CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Sex › I Am Crushed
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I Am Crushed

post #1 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:14pm
Thread Starter 
This is a dark day, maybe the darkest in recent memory. Lately I've fallen on hard time, and I've been busy with a lot in my life, and then I'm hit with this bombshell... Belladonna is no longer performing onscreen sex scenes.

"And that is why I am telling you all of this today. I will no longer be performing with other people. I'll still be doing solo scenes for extras on my movies and also directing, dancing and signings. This is really a big decision for me and it hurts me in some ways, but the way I look at... it's time to let me body relax. I just don't want to risk getting Herpes all over my body, or in my eyes, or genital warts or even HIV Don't worry, I'm not leaving the business, I'm just not going to be performing in front of the camera anymore. I know that is why a lot of you are my fans, but I hope you continue to be a fan of my work directing and behind the camera in the years to come."


I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. There is no darkness that can prepare a man for the swollen void that life becomes now. Pray for my soul, CHUD. Pray.
Reply
post #2 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:16pm
Please leave again.
Reply
post #3 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:16pm
At least he's got a schtick and sticks with it, I suppose.
Reply
post #4 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:22pm
True, but so did Stalin.
Reply
post #5 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:24pm
OH THE TRAGEDIES THE WORLD WILL KNOW WHEN BELLADONNA NO LONGER HAS TWO SHEMALE COCKS IN HER BUTT lol
Reply
post #6 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:27pm
I blame you, 'Attn: Men' thread.
Reply
post #7 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:27pm
Please don't chase Fabfunk (miyagi, witches brew, etc.) away. They are what makes the CHUD boards entertaining.

Though really, Fabfunk, this thread is a bit disappointing so far.
Reply
post #8 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors
True, but so did Stalin.
Yeah, I suppose fabfunk is sort of the creepy Stalin of porn star news.
Reply
post #9 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:29pm
I was really hoping he would've died of AIDS by now, but that would imply anything would ever want to fuck him.
Reply
post #10 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:30pm
Stalin had a better mustache.
Reply
post #11 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:33pm
Reply
post #12 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:34pm
fabfunk, you're a fucking one trick pony.
Reply
post #13 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neal
fabfunk, you're fucking a one trick pony.
Corrected.
Reply
post #14 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:36pm
No, he's a trick pony fucker.
Reply
post #15 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:38pm
Word to the wise, trying to capitalize on your reputation as a skeezy fucking piece of shit doesn't make you any less of a skeezy fucking piece of shit.
Reply
post #16 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:39pm
I don't know what's more disturbing: the whole necrophilia deal or the double-fisting of what appears to be Smirnoff Ice.
Reply
post #17 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:42pm
In the interest of full disclosure, there WAS a girl in the full, uncropped photograph. Most likely post Rohypnol.
Reply
post #18 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:44pm
Thread Starter 
I don't think any of you understand... seeing a Belladonna film is like a religious experience. No pornography is ever the same without her. It's a sad sad day. I can see how some of you would find this somewhat humorous, or offensive or something- but the rest of you, well, c'mon, you like porn. Don't lie about this. Perhaps you should see a Bella performance before you say anything. I mean, for some sort of reference's sake, Belladonna is to porn what Orson Welles was to cinema.
Reply
post #19 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:46pm
And you're to CHUD what herpes is to us.
Reply
post #20 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:48pm
I don't think Fab understands that it's not even the content of his posts that's irritating, it's his presence.
Reply
post #21 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:50pm
This is the part where fabfunk tries to feign cleverness by pretending to overplay how he feels about porn. New Chewers, don't be fooled. What you're looking at here really is something this pathetic, this emotionally vile, and with this much of a seething, just beneath the surface hatred of women that he follows and lionizes the systematic degradation of them for his own lonely, weeping pleasure.

Gaze at it, ye who have not seen it before. Look upon it and know that fabfunk is not acting. He is not pretending. He is not playing for laughs. He really is this much of a disgusting amalgamation of bones and hair. This is his life, it's all he has.
Reply
post #22 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:52pm
Thread Starter 
Brad said that to himself out loud as he typed it.
Reply
post #23 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
I mean, for some sort of reference's sake, Belladonna is to porn what Orson Welles was to cinema.
Orson Welles never rammed Rosebud up his ass (at least, not that I'm aware of).
Reply
post #24 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:53pm
::cowers in fear::

Oh, wait.

::neg reps, then cowers in fear::
Reply
post #25 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:53pm
It's good to see that the Fabwatch is still very active.
Reply
post #26 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:54pm
Thread Starter 
I still don't get this little-man neg rep system.
Reply
post #27 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:56pm
fabfunk, did you neg rep me with the following comment: "If you do your research, you'd know there really is no actual 'necrophilia' deal."

