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Yet another "Misfit is on the verge of death" thread

post #1 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:23am
Thread Starter 
Okay. So far this year, I've posted about nearly cutting my ear off and destroying my knee (with the occasional post about films thrown in for good measure). Now, physical injuries take a backseat to disease. Friday night, I went to a bar with some friends and felt a little dizzy when I sat down. I also had a bit of a sore throat. The throat got worse throughout the night.

Saturday, the throat feels like death incarnate. Swallowing anything (yes, swallowing, very funny) is horrendously painful. I make a brief appearance at a birthday party that night, then go home and essentially die. I can't sleep because every time I swallow, I get a shot of adrenaline because of the pain. The fever spikes back up but I still don't go to hospital, because I'm a genius.

The next morning, my voice is unrecognizable and I finally go to the ER. The doctor says "it's a good thing you came in, because this would have been a whole lot worse tomorrow." He says I have one of the worst throat infections he's ever seen. They immediately put me on an IV of antibiotics and give me a drink to numb my throat. After a throat culture, it turns out I have fucking mono, too.

So, I'm sent off with a handful of prescriptions for antibiotics, steroids, and painkillers and an appointment to see a specialist the next day. He tells me if the drugs don't work, my tonsils will have to come out.

...

So, other than the occasional trip for more soup and a couple of brief excursions, I've been in bed since Sunday. Here's what I want to know:

1. Have you had mono? If so, how long til you felt good again?
2. Have you had your tonsils out as an adult? Is it as horrific as I keep hearing?
3. Tell me how sorry you feel for me. There are only so many times a day I can call my mom.

Any advice/funeral song suggestions are appreciated.
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post #2 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:26am
Have you inhaled near any meteorites recently?
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post #3 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:27am
Long days on the couch? No chores? No responsibilities? I'd eat a little minor surgery for that.
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post #4 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:30am
I had mono several years back. It was like having a terrible case of the flu for about 5 days, after that I was just a little lazier than usual. The worst part, this being my freshman year of college, was they told me I couldn't drink for 6 weeks or my spleen would burst. This turned out to be innaccurate, but I'm sure their hearts were in the right place.
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post #5 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:34am
Live, damn you -- LIVE!
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post #6 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:35am
I got mono just in time for me 21st birthday. I just thought it was a bad cold for about a month (I don't like doctor's either), then it laid me out hard for about a week. After that, I felt generally crappy for another month. I knew a girl in high school who had such a severe case that she was out for an entire semester.

I hope you feel better soon, misfit. Try to enjoy all the sleep and movie-watching time you're getting.
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post #7 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:37am
Can't wait until a 767 crashes in your anus.

Still, good luck with all this.
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post #8 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:46am
I had a friend in high school who had mono and then missed about a day a week for the rest of the years we spent there. He claimed the mono kept coming back, but he could have just been lazy.
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post #9 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:49am
Thread Starter 
This really does kind of feel like retirement. I've been eating yogurt, soup and oatmeal. I'm watching Walker Texas Ranger right now, killing time until Price is Right comes on.

I've also been able to get into the box set of the Monty Python series I bought a few months back and the first two films of the Sergio Leone set. So, except for the disease and horrendous pain, this has been the greatest week of my life.
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post #10 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:49am
Would you just start wearing a helmet already?
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post #11 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:51am
I had mono after my first year in college and had to drop out in the summer semester. I agree with the flu-like symptoms. I was just tired all the time, and slept for about 3-4 days straight, probably like 15-20 hours a day. No sore throat that I remember, though.

Never had my tonsils out. I hear it stops more of strep throat, though. Elizabeth had strep throat a lot as a kid, and they removed her tonsils, and she never had it again.

I got a personal apology from Nick on the last CHUD Podcast for you not being on it, so of course I feel bad for you Will. I'll arrange for a Shanghai hooker to come over and rub your feet if you like.
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post #12 of 48
9/19/07 at 12:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
Would you just start wearing a helmet already?
A helmet would only really come into play if misfit decided to be mobile, possibly a bad idea given his recent streak of luck. He should probably just confine himself to the home for the time being and consider installing some sort of plastic bubble system.

