Cute Things Your Kids Say - Page 2

Another one -

When my niece was about four, we were all over at my Dad's house, and she was really tired, so she was in a fairly cranky mood. Just wandering around, alternately crying and scowling. So she wanders out the screen door onto the deck to mope out there. After a bit, she wanted to come back in, but as many little kids do when they're in a shitty mood, she wanted someone else to open the door for her, even though she could reach the handle perfectly well. So she stood there at the screen door, crying that she wanted to come in.

My sister says to her, "Well, are you going to come inside the house, or are you going to stand out there and cry?"

She pauses for just a second to think about it, and then says, "Stand out here and cry."

And thus "We hightailed it out of there before someone called DHS" becomes the newest internet catchphrase.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Slestak again.

My daughter says that all the time (especially when she yanks something away that you're trying to grab) and it stumps my wife and I. Where did she get that from?

My daughter uses the same joke, but says "Chicken Butt" instead.

She's been telling the joke "I lost my banana. I think it split." joke a lot lately. She's recently learned the magic of knock-knock jokes as well (and she doesn't tell them the same 2X in a row):

Cow who?
No, cows moo. Owls who.

Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke.

Sometimes she says "Knock knock" and says any random word after you reply "Who's there?". It cracks her up regardless. She definitely takes after me, as no one is more amused by my own jokes... than me.

EDIT: What's awesome= when we get into a tickle match or are making funny faces, we start giggling and don't stop till it hurts. My wife says that our daughter has the same infectious laugh that I do, so when we both start, it's hard to stop and often my wife can't help herself either (even when nothing funny happened). My daughter and I are a force to be reckoned with. It's nice at the end of a miserable day at work, to go home and hear "Daddy's home! Daddy's home! Daddy's home!... C'mon let's dance!"

Once I attempted the same joke with my daughter.

Slestak: "Knock knock!"

Monkey: "Who cares?"




Here's a pic from a couple of years ago. I promise she's not a zombie.

Well shoot, if this thing is just gonna devolve into posting posting pics of your adorable spawn, here's mine -




My son Tristan, three





My daughter Genevieve (Gen-Gen), two


And here's one of all three of us! (old) -

Holy shit, you've got the Kubrick glare. Run, kids!

No offense, but I immediately thought of a mental institution when I saw the photo of your daughter.
The white shirt, the tiles, the expression, the hair...

I'm sure she's awesome.

Wow, he does have a bit of the Kubrick eyes/eyebrows, I didn't notice.

This thread is all kinds of cute. I may barf a little, but still, it's all kinds of cute.

And props to Slestack for the new internet DHS meme!

Babysitting a friends 3 year old daughter, watching TV when she comes out of her room:

"I want a cookie!"

"Have you finished cleaning your room yet?"

"No!"

"Then you can't have a cookie until it's clean."

She stomps off into her room and starts picking up her toys, and returns a couple minutes later with her hands on her hips:

"You know, I'm not very happy with you right now..."

If I could give a positive rep to every single post in this thread I would. Easily one of the happiest, best threads I can recall. Thanks for starting my day off like this.

We've had a problem with my 4 year old son getting out of bed over and over and we were trying to crack down. We'd tuck him in and tell him that if he got out of bed he was going to be in big trouble (never said what the trouble was, just the vague "big trouble"). So I put him to bed and proceed to watch whatever I have on the DVR. He peeks his head around the corner and I immediately give him my angry face.

He quietly says "Daddy, I just needed to tell you something". He walks over to me and gets in his whisper position (he puts his ear against yours, he hasn't quite got that figured out yet) and in a very loud whisper says "I just wanted to tell you I love you".

Then he starts walking back to his room, and turns and looks at me with a big shit eating grin because he knew there was no way in hell I was going to get mad at him for getting out of bed any more.

New one to add from yesterday. My three year old was wearing his Spiderman costume and mask running around the house "slinging webs" and climbing shit. Out of nowhere comes this huge THUD, and he's crying like crazy. So I go in to check on him and he's laying on the floor holding his head and the curtains are laying on the floor next to him. He was climbing the curtains and the wooden curtain rod holder broke free from the ceiling. He ends up having to go to the ER to make sure no stitches are needed and because he's parents over-react at the site of a small bit of blood. After the ER I set him down and explained to him that that's why we tell him no climbing.

I ask him after our talk if he was going to climb anymore, and his response?

"Of course I am, I'm Spiderman silly." Then he shoots his imaginary "webs" at me and runs to play.

My 4 year old son has become an expert at mimicking my speech affectations as of late. It's becoming rather frightening.


Me: It's time for a Bath.