Neg reps can hurt, friend, I'd expect you of all people to recognize this.
Reply
post #28 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:57pm
You're a virus, and Neg-Rep is the cure.
Reply
post #29 of 85
8/30/07 at 4:59pm
Please ban.
Reply
post #30 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:00pm
I think this comeback is the start of Fabfunk's viral marketing for MAKEOUT PARTY '08.
Reply
post #31 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:00pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli
fabfunk, did you neg rep me with the following comment: "If you do your research, you'd know there really is no actual 'necrophilia' deal."
I understand people joking about necrophilia, but some of you seem to take it seriously, as if I ever wanted to fool around with the dead. Which, you know, was a fucking backwards retarded assumption by most of the people here who made it. I got it, it was funny, I laughed, others laughed, and that was that.

If this thread is going to go off-topic into a "none of us like you" vein, and remain unfunny, it probably should be closed.

Also, Brad, knock it off about my looks- you're one ugly fucker.
Reply
post #32 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
If this thread is going to go off-topic into a "none of us like you" vein, and remain unfunny, it probably should be closed.
We all agree on something! Now leave. For reals.
Reply
post #33 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:08pm
Gabe, are you still under the impression that people were all laughing with you, and not at you? You really are a fucking dumb piece of shit.
Reply
post #34 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
Gabe, are you still under the impression that people were all laughing with you, and not at you? You really are a fucking dumb piece of shit.
When did I say that? I said that I humored the jokes for awhile. Now there's this bullshit somber attitude, as if people whisper, "Ooh, there's the guy that fucks the dead." Brad, don't be a tiny person.
Reply
post #35 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:13pm
Fucking leave.
Reply
post #36 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:15pm
Thread Starter 
I should've known better than to enter Brad Millette's Sex Forum!!!

Seriously, when have you ever entered this forum to discuss anything other than your own demented message board prose?
Reply
post #37 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rep from Fabfunk
Yuck? Because I watch pornography? Get a grip, Hester Prynne.*
No, honey. "Yuck" because you have a weirdly pronounced attachment to porn.

Hester Prynne was an awesome, sex-positive woman who fucked a minister, had a baby, and stood up to an entire community who tried to make her ashamed of what she had done. She was not Demi Moore masturbating, I believe, in a bathtub. Either read the damn book or just make it easier on yourself and call me a Puritan, as I'm fairly certain that's what you were trying to do.




* - When I neg-repped him, my accompanying comment was "Yuck. Just yuck."
Reply
post #38 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:18pm
Thread Starter 
I was hoping you would get what I was doing. Glad you felt the need to post what is essentially a PM on the boards. Whatevs.
Reply
post #39 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:20pm
I hear AICN needs more poorly written scoops!
Reply
post #40 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:26pm
How many crawdads could Belladonna fit into her ass, fab? How many if they were wearing little kimonos?
Reply
post #41 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:27pm
Wait... which thread am I in again?
Reply
post #42 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:29pm
I can't believe Belladonna fucking retired.
Reply
post #43 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
I can't believe Belladonna fucking retired.
Anthrax will never be the same without him.
Reply
post #44 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:39pm
As long as they've got Scott Ian, they'll be fine.
Reply
post #45 of 85
8/30/07 at 5:45pm
Fabfunk, you know DAMN WELL that no one enjoys your crappy threads about porn stars that have retired/died/decomposed on your couch. Which means this latest shitty abortion is a direct taunt to everyone here. Which means you're a troll. Which means you need to be sent to the fucking Phantom Zone.
Reply
post #46 of 85
8/30/07 at 6:24pm
I just knew I smelled something...
Reply
post #47 of 85
8/30/07 at 6:51pm
This thread has ruined porn for me for at least another 30 minutes.
Reply
post #48 of 85
8/30/07 at 7:11pm
It's okay, she left a pretty good back catalogue OHHHHHH! Thank you, I'll be here all week.
Reply
post #49 of 85
8/30/07 at 7:18pm
Jesus Christ, just shut the fuck up. Why would you continue to post on a board where everyone obviously hates you. Kill yourself and any siblings you might have. Seriously, it would be great. You could be with your dearly departed porn stars. How can you fucking stand yourself? To quote Russian parents "How can you not be ashamed?" Why do you even waste your time with this shit?
Reply
post #50 of 85
8/30/07 at 7:38pm
Man, this ignore function is a fucking god send.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Sex
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Sex › I Am Crushed