As for actual insight... when Mrs. Brady had her tonsils out, it didn't seem so bad. That's all I got.
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post #13 of 48
9/19/07 at 12:10pm
Now's the perfect opportunity to watch all those classic movies you're ashamed to have never seen. Either sign up to Netflix stat or send a buddy out to the rental joint. An opportunity like this to do nothing but watch great movies back to back to back doesn't come along that often!
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post #14 of 48
9/19/07 at 12:15pm
Misfit doesn't need a helmet, he need the suit from Project Grizzly:

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post #15 of 48
9/19/07 at 12:15pm
Thread Starter 
I've never seen Heat, and a friend lent me his copy a few weeks ago, so that's on the menu for the afternoon. There's also a copy of Citizen Kane around here somewhere that I've never watched.

Still, not needing a nap after I brush my teeth would be pretty cool.
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post #16 of 48
9/19/07 at 12:38pm
I hope you feel better soon Will, but don't count on it. I had mono in the 11th grade and missed four months of school. Sore (ok, understatement) throat, enlarged spleen, and an appetite for sleep that can't be satiated.

The throat pain was so bad I couldn't eat, so I consumed milkshake after milkshake with scoops of protein powder. Christ, I wish I'd thought to add some fiber to those shakes as well.

Follow Stormin's suggestion. I remember that TBS was running all of the Frankie Avalon-Annette Funicello Beach Party movies while I was sick. I watched them over, and over, and over again. Heat and Citizen Kane just about measure up.
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post #17 of 48
9/19/07 at 12:39pm
I had that mono once, during my freshman year in college. It started with the same throat thing you have - that was the absolutely worst part, but even after that subsided a bit I was still achy and feverish for a couple weeks, waking up in the middle of the night soaking wet a lot.

That lasted a couple weeks but I think it really damaged my immune system. It took about a year for me to recover, I think. For one or two years I was getting sick with colds almost once every one/two months. It also helped me sink into depression and almost fail out of school.

Just be careful - take care of yourself (I didn't and it made life suck). Eat well, sleep a lot, and don't drink/smoke/take narcotics.
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post #18 of 48
9/19/07 at 1:45pm
Hope you feel better, Misfit; sorry you've been going through several circles of hell lately.

My wife had her tonsils out awhile ago - she said it wasn't that bad to have the surgery done - plus you get tons of ice cream to scarf down (I was watching LA Ink last night, and one of the tatoo artists had to get her tonsils out - they had an auction for her to cover her medical fees as she had no insurance).

Also, if you run out of movies to watch, there's always the Maury show (trying to guess if one guy or another is the father of some kid is strangely compelling).
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post #19 of 48
9/19/07 at 1:53pm
When I was going to college and simultaneously working on two feature films I came down with mono two or three times, I can't remember which. Needless to say it was awful, but I had to keep functioning regardless and it didn't stick around for too long any of the times.

One thing to watch out for if you get your tonsils out is to drink as much. as. possible. When I got mine out back in middle school I drank what was to me a lot of water, but not enough for what they wanted and one night my scabs fell off and I woke up vomiting blood. I was ferried around from hospital to hospital, just puking all the blood in my body out into a bucket awaiting treatment. Must have been quite an image: overly pale scrawny kid puking into a bucket half full with blood.
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post #20 of 48
9/19/07 at 1:57pm
Just do like my dad plans on doing. Have Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes at your funeral.
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post #21 of 48
9/19/07 at 2:31pm
Never had mono, but I had my tonsils out only 2 years ago. Here's what you can expect:
No smoking or drinking 2 weeks prior to the surgery. The surgery itself wasn't too bad since they used lasers on mine. No bleeding. They told me ice cream wasn't the best choice because of the dairy involved, and the mucus that would result. So I had mushed up fudge-cicles and jello. They gave me liquid codeine for the pain, which tasted like Horror, and I had to take a double or triple does at first just to get comfortable. The only thing that really bugged me about the whole experience was my swollen uvula. My uvula already hangs down farther than normal, so the swelling made it feel like I had something stuck in my throat for 2 weeks. After about a week I was ok to go out again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaPabLe
Just do like my dad plans on doing. Have Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes at your funeral.
This is my plan too, although I was thinking about wearing Spock ears in the casket, after never ever wearing them in life.
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post #22 of 48
9/19/07 at 2:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaPabLe
Just do like my dad plans on doing. Have Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes at your funeral.
Bagpipes, yes, "Amazing Grace," no. "Bitches Ain't Shit," YES.

