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The Ninja Burglar!

post #1 of 13
9/7/07 at 4:08pm
Thread Starter 
This is an awesome story. Click here for more.

An excerpt...


"Then, I see this guy dressed in a Halloween-like ninja outfit, with just his eyes peering out," said Chiolo. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing."

Almost immediately, the intruder lunged at Chiolo, whacking his left shoulder blade with nunchucks, leaving a huge black and blue welt.

"He hits me, and he hits me hard," he explained.

Chiolo spun around for cover, but the assailant hit him again with the weapon, this time leaving a knot in the back of his head.

"I think he was trying to knock me unconscious," he said.

As Chiolo fell forward onto the countertop, he grabbed a smooth-bladed steak knife, measuring about 6 inches in length, from a wooden knife block...
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post #2 of 13
9/7/07 at 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Most Awesome Article Ever
"The remarkable thing was that he did not display any physical pain," said Chiolo, adding that the attacker never uttered a word or sound. "And the handle went all the way down."
Of course not, it's a bad-ass ninja, what do you expect?


Quote:
Originally Posted by The Most Awesome Article Ever
"I would have thought that he would have sought medical attention by now," mused a veteran police source.
Again... Badassery, a skill that goes with Ninja like peanut butter and jelly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by The Most Awesome Article Ever
"A real ninja wouldn't have been stabbed," mused a poster named bozer.

Um... well... you got me there.
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post #3 of 13
9/7/07 at 4:25pm
Understandable that he can't exactly seek medical help if he's on the lam. But he'll probably have to change his name to "The Gangrene Ninja", which has a certain ring to it.
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post #4 of 13
9/7/07 at 5:07pm
Where the fuck are tom cruise and katsumoto when you need 'em?
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post #5 of 13
9/7/07 at 5:27pm
Now out of shape and half the ninja he used to be, Storm Shadow has fallen on hard times since Cobra was dismantled following the war on terror.
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post #6 of 13
9/7/07 at 5:34pm
To quote Sho Kosugi in the classic "Revenge of the Ninja", an indelible truism if ever there was one, "Only a Ninja can stop a ninja."
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post #7 of 13
9/7/07 at 6:01pm
This guy on Staten Island clearly trained with Uma in the House of the Blue Leaves.
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post #8 of 13
9/7/07 at 6:20pm
"He was still awake when his cat, Tippy, began growling, which he said is unusual."

I should say so.

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post #9 of 13
9/7/07 at 7:17pm
Quote:
"The remarkable thing was that he did not display any physical pain," said Chiolo, adding that the attacker never uttered a word or sound. "And the handle went all the way down."
Pain... does not exist it... in this dojo, does it?!

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post #10 of 13
9/7/07 at 7:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Bola
Pain... does not exist it... in this dojo, does it?!
NO, SENSEI!!
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post #11 of 13
9/7/07 at 9:49pm
Eric Roberts disagrees with you.

http://ericroberts.ytmnd.com/
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post #12 of 13
9/7/07 at 10:49pm
Man. Sho Kosugi has really fallen on hard times.
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post #13 of 13
9/8/07 at 5:44am
It could have been worse for the intruder, but he managed to stab another ninja in the chest and thus catch Liam Neeson off guard.
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