love this. Which is it, LIVE FREE OR DIVE HARD or DIVE HARD WITH A VENGEANGE?

 

How about DIVE HARDER OR LIVE INSIDE

 

The tagline would be "Float like a Butterfly...or sink like a Crip"

 

....Im getting a special place in the pits of hell for this, aint I?

post #177 of 229
A ringtone maker living in a media police state begins to question everything when he wakes one morning to find himself hunted. He is now wanted for criminal piracy. Could it have been because of the mysterious work order he got the night before from a customer named X-6?
What was in that audio file? Could he now be involved in some sort of political conspiracy?

Johnny Mnemonic meets Freejack in this tale of one man's fight against the system. Be there!
post #178 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post

 

How about DIVE HARDER OR LIVE INSIDE

 

The tagline would be "Float like a Butterfly...or sink like a Crip"

 

....Im getting a special place in the pits of hell for this, aint I?

 

Their fight should be with giant eye-controlled robotic wheelchairs. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. THE PACIFIC CRIP. "Blink on this, motherfucker!"

 

Call me if you have trouble finding me in hell.

post #179 of 229
/way House

("Halfway House")

Starring two time oscar winner Hilary Swank as a courageous white lady who leaves her prestigious law practice to run a halfway house she unexpectedly inherited from her estranged father. If she doesn't get the halfway house up to code, the city will sell the land to developers. Gabourey Sidibe is the sassy black girl who teaches her to believe in herself. Directed by Tom Hooper.
post #180 of 229

Sounds like the perfect project for Anne Halfaway.

post #181 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomTastic View Post

Sounds like the perfect project for Anne Halfaway.

I think that word play is actually what planted the idea in my mind earlier today.
post #182 of 229
Ian McDiarmid's pope steps down under a cloud of scandal.

A newbie BBC reporter on the Vatican beat is the only one who doesn't believe the official story (abuse scandals forced him to step down) and he undergoes a frightening and insideous journey into the heart of Vatican city and Rome's souless underbelly where he's forced to confront abominable and blasphemous conspiracies bent on ushering an obscene terror into our world. At first he's told that the information the holy see is intent on hushing up is concrete evidence of the pope's active participation in nazi atrocities during the second world war. Soon though he begins to suspect a sinister deception - and if he was in fact being deceived, what truth could be so black and hideous that the church would rather people believe such devastatingly poisonous fabrications? It turns out the old pope is to be sacrificed in a blood ritual - found in a macabre and unholy text of unfathomably ancient origin, unearthed from the Pre Christian bowels of the vatican archives - in order to begin a new age at the hand of an all powerful being who may be the Antichrist, or perhaps something far older and more terrible than any living mind can conceive or imagine.

Alexandre Aja, director.
post #183 of 229

Now this I would see. But wouldn't it be even better if the protagonist isn't a reporter but the new pope, played by Christoph Waltz?

post #184 of 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virtanen View Post

Now this I would see. But wouldn't it be even better if the protagonist isn't a reporter but the new pope, played by Christoph Waltz?


That's a good idea too! I had Adrian Brody in mind for the role of the reporter though.

post #185 of 229

In the interest of grabbing a slice of the retro 80s market (Transformers, GI Joe), I have a Frankenstein creation of:

 

popular 80s toy + Wages of Fear + lotsa car crushing mayhem - 

 

 

 

STOMPER 4X4s: THE MOTION PICTURE

post #186 of 229

I'm bending the rules a little here but I'd be cool with him taking full credit for it.

 

Tyler Perry's Holy Shit

 

Morris Chestnut is Eric Shit, an alcoholic ex-minister who has lost his faith after the orphanage he runs is shut down. After he meets an abused but pious woman named Jessica, played by Janet Jackson, Eric learns religion is where it's at. The two fall in love, get married and adopt the 33 kids from the closed orphanage, leading to the sequel: Tyler Perry's What the Fuck Did I Just Get Myself Into?

post #187 of 229

Outspoken yet enigmatic video game creator Jonathan Blow's attempt to finish his latest genre (And release date) busting game goes badly wrong when his impenetrable, multi-storey studio is overtaken by a heavily armed gang of international thieves. Armed only with bare feet and an easily bruised ego, Blow has to take on the crooks and save the single copy of his demo. He has to be...