Feel better, misfit.
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post #23 of 48
9/19/07 at 2:40pm
Amazing Grace is the Bitches Ain't Shit of 18th century England.
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post #24 of 48
9/19/07 at 2:42pm
This is 21st century America, you filthy communist!
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post #25 of 48
9/19/07 at 3:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
This is 21st century America, you filthy communist!
Not in my red, red heart.
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post #26 of 48
9/19/07 at 3:23pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the insight/advice/encouragement, all. My inability to stay awake for more than 30 minutes at a shot has prevented me from watching any full movies today. There's always hope for later, though.
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post #27 of 48
9/19/07 at 3:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz
I had mono several years back. It was like having a terrible case of the flu for about 5 days, after that I was just a little lazier than usual.
Same here. I had heard horror stories of people with mono being bedbound for weeks. I felt like absolute shit for about four days, and kinda crummy for a couple more days. That's it.
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post #28 of 48
9/19/07 at 4:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
My wife had her tonsils out awhile ago - she said it wasn't that bad to have the surgery done - plus you get tons of ice cream to scarf down
Are you sure your wife wasn't telling you about an episode of The Brady Bunch? Because that ice cream stuff is bullshit, unless you're a little kid. They heal faster. I got them out when I was 19. Maybe they've improved the process since. But, it took me weeks to recover from. I tried to drink some apple juice the following day...and it felt like my throat had been exploded by a razorbomb. Ice cream? How? Was she on morphine at the time? I could drink water when I was at the peak of my painkiller high. Maybe I had a quack doc hack away my tonsils. But that was two weeks of pain and spitting out burnt throat skin. Goddamn it, misfit. DON'T LET THEM CASTRATE YOUR THROAT.

Also, get better. Damien Rice cds on constant rotation while taking bubble baths. Should do the trick.
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post #29 of 48
9/19/07 at 4:09pm
I had all the symptoms when I had mono: super sore throat, achy and no energy. Unfortunately, I also lost at least 20 lbs. What really sucked was I got fitted for a tux when I was healthy. When it came time to wear the thing, the tux looked like it swallowed me.
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post #30 of 48
9/19/07 at 4:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
Damien Rice cds on constant rotation while taking bubble baths. Should do the trick.
My eyes! They are burning!
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post #31 of 48
9/19/07 at 4:39pm
damien rice= mono-holyshitiwannaslitmygoddamwrists-eosis
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post #32 of 48
9/19/07 at 6:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
But, it took me weeks to recover from. I tried to drink some apple juice the following day...and it felt like my throat had been exploded by a razorbomb. Ice cream? How? Was she on morphine at the time? I could drink water when I was at the peak of my painkiller high. Maybe I had a quack doc hack away my tonsils. But that was two weeks of pain and spitting out burnt throat skin. Goddamn it, misfit. DON'T LET THEM CASTRATE YOUR THROAT.
About 5 years ago, I had a massive throat infection and got diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea at the same time. I had the following done in one surgery:
1. Uvula removal. That's right, they cut out my FUCKING Uvula.
2. Tonsillectomy
3. Adenoidectomy
4. Deviated Septum repair

Take what Matchstick just posted, and amplify it to "why can't I die? I just want to die..." levels of pain. For two weeks.
Liquid vicodin helped, as long as I (A) choked back the pain caused by swallowing said vicodin, and (B) walked the razor's edge of taking enough to dull the pain, but not enough to make me vomit.

Oh god. I almost forgot about vomiting vicodin and bile through cheese-grater-shredded throat tissue.

On the plus side, once you heal up, you shouldn't snore as much.
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post #33 of 48
9/19/07 at 9:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz
I had mono several years back. It was like having a terrible case of the flu for about 5 days, after that I was just a little lazier than usual. The worst part, this being my freshman year of college, was they told me I couldn't drink for 6 weeks or my spleen would burst. This turned out to be innaccurate, but I'm sure their hearts were in the right place.
Turned out to be inaccurate, huh? I'm curious as to how long you waited.
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post #34 of 48
9/19/07 at 10:22pm
Are you kidding? As soon as the doctor turned around to look at his clipboard he pulled the emergency flask out of his Bible.
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post #35 of 48
9/19/07 at 11:10pm
About 2 weeks.

I blame the Catholic school system.
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post #36 of 48
9/20/07 at 7:39am
Never had my tonsils out at all, never knew any adults who did either.

My niece had mono her freshman year of college, and she missed a good chunk of her semester. Same deal with a girl I went to college with who had it.

