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The Mummy series

post #1 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:13am
Thread Starter 
Tonight I'm going to shuck aside old-fashioned habits like Rapid Eye Movement in favor of watching the entire Mummy series. I bought the boxed set a while back, but I never watched it until now. From what little I can remember, though, it's actually quite a fun series. Thoughts?
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post #2 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:19am
There's no way I'd give up two hours of sleep to watch "The Mummy Returns".

That said I thought the first one was dumb, empty fun.
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post #3 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:22am
Thread Starter 
I forgot Rachel Weisz's character was a librarian. Hey Miss Zooey, can you tell us about your experiences battling the undead.
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post #4 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:31am
Is The Scorpion King in this pack? Because that one trumps them both.
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post #5 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:32am
Thread Starter 
Yes sir. It's also the only one I haven't seen, and I love The Rock, so I'm looking forward to it.

EDIT: Christ this movie is funny. Brendan Fraiser running around with two guns all the time trying to be a badass, ancient protectors of lost cities running around whilst on fire, all sorts of silly shit.
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post #6 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:42am
They deleted a whole subplot in The Scorpion King about an oft-repeated prophecy, which culminated in the death of the villain and even had a bearing on the cheesy one-liner used. I'm paraphrasing (swipe): "When the heavenly bodies are in the House of Scorpio, a falling star will usher in the rise of the king eternal." Of course, the villain thought he was that king: turns out he quite literally was the falling star as Rock throws him, burning, off his palace.

One-liner in theatrical version: "Catch this." The guy had a knack for catching arrows with his hand.

One-liner in deleted subplot version: "Hey Memnon? My prophecy says... you're dead!"

I just liked the second cheesy one-liner better.
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post #7 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:44am
The Mummy's girlfriend is smokin' too.
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post #8 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:46am
I totally blanked on the Sorpion King. I've never seen it, it's a prequel correct? If so does that mean you'll start with it or end with it?
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post #9 of 70
9/20/07 at 6:47am
Thread Starter 
I've viewing them chronologically, so it'll all culminate to Scorpion King. Excitement!
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post #10 of 70
9/20/07 at 7:18am
I remember the first one being a fun nod to Indiana Jones and monster movies, the second one...wasn't, it did have Rachel Weisz and Patricia Valesquez in a Sai fight but that can't make up for the little bastard they spawned.

I haven't seen Scorpion King.
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post #11 of 70
9/20/07 at 7:20am
Thread Starter 
So this guy saves himself by holding up a gold star of David, trying to pray the mummy away. The mummy sees the star of David and goes "Ah, the mark of the slaves! You could be useful." That's hilariously borderline offensive.

Speaking of borderline offensive, these special effects have not aged as well as, say, Clash of the Titans. The scarab swarms are fucked.

Hey, Brendan Frasier is actually pretty funny in this one.
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post #12 of 70
9/20/07 at 7:34am
You will be surprised how fast things go to shit in the second one.
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post #13 of 70
9/20/07 at 7:37am
Thread Starter 
There's a kid in that one right? That tends to fuck shit up.
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post #14 of 70
9/20/07 at 8:45am
I didn't think the kid was all that bad in the second one -- he was actually smart and held his own with the two leads.
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post #15 of 70
9/20/07 at 9:31am
The two leads were Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. We're not exactly talking about playing in the big leagues.

Though that's a bit unfair to Fraser, as he does his best to remain charming and likable in that movie, despite it being an inexcusable pile of shit.
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post #16 of 70
9/20/07 at 9:33am
I actually thoroughly enjoyed the first Mummy movie. Most of the above comments nail the reasons why, so I won't elaborate.

The second one sucked except for a few things:
- The double-decker bus scene was (I thought) a well staged action sequence that belonged in a better movie.
- Rachel Weisz, dressed in skimpy Egyptian clothes, looks VERY nice.
- Oded Fehr, as Ardeth Bay, is pretty cool in this movie. Whenever he's on the screen, it seems to become a better movie.

The effects work needs more restraint, something that Stephen Sommers is seems utterly incapable of allowing.
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post #17 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:07am
Hmm, I will concede to those points, Judas. (<= hahaha that sentence)

Ripoli, think of The Scorpion King as a Hercules/Xena episode with someone actually charming and talented in the lead. The production values aren't a lot better. A lot of fantasy movies get away with shit like catapults in ancient Gomorrah because they have an "old timey" feel to them, but when all the wenches in a tavern have gleaming white teeth and perfect fake titties, something is wrong.