Son: I'm sorry...but I'm afraid that's just not an option.

Me: Well then, I think It's time for bed instead...

Son: Think again. Pretend you have an IQ this time.


Who I'm stuck verbally jousting with:

I think he's referring to the crazy glare that characters in Kubrick flicks tend to have (Jack in Shining, Private Pyle in FMJ, even Cruise in EWS). I could be wrong though...

Cute kids, but the expressions of all of them in the pics (especially Daddy) give me a Kubrick-vibe.
You don't have a hedge-maze in the backyard, Jesse The Mind? Do you?

Just reminded me... 2 weekends ago, my sister-in-law and 9 year old nephew came down to FL to visit us (from PA) and we go to Cocoa Beach. At the end of the day we wander a bit around the biggest Ron Jon's surf shop you've ever seen (2 stories and it's attached to a hotel). We're on the 2nd floor on the way to the elevator and we walk past racks upon racks of bikinis and women swimwear where my nephew says "They makes my weiner tickle..." My sis-in-law was appalled, but (as it was my duty as uncle), I laughed like crazy and offered a Hi-5.

I bet you can't wait for grade school. Prepare yourself for many parent-teacher conferences.

Atleast he'll be more articulate than the average "SHUT UP! Neener neener..." Problem Child.

He's logging plenty of "Naughty Chair" time in pre-school already, so I predict many a visit to the principal's office starting next year in kindergarten.

Mine pulls this routine almost every night.

One night, my wife was tucking my kid in bed and hugged her, gave her a kiss and hugged her again.

My daughter asked her, "Why did you hug me twice?"

My wife, sensing a very sweet, special parenting moment coming on, said, "Because I love you twice as much."

My daugther smiled at my wife and said, "I love to eat chicken nuggets at the lunch store!"

We hightailed it ... oh, wait, never mind ...

During preschool, I spent many a sit on the "Special Chair" for smacking Miss Maria on the ass (a habit I picked up watching my Dad give my Mom "love taps" on the rear).

Nowadays, I'd be sued and tried as an adult and sent up the Preschool river.

Zombie? No. Heath Ledger? Yes.

My college roommate's oldest niece recently learned how to say, "No thank you." But instead of just using it as a polite response to "Would you like some more applesauce, my dear?" she's using it as an all purpose "no." When her older brother tries to take her toys, she snatches them back and scolds, "No thank you!" When her mother wants to change her diaper or make her take a bath she wails "Noooo thaaaaank yoooou!" It's the cutest whining I've ever heard.

That sounds like something one of my older nieces did when she was a toddler. She had a cold, so she was on children's cough syrup, which was grape flavored so she'd like it. So I was babysitting her while she was still sick, and gave her some of the cough syrup. She wanted more, so she looked up at me and said, "Please", as she was taught to do if you want something. I said, "No, honey, this is medicine, you can only have a tiny bit right now." She gets this "What the hell?" look on her face and goes, "Please!" I said, "Sweetie, no. It's medicine, I know it tastes good, but it's not candy." With her final attempt, she looked down at the floor for a second with this look on her face like, "I have no FUCKING idea why this isn't working! I've got the manners, I'm saying 'please'!", and then she shrieked at me - "PLEASE!!!" No more for her, of course, but it was pretty funny - you could practically hear the wheels turning in her head trying to figure out why she wasn't getting more tasty grape stuff if she was asking politely. Her frustration level was off the charts.

I can't believe you people are breeding.............

Condoms break.

The Pull n' Pray method doesn't work so hot either...

Neither does the "Aww fuck it, what're the chances anyway.." method.

This is why the "snip snip" method is the best one, for both sexes.

Fuck all those methods, the Bradley Method birthing classes my wife and I were in had ten couples. Eight of those, including us, had beat the pill.

Ladies, if we learned anything from Knocked Up is that there is no such thing as a dick-skin condom.

Lately when my son's been upset with me (usually for telling him "no" about something), he runs to his mother and says:

Him: "Mom, I just don't love daddy anymore.

Mom: "Why not?"

Him: "Something knocked out the love-ness. I just don't love him anymore"

Gotta love that he repeats it just to make it sting some more.

My son tried something similar, so my wife just whipped him and then he kind of loved me again.

Whoo boy. You aren't lying when you say you start'em young. At least your son will have the best grasp of pre-WWI political theory of any kid in elementary school.

WWI? thought he was talking about WWII. The kid is well on his way to understanding brinkmanship and detante I tells ya.

Well, he was talking about WWII, but Realpolitik's most famous proponent is Otto Von Bismarck. So, uh...I'm not going to derail this thread any further. I'm enjoying it a lot.

Agreed. And now back to the cuteness.