Right about now, I'd say it's time for you to watch a couple of epic movies to pass the time. Start off with, say, all four hours of Gone With the Wind. Then maybe Gone With the Wind en espanol. And I'm betting there's a copy somewhere out on the black market that's entirely in Lithuanian...

Feel better, misfit. And on a more serious note, take care of yourself - I know given your track record, that's a tall order, but take your medicines, eat healthy, no smoking, no alcohol, no hookers, etc.
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post #37 of 48
9/20/07 at 9:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
Are you sure your wife wasn't telling you about an episode of The Brady Bunch? Because that ice cream stuff is bullshit, unless you're a little kid. They heal faster. I got them out when I was 19. Maybe they've improved the process since. But, it took me weeks to recover from. I tried to drink some apple juice the following day...and it felt like my throat had been exploded by a razorbomb. Ice cream? How? Was she on morphine at the time? I could drink water when I was at the peak of my painkiller high. Maybe I had a quack doc hack away my tonsils. But that was two weeks of pain and spitting out burnt throat skin. Goddamn it, misfit. DON'T LET THEM CASTRATE YOUR THROAT.

Also, get better. Damien Rice cds on constant rotation while taking bubble baths. Should do the trick.
I'll have to ask her exactly when she got them removed - I'd have bet money that she said she was scarfing down ice cream soon after. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I apologize, but she be one hardy woman though so it wouldn't surprise me she'd bounce back so quick (I watched when she accidently took a major fall off a staircase, then got up like nothing happened. Something like that happened to me when a year or two prior and I was in pain for days.

Re: your tonsilectomy - whoosh. Sorry you went through it, dude - that sounded awful.
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post #38 of 48
9/20/07 at 9:43am
Thread Starter 
Thanks again for the kind words and advice, all. I'm still alive, and I'm going to go into work for a few hours today.

Just as soon as this episode of Saved by the Bell is over. It's the one where they all get fake IDs and hang out at that college club.
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post #39 of 48
9/20/07 at 9:51am
I had my tonsils out as a kid, and they told me no ice-cream because it could cause an infection, Got lots of jello though. But then waking up to find your pillow coated in blood with a clot going from the pillow down your throat evaporates the good memories pretty quick.
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post #40 of 48
9/20/07 at 10:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit
Just as soon as this episode of Saved by the Bell is over. It's the one where they all get fake IDs and hang out at that college club.
I wouldn't leave my couch until I saw the episode where the famous actor (a Lou Diamond Phillips-lookin' motherfucker) comes to Bayside to shoot an anti-drug commercial, then tokes it up in the bathroom. I think he hit on Kelly, too. Damn, that episode was a treasure trove.
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post #41 of 48
9/20/07 at 12:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit
Thanks again for the kind words and advice, all. I'm still alive, and I'm going to go into work for a few hours today.
"...yeah, and I'm sure Typhoid Mary was a nice person when you met her socially..."
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post #42 of 48
9/20/07 at 12:59pm
Misfit! Don't put your mouth on the bubbler! You'll give everyone the plague!!

Anthony Bourdain wrote a really great book about Typhoid Mary. Perhaps that would be good reading right now.
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post #43 of 48
9/20/07 at 1:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit
Thanks again for the kind words and advice, all. I'm still alive, and I'm going to go into work for a few hours today.
You're fairly contagious, so work might not be a great idea. I'm fairly certain I caught it from my history teacher. "Kissing disease" and all that.
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post #44 of 48
9/20/07 at 1:11pm
You kissed your history teacher? Ew.
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post #45 of 48
9/20/07 at 1:37pm
Thread Starter 
My cube is fairly isolated, and I've gotten pretty psycho about washing my hands before I touch anything. If anybody's going to catch it from me here, they're going to have to work at it.

I did lick the coffee maker, but that's just common sense.
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post #46 of 48
9/20/07 at 1:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit
I did lick the coffee maker, but that's just common sense.
What is her name?

HEY-OOOO! *rimshot*
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post #47 of 48
9/20/07 at 2:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger
What is her name?

HEY-OOOO! *rimjob*
Fixed
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post #48 of 48
9/20/07 at 6:30pm
I had mono in high school. It was joined with a bad case of strep throat and a high fever the whole time, often leading to hallucinations. I also lost around 50 pounds in two and a half weeks(no exaggeration. it was great) and some of my hair fell out. I was pretty much bed-ridden too, due to lack of energy. Have fun!
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