The Alton Brown Appreciation Thread

I watch Good Eats religiously and have used his wisdom to make some awesome pumpkin bread around the holidays, as well as just general knowledge used for everyday cooking.

Feasting On Asphalt just reminds me that I need to travel and hit up local cuisine.

I like the show, but there's no way I'd ever go through most of the efforts he does in order to cook a meal.

I started worshiping at the church of Alton about a year ago....But I was still lazy about cooking until 3 months ago when I got really sick and was told to stop eating junk food or die before I was 40.

I just did Tenderloins after watching Good Eats earlier this week....And his pretzel recipe is money(I make soft pretzel sticks filled with ham and cheese or with a crab and cheese stuffing)

Feasting on Asphalt is one of my favorite shows and has gotten me to go to local mom and pop joints before going to a franchise place to eat(on the few occassions that I actually go out to eat now).

I've been watching him for years. He's....goofy. And one of the best fucking educators of any sort that I've had the pleasure to watch. His stuff is consistently entertaining, as well as mouthwatering. And to watch him put it to the kids on the reality show "Next Food Network Star" is a thing of beauty. As personable as he is when he's in "Alton" mode, he's just not got much patience with the cooks that don't have a CLUE as to communicate or have any idea of why they're cooking what they're hoping to serve to impress someone. The Alton smackdowns were great fun to watch.

I haven't watched The Next Food Network Star, so I am not privy to his smackdowns.

As per what Jason stated, yeah, some of his recipes call for a load of patience that I just don't possess. I am not willing to spend ten days prepping a corn beef in a bag full of brine.

I got I'm Just Here For The Food for Xmas and its pretty great. He hooked up a hair dryer to a Weber and melted the grill.

Its not a cookbook, more like a textbook that uses only cooking and food as its subject.

Regarding Good Eats- I like his approach. Love the informational style, quite often dig the goofiness (even if it is occasionally annoying) but it certainly seems like if he cut back on some of the more unnecessary elements he could fit more actual recipes into the show.

I also like Feasting on Asphalt, but he's not always that great with the locals he interviews. It's as if he's expecting them to answer a certain way-- like he has an idea of what should be said about BBQ or gumbo or whatever, and his questions imply a particular answer, but the locals don't give it. Often this manifests because the people simply aren't as rhapsodic or analytical about their cuisine. But there are also occasions where Alton thinks he's certain of something and he ends up being wrong.

He's perfect for his role on Iron Chef America and The Next Food Network Star. But let's be honest about that last one, even an untrained cook with no television experience would have no trouble criticizing the amateurs they select for that show,

His grilled cheese trick blew my mind. So simple!

I love his stuff and approach, but my wife won't let me make many of his recipes because it always makes a huge mess. And I absolutely love the fact that he explains why you need to add this or do this step, which seems like the best way to learn how to cook. But, I think I've matured past him; my favorite now is Cook's Illustrated/America's Test Kitchen, whose recipes are much more practical and, unlike Alton, have yet to steer me wrong.

I hate Alton Brown. Can't figure out why. I love the concept behind Good Eats. But something about him brings out this irrational dislike in me.

Good Eats is the shit. Food Network was having a massive sale in July on their DVD's and I got the entire set of his work for 1/3rd the price it was going for last year.

I mentioned it in the 500 food thread but his Stove Top Mac and Cheese is beyond anything in this world. I recommend cutting the cheddar with gouda.

I regularly fry chicken with his recipe and without a doubt the episode that still blows my mind to this day is the one where he made a roast in the oven with a terra cotta planter. Genius.

His smug precociousness drives me bonkers, but holy shit does that guy know his food, and he communicates the most complex methods and chemical reactions as clearly as, well, Mr. Wizard.

I should add I started out hating the guy too. Eventually I developed a tolerance for the stuff I found annoying and was able to enjoy the good parts. It doesn't hurt that virtually every other Food Network personality pretty much sucks. I like Mario Batali, but that's about it.

Oh yeah....Totally couldn't stand the guy at first....but you're right about the others....I love food network but can't stand the twits that are on there....The only ones I can deal with are Alton, Mario and anyone that beats Bobby Flay on Throwdown(actually I can't stand most of them either.)

I think that Alton is great. I know a little bit about making sushi, and I was impressed about how simple he made it on his show. I also tried his souffle recipe--something that I had been avoiding for no good reason--and I've been able to reproduce it with excellent results. Most of the other Food Network stars seem to get old pretty quickly, but there's something about Alton that I continue to like. Maybe it's that fact that he's not identified with a particular kind of cooking, or a particular region. But for whatever reason, I haven't got sick of him yet.

Feasting on Asphalt is fun. I do wonder about all the places they visit that don't make the show. How many people basically tell Alton, "Get outta my kitchen..."

Alton Brown is probably the best thing about food on TV, with the possible exception of Nigella Lawson's breasts and British accent. We eventually got his 3 books, the one above, the baking book and the one for the kitchen gear. All of them are gold, and the only "celebrity chef" book I own.