Wait until Frank's kid starts relating appeasement and glasnost to his homework. It'll be like the goddamn UN at his house.

BTW, my kid when Britney Spears shows up on the news this morning...

"Mommy, did she lose her mind again?"

Here's another in the "and then someone called DHS" category.

Background: We have a Nintendo Wii. My son likes to play Wii Sports and to watch me flail all over the track in Excite Truck. He has an incredible eye for detail, so he even has comments on the color of the pointer "finger"/hand cursor on the Wii menu ("Daddy, why do you have the blue finger? Why do I have the red one?" 'Why' questions are never-ending at the moment).

This weekend, a couple of hours after one of our gaming sessions, he invented a new song, as he is wont to do, and sang this over and over at the top of his lungs:

"Put your finger/in the wii wii wii wii wii!
Put your finger/in the wii wii wii wii wii!"

A little off-topic, maybe, but the worst sound in the world, officially, is my 10-month-old daughter grinding her new top and bottom teeth together. Her mouth acts as a resonant cavity, or something, and the sound that results is incapacitating.

MY 8 month old son does the same thing, I swear if he's across the room I'll run over saying "Oh, baby, please stop that". It's like nails on a chalkboard.

Be careful the indoctrination you attempt with your children over your favorite sports team. I married into a University of South Carolina family that has a deep disdain for anything orange and purple(Clemson).

My father-in-law has my five year old one day and they go to the grocery store. Getting into his Little Rascal scooter is an elderly gentleman parked in a handicap space. My son points an accusatory finger at him and tells him in no uncertain words, "You are a loser!"

My father-in-law quickly assesses the situation and based on how the family has raised him on Saturday afternoons realizes he is referring to the Clemson hat the old man is wearing. He explains this to the man and offers an apology to which the man graciously shrugs it off and says, "It's OK."

Upon hearing the story my wife doesn't think first to chastise my son for being rude, no. Her first response is, "Well, he said 'It's OK' because he is used to Clemson being losers."

Then she follows my advice and explains to our son why he cannot say that in public.

My eldest niece just started pre-school and has this really nice enthusiasm for her work. The other week, I boarded the train to Chico to see them and she ran up to me with her Dora the Explorer backpack and insisted that we compare the contents of our bags.

So, she unpacked her addition and writing sets--apparently, they're teaching pre-schoolers math through weirdly entailed coloring exercises these days--and explained what they were. Then, she asked if she could look inside my backpack. I said she could and, with a little effort, she dragged out my copy of Locke's essay on human understanding. After flipping through a few pages, she looksed straight up at me and said: "There are no pictures."

I work in a video store (yes that's how much I suck in real life). The other day a lady was renting some movies with what I guess was a 5 or 6 year old son, he reaches up and grabs a brochure of upcoming releases, after a while he say "Aliens v's predator 2? *sigh* wasn't one enough?

Gave him a free lolipop.

Fascinating. In the Goonies discussion yesterday, it was intimated that children do not have taste. Clearly wrong.

You all have really great anecdotes. They are all helping get through the morning.

My wife and I are having some difficulties in trying to have children, so I kinda live vicariously through friends and relatives who have children.

I have two personal anecdotes that come to mind, both random children on two separate occasions that I happened to pass by in a public place.

The first one was a couple of years ago while I was making my way to the Wal-Mart entrance through the parking lot. As I was walking, this lady passes by me with her 5 year old son in the cart. The kid was staring straight ahead with the bewitched look in his eye chanting, "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor..." Needless to say, I walked into that Wal-Mart creeped the fuck out.

The second one is a bit sweeter. Anyone who has seen my pic in the Chewervision forum knows I'm a bit overweight with long hair and a beard, and that I bear a slight resemblance to Silent Bob (which I only do maybe two or three times a year at conventions, not all the time like some may think). Anyway, around Christmastime I have a tendancy to wear a Santa hat when I go out and about to get into the festive mood. A couple of Christmases ago I got stopped in the parking lot of a Target store by a little 5 or 6 year old girl asking me if I was Santa Claus. Her mom, embarrassed, apologized. I told her it was okay, kneeled down and told the little girl that I wasn't, but that I work for him and asked her if she had a message for me to pass on. She lit up and recited a brief list of things she wanted for Christmas. I told her I would pass that along and she thanked me and gave me a big hug. Her mom thanked me and we parted ways.

I really hope she got what she wanted that year, otherwise I'm probably number one on her "doo-doo head" list.

I don't have anything to add to the thread but I know how you feel Don. My wife had a lot of trouble getting pregnant and we had to do the whole fertility treatments thing. I can sympathize with you.
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