Dumping or falling for people based on taste in movies - Page 3

In my experience, common interests and tastes matter very little.

One of my first girlfriends and I had alot in common, in interests, tastes, goals and when she was with me she was really sweet and affectionate and she had a knack for picking out neato indie films at Blockbuster...but she was always rude and bitchy to everyone else, her moral radar was pretty fucked up, she was possessive, and she'd argue with me for no fucking reason whatsoever. It was miserable.

This other girl I dated, we had NOTHING IN COMMON. She tried to take me to go see John Tucker Must Die. Yeah, I put my foot down on that. She made me come over to her house and watch Lake House. Luckily that night we got it on so I guess it was worth it. She liked country-ish pop music, her favorite color was like grey or something. She hates dogs. I went and got a fantastic peanut butter fudge ice cream shake, out of the 30 choices there, she picked plain chocolate. She had no appreciation for art. She was freakishly indecisive. Yet for some reason, she was great to talk to, very nice and very sweet, she was affectionate and caring and she had near perfect breasts. I had every reason not to like her but I felt such a connection to her. We were pretty happy. She ended up going off to marry her best friend whose been in luurve with her for years...and that makes sense because I don't have shit in common with him either.

This other girl I dated, our movie tastes are exact and we've had tremendous fun seeing them together. Her music tastes could be pulled from a 16 yr old's but I guess I can forgive her for that. She's witty and funny. I'm actually laughing at a girl's jokes. It was weird. She wasn't GREAT looking, but she was decent enough and her personality was phenomenal....but....she had some serious ass social anxiety problems and is deathly shy. So it was hard to even figure out if she was willing to even let you hold her hand or if she even liked you that way. It was a constant guess and check and it was annoying. Also she'd get anti-social and I swear she didn't see me for a whole month and gave me bullshit excuses. She's unreliable in that aspect. She was also sort've shallow in what she's looking for in the opposite sex (she was looking for 18 yr old scenesters...she's 20, I'm 21). So I gave up on that.

My latest girlfriend, we have little in common interests. She's into sewing and fabrics and I'm not really. She's into re-enacting the mid 1800s and though I'm interested in it, I'm no re-enactor. The movies we have both seen though, we've had similar tastes and opinions on them. Case in point, she wanted to see 28 Weeks Later because she loved 28 Days Later, but we both thought it was fucking terrible. The last movie we saw was Hostel Part II at the dollar theatre because the only other thing out was the Simpsons movie and neither of us were interested enough in it to warrant 8bucks a pop. We both wanted to leave Hostel Part II after about the first hour because fucking NOTHING happened. Argue if you will but the only reason I didn't fall asleep was the needless nudity. However I can't get her to watch a movie I like because she thinks it's "Stupid or doesn't look interesting" like Knocked Up, High Fidelity, Grosse Point Blank, 300, Children of Men, some others, I've tried to get her see The Fountain and she's interested but she just never got around to it. However she gets me to see all her movies and I always seem to love them, so I can't say her taste sucks because it doesn't. Musically, she's stuck in the 90s because none of the modern music has appealed to her...which I can understand and at least she picked good 90s music. She also likes the guy who does the music for M. Night Shyamalan's movies, and those are usually the best parts about them. So my only complaint is that she should try something NEW once in awhile, try some risk, experience new things! All this and she always says "We have no common interests" "You haven't experience enough of the world" *shrug* We get along pretty well with each other, except when she's irritated or just in a bad mood...then it's like working with a stubborn little girl. You try to be positive and she's like a wet blanket sucking all the positive energy out of the room. Then you bring up the fact that she IS acting immature and she puts it on you like YOU are just being crazy. She RETCONS the truth....I swear, just to fit her argument and if she knows she's wrong...she changes the subject. "Do you have to be so bitchy today?" "I'm not!" "But you just said like an hour ago that the heat makes you bitchy?" "Hey look, mexicans!" Though this seems like it would annoy me...it DOES, but it's also really inventive and strangely adorable. At her best, she's pretty amazing and she's everything I've been looking for in a girl. She's a strange slightly hypocritical one though, but I do alot of crazy shit too so I can't say much.

So do tastes and common interests really matter? Nah...not particularly. I think I really got off topic.

Neither. It was a long distance relationship, and quite frankly, from all the way across the country, he was the best boyfriend on earth - on paper. As long as you weren't living together as a couple, he was great - always made sure to say the right thing, always was on his best behavior. I think, looking back, he just really wanted a girlfriend, and knew that he'd better be particularly nice or I would have no reason to not dump him.

Then came the "Lisa Fucks Up Her Life" portion of the story - in order for a long distance relationship to move forward, one you has to move. That "one of you" was me, the total chump. I moved for a brief six months out to California. And literally, within three days, he was like a totally differnt person. He was all over me to change everything about myself. Everything - turns out there was nothing about me that this wacko liked, or loved, he was pretty much on his best behavior the whole year we were long distance, and figured he could let his guard down once I moved all the way across the country for him. He was wrong. I was out there a total of six months - the first two months he was a jerk, but I was figuring, "Well, I'm adjusting to a new place, adjusting to homesickness, I need to let some of these comments roll off my back - for now - while I adjust to a whole new life." But he kept it up. The next two months, we were just alternately fighting all the time/working on the relationship/me avoiding him like the plague till I finally said, "That's it, I'm going home to NY." The last month and a half, although we were no longer a couple, I was actually stuck there waiting for an apartment in NY to open (which it did, I just had to stick it out), and to give them notice at work, plus train my replacement. And yes, I was still living with him those final few weeks - I slept very comfortably on the sofa. And if you think you'd never see someone kiss the tarmac out at JFK airport, you didn't see me the day I flew home.

Lesson learned? Never ever EVER leave NY again. And never date outside the 212/718 area code. It's much easier to break up by subway than by Jet Blue.

And never move in with someone called Ahab.

My wife loves any movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. in it. While I could say its awful, I just find it extremely funny... as long as I don't have to watch these movies with her.

I love Tom Waits, and even I think Real Gone is pretty terrible.

But you recognize the glory that is Bone Machine, right?

Of course. Swordfishtrombones, Rain Dogs, and Bone Machine are the holy trinity of Waits, with Frank's Wild Years and Mule Variations not far behind.

Depeche Mode wrote a song about me called "Personal Dellamorte."

So many navels in this thread.

Or if you can't afford a real doll they sell just a rubber pussy. You can get ones that you plug into a wall and they vibrate or you can buy the regular kind that doesn't vibrate.

The point being that if you are so clueless about women that you take your problems to the message boards of a movie website that deals primarily with genre entertainment... maybe you shouldn't bother women with your shit and you should just fuck inanimate objects or women who don't give a shit what you think and feel because you are paying them to be there.

Just think about it, Gary.

I mean its what I do.

I think for me it's equally important to have shared interests and an emotional connection.

I guess emotions and stuff are probably more important, but goddamn it art is my life! How can I sustain a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn't get my favourite movies, music, books...? It would kill me inside!

I have no idea what we'd talk about... the weather? The news?

My last boyfriend was a perfect 10 as far as common interests were concerned, we had a lot of fun showing each other new stuff and loving the shit out of it, but he was 27 and he had the emotional maturity of a goldfish.

I lent him Choke by Chuck Palahniuk and we had a lot of deep talks on acid, then he broke up with me a week later saying that through going out with me he realized he is a sexually dysfunctional sex addict and he needs to fix himself somehow before he can have a meaningful relationship with anyone.

So, my conclusion here is that shared interests are important, but personality, maturity, and sexual compatibility are probably more important.