I'm in the camp of "it's more important to know how and why it works that way than just following another recipe". Jason's right, I'm not going to do such extreme efforts to cook, but it's still damn entertaining. good I wish they'd sell those Good Eats DVD somewhere else than the damned Food Network. Way too pricey.

Here's a site with transcripts of most episodes: http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/GEFP/index.htm

I hate cooking shows that consist of watching someone cook some recipe without any hope of being able to reproduce it, and then watching them sitting down with all their best social friends and everyone's just so happy how the recipe turned out because it's so good and is presented so nice on the white china and look, here's some sort of fruity dessert and all their lives are so much more authentic and happy than yours. I'm looking at you, Giada. Seriously, how am I supposed to learn to cook from shows like that?

By the way, what's the "grilled cheese trick?" I'm a little afraid to ask.

I love the fact that she's faking orgasm each time she taste her goddamned food. We get it, you like it. But stop this mockery unless you're naked.

I make Giada's stuff all of the time. So far, it has all been fantastic and, honestly, comically easy. There's a reason everyone always looks so happy at Giada's house* - she doesn't make her pasta from scratch and her meals are straightforward marvels of engineering.

Alton Brown is my hero. I agree that many of his recipes are simply too complex for me to bother with, but, damn if it isn't entertaining to watch him do it. Plus, the burping yeast sock puppets in the bread episode crack me up every time.

Most everyone else is largely unwatchable. Unless you give them a hilarious backstory and use textual evidence from the show to prove your theory is correct. Like this -

Paula Deen - Her son, Bobby, is severely mentally retarded. It's a horrible family secret, but they just barely tolerate him. Every time Bobby walks off camera, yell things like "Look momma, I gave Gertie a treat!" at the screen in a Leonardo DiCaprio in What's Eating Gilbert Grape voice. The older son, Jamie, kind of wants to have him killed. Anxiety over Bobby's disabilities triggered Paula's agoraphobia and seems to be driving her slowly insane (see Paula's Party).

Bobby Flay - Is an alcohol-fueled rape machine. Oh, and he'll beat the crap out of you for lookin' at him funny. Are you lookin' at him funny?

Mario Batali - hates his life. Wants to help Anthony Bourdain make sure that Rachel Ray is never heard from again.

Sandra Lee - She obviously can't cook. So how do you think she got that show? She also has multiple substance abuse problems. Cocktail time!

Rachel Ray - So. angry. All of the time.

Giada - Constantly has a clutch of men hanging around, who all think they have a chance with her. This includes her husband. Witness the sausage parties that are the meals that end the shows.


*in addition to her fantastical cleavage

Love his show. It is aggravating how long some of his recipe's take though, but it pays off. Also, what happened to George Duran's Ham on the Street, that was my next favorite show on the Food Network. Do they still show it?

I'm right there with you. Wake me when someone starts the "Alton Brown Is An Annoying Shit" thread.

I just can't put up with Giada long enough to pay attention to her actual recipes. How many smug, overexposed close-ups of you pinching salt do we need, Giada? But Giada isn't the only one with a show like that. And, to be fair, I'm a physics engineer, so any show that doesn't have the ingredients listed down to the microgram makes me anxious.

Back to Alton: his Chipotle Smashed Sweet Potatoes couldn't be easier or more crowd-pleasing. And I will eventually make my own terra cotta BBQ smoker.

Also, I think he has the mange.

Good Eats is the first cooking show that I've decided I like more than PBS's old standyby, "The Frugal Gourmet" with Jeff Smith. Alton is likable, even when he goes off the goofy end, but most importantly, he seems to know his stuff inside and out on everything from standard fair to top of the line gourmet.

I agree with that the best part is that he explains WHY something is done a certain way. Not only does it help you with the specific recipe, it helps you extrapolate to other variations.

For example, I've had tremendous results substituting tougher cuts of venison in his sauerbraten recipe.

Alton and Giada are the only reasons to watch Food Network anymore.

And if you come to New Orleans, ignore Rachel Ray's shit entirely and give me a call instead. I can take you out for cheap ets that are the true local haunts rather than some wannabe joints.

And yeah, Batali needs to leave and go to Travel Channel. I want to see drunken ramblings with Batali and Bourdain. I want a new cooking network with Bourdain, Batali, and Ruhlman. Bring in Giada for the hotness. Maybe throw in Jaimie Oliver for some fun and angst. Hire away Alton Brown and just do a new version of his show.

Oh, and Giada's food is pretty easy to cook. I cook a lot of her meals , so anyone worrying shouldn't. Plus her cookbooks give pretty straightforward instructions.

But yeah, the best recent foodie programs I have watched have been on Travel Channel.