 

BLOW HARD

post #188 of 229

Searching for the Sugar Man

 

A movie set in Batista era Cuba about a down on his luck private eye - hired by a representative of an American agricultural company - who is sent to investigate communist rebels suspected of burning sugar cane crops. His investigations take a sinister turn when he learns of a mysterious figure known as the 'Sugar Man' seen in the cane fields at the time of their burning. Sugar Man turns out to be a vengeful supernatural figure, perhaps a god, worshiped (with blood sacrifice? perhaps a holdover deity from Cuba's pre columbian history?) and feared in equal measure by the impoverished Cubans working on the plantations.

post #189 of 229

Moneyball sequel where Brad Pitt helps a struggling basketball team and learns a valuable lesson about life on the streets.

 

Title: Money Baller

post #190 of 229

In 2015, humanity dies on the vine:

 

Twentieth Century Fox Presents Planet of the Grapes.

 

"Get your stinkin' paws of me you damn dirty grape!"

post #191 of 229

Then, at some point, they'll release a prequel:

 

Ripe Of The Planet Of The Grapes

post #192 of 229

All hell breaks loose in the sequel, Battle for the Planet of the Grapes. It'll be a 90 minute juicebath.

 

"Come on you grapes, you wanna live forever?"

post #193 of 229
A group of eco-terrorists storm the site of an experimental nuclear reactor in New Zealand, threatening to melt down the core, which would be disastrous for the polar opposite point in Sweden. One of the hostages, a brilliant physicist, hatches a plan to stop them but soon begins to see things their way and shows them how to crank the thing up to 11.

The Stockholm Syndrome

Directed by Stellan Skarsgård and starring Peter Sarsgaard
post #194 of 229

WORLD WAR Y

 

In this stunning prequel to the record-smashing Box Office-taking zombie movie, we meet Gerry Lane in the twenty-four hours before that fateful drive into a zombiepocalypse. See Gerry reading on the sofa! Learn his wife's favorite television show! Finally discover what his childrens' names are! You'll be blown away! You'll be mesmorized! Yes, it's World War Y!

 

In selected theaters only.

post #195 of 229
Mike Myers, desperate for money decides to go the faustian route to get his next film off the ground.

It's Austin Powers In:

Shag Me To HELL
Edited by Tim K - 9/1/13 at 11:41pm
post #196 of 229
I want a super spooky, unsettling telling of the Amanda Knox story - by way of Ninth Gate and Eyes Wide Shut - a telling of the tale based on the outlandish hypotheses put forward by the Italian police during the trial.
post #197 of 229

This is more of a movie or tv idea. But I want a Quantum Leap reboot/sequel series. 

 

post #198 of 229

SLUMDOG BILLIONAIRE: JAIHO OR DIE TRYING

 

Epic followup to the 2008 smash hit. Dev Patel is living the life of the 1%: a premier member of the Mumbai supercar club, a harem of model girlfriends and his own private skyscraper. Sort of Entourage meets Citizen Kane by way of Passage to India.

post #199 of 229

NEW COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.

 

Tommy Lee Jones is rounded up along with the rest of the world's senior citizens and banished to the North Pole, in a futuristic population control measure. Only Tommy Lee Jones has enough grit and tenacity to stop this plan going forward. 

post #200 of 229

This is my terrible TV show idea. At the finale of this season's Supernatural, Dean gets sent to a parallel universe: The Buffy verse. He soon runs into Buffy and they become an evil fighting duo who constantly argue. Of course they fall in love. The second season of Buffynatural has Angel and Spike meeting Dean at times and not being able to stand him.

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