Easy solution. Don't watch the show, but download her recipes from foodnetwork.com. They're easy and tend to come off a lot more impressive than they really are. When you get past the personalities and just start trying the recipes from the site, you get a feel for which of the chefs work for you. More often than not, I want Batali to make me a meal, but with available ingredients, skill level, and time constraints being considerations, Giada's recipes tend to get more play around here. When I have a little more time for chopping and mixing spices, Emeril's recipes are super-easy and usually pretty good, too - just a little more time-consuming.

I don't actually use Brown's recipes much, but his general advice is probably more valuable than anything else on the network.

YES.

Or maybe some sort of confrontational cooking-oriented roundtable talk show with roving correspondents. They could pull Michael Moore-style ambushes on the CEOs responsible for Applebee's and the like.

Get Batali's buddy, Michael Stipe, to convince R.E.M. to be the house band. This would be an infinitely better use of their abilities than their albums of ever-diminishing returns.

Are you going to tell us the grilled cheese trick, or not? You can't just name drop a cooking trick and then disappear, gravedigger.

Alton Brown is the best reason to watch food network. Bobby Flay has some great ideas now and then (blueberry butter on grilled cornbread muffins, anyone? BOO-YAH).

Oh GOD. I would watch this every day. I want to see Alton Brown chasing the CEO of TGI Friday's down the street with a microphone, yelling something about cheesecake. Now.

But Bobby Flay will fucking shank you if you look at him sideways, faggot. Do you hear me?! He will cut you and then send pictures of your whining, bleeding ass to your mother!

He's a kitten.

Ha, MissZooey, your food network rundown was damn funny.

Alton is the man. I'm damn proud we live in the same town and he frequents our local shops on Good Eats all the time. I'm such a dork I'm always hoping I run into him, but alas, I never have. Yet. Sigh, guess I'll have to be happy about that time I ran into Clark Howard at Costco.

Atlanta magazine had a fascinating article on Alton a few months ago. I was shocked (and honestly a little disappointed) when I read how he uses an earpiece on Good Eats and records all the dialogue in advance. Of course he must, but I always hoped deep down that he was spouting off all that amazing knowledge off the cuff. And I knew that the show was filmed on a set but knowing that they originally used his producer's house I always liked to think that they kept that idea, but obviously with the show becoming more popular and using different visual tricks each year that would be impossible.

The wife and I are huge fans of Iron Chef America also, and Alton is always fantastic there as well. They do need to dump that loser Kevin Brash(sp) though, what a useless tool.

I perused Alton's cookbooks at B&N but never bought them because the recipes within are so damn complex. I've actually found that Emeril's recipes are easier to duplicate in real life. I haven't tried Giada's recipes, mostly because no one in my home has the cleavage to pull them off and without boobs they just don't have the same pizzazz.

Only if Brown is herding the CEO into a trap with Anthony Bourdain, a chef knife and a blowtorch at the end. That's entertainment.

Why aren't we all television execs? We'd be fantastic at it!

Oh, and - You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Martin Savage again.

Sure. A kitten that will stab you in the FACE, motherfucker!

He does have a hot wife, though.

Okay. I'll stuff two water balloons in my shirt and take a look at Giada's actual recipes.

But, to reiterate: What's the Goddamned grilled cheese trick? My guess: it involves bolting a terra cotta pot onto a box fan, and then a disembodied hand and a sock puppet pull a map of Europe down from the ceiling.

That's exactly right.

The other option is- if you have two pans of the same size, improvise and use them as a press. Quick and easy! So, it's like-

\_____/---
delicious sandwich
\_____/---
~~~~~

Bobby Flay wouldn't make a diagram like that. Bobby Flay would have stabbed you in the back with a boning knife for even asking about the grilled cheese trick.

Gravedigger, you really ought to point out those pans are supposed to be cast iron.

Anyway, here's the recipe.

Or boned you in the backside with a stabbing knife...

Do you people see what my life is like? Do you?

That's not Bobby Flay's roasted red pepper sauce, that's your blood.

Actually, it is his roasted red pepper sauce. The recipe calls for your blood.

That's the best part of Alton, IMO. He doesn't really give you recipes, he gives you technique and understanding of how to cook rather than how to follow instructions printed on a notecard. He's a cooking instructor, rather than just a chef on TV.

I used to dislike Giada, but now I like her a lot more. Her stuff is often very simple, but very good. On the other hand, you have Batali, who often cooks stuff I'd probably be too intimidated to make (at the risk of wasting all that money on authentic ingredients just to fuck it up), but I would love to eat at his restaurants.

Your pan ascii art was stylish AND informative. It's the best use of ascii art I've ever seen on chud, mostly 'cause it doesn't involve penises or butts!

I hate to say it, but Batali actually does more to turn me away from serious Italian cooking than anything else. He's the only foodTV star whose recipes I've never attempted.

Christ, Zooey....helluva week, huh?

DaveB, please take this woman out for a slushie or something. She's got an attitude.*







*more so than usual, anyway.