One of my favourite exchanges:

[Rock hides from some guards in Bernard Hill's -- whom he's never met -- laboratory]
Hill: *gasp* Has Memnon sent you to kill me?
Rock: [glances over Hill for a nanosecond] Maybe later.
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post #18 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:11am
The Scorpion King is fucking awful.
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post #19 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:19am
I almost, almost did a post in that "Defend a Bad Movie" thread on THE MUMMY RETURNS, as I liked it quite a bit the few times I've seen it, but I decided I didn't want to be neg-repped into oblivion. (And also because it's been a while.)

Anyway, Oded Fehr's character should have gotten the spin-off, not The Rock.
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post #20 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu
Anyway, Oded Fehr's character should have gotten the spin-off, not The Rock.
I really like the Rock, but Judas was right about Fehr being the one good thing beside the chicks in Return. And he's a solid actor, evidenced not by Deuce Bigalow but by the Showtime series Sleeper Cell.
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post #21 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll

EDIT: Christ this movie is funny. Brendan Fraiser running around with two guns all the time trying to be a badass, ancient protectors of lost cities running around whilst on fire, all sorts of silly shit.
I always thought Brendan Frasier was channeling Jack Burton in the original.
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post #22 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:27am
Thread Starter 
Wow. The Mummy Returns isn't really a fan of audiences. This is going to be harder than I thought. I really hate how they made Rachel Weisz's character a tough gunslinging chick. She was really cute as a clumsy, utterly nerdy librarian who was in way over her head.
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post #23 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:28am
I feel sorta proud of myself that I immediately assumed you were talking about the Karloff/Lon Chaney Jr. Mummies. You should watch those instead. The only remake worth its salt is the first one. I can't believe they managed turned a relatively fun adventure film into stupid-ass action movies...
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post #24 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:31am
But... but... but... it's got freakin' Pygmie Mummies. My God, man, what else do you want?
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post #25 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli
But... but... but... it's got freakin' Pygmie Mummies. My God, man, what else do you want?
The rest of a okay movie would be nice?
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post #26 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:37am
Thread Starter 
And now the Mummy is speaking English! Fuck this!

I do appreciate Marta being in the film. Arrested Development connections make anything better.
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post #27 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
The rest of a okay movie would be nice?
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post #28 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I do appreciate Marta being in the film. Arrested Development connections make anything better.
The movie would indeed be better with The Final Countdown in it.
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post #29 of 70
9/20/07 at 10:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
I feel sorta proud of myself that I immediately assumed you were talking about the Karloff/Lon Chaney Jr. Mummies. You should watch those instead. The only remake worth its salt is the first one. I can't believe they managed turned a relatively fun adventure film into stupid-ass action movies...
Let's be honest here, Alex. The old school Mummy sequels were crap too. You've got to be a certified Universal Monster fan to get any enjoyment out of them.
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post #30 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:15am
I disagree. The original Karloff "Mummy" was a pretty great creature feature.
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post #31 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:16am
He said the sequels.
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post #32 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:26am
I stand corrected.
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post #33 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:32am
...still better than The Mummy Returns.
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post #34 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:35am
Then again, anal warts are better than The Mummy Returns.
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post #35 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu
Anyway, Oded Fehr's character should have gotten the spin-off, not The Rock.
Come on guys, no love for Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as the big nameless henchman?
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post #36 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
The Scorpion King is fucking awful.
It does have one rather redeeming feature:

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post #37 of 70
9/20/07 at 11:39am
Returns was really goofy, but I liked the first one. The Universal ride is more fun than either of them.
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post #38 of 70
9/20/07 at 12:19pm
That doesn't count, Surge, because she doesn't get naked. A barbarian film with no nudity or gore? If I want to see that I'll rent Conan The Destroyer. At least that has a better cast.
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post #39 of 70
9/20/07 at 12:33pm
Fun disposable matinee series. However, Returns was kinda like the flu-symptoms (something's wrong here...) that heralded the full-blown AIDS that was Van Helsing (how do you f**k that up???). To this day, I still don't know why they chose to completely CGI the Rock's torso and head on that monster instead of using insert shots of the real actor (for close-ups and less active angles).

Sommers' kitchen-sink/OTT mentality (ie: stupidity), as his budgets got bigger, snow-balled and crushed the enjoyment out of his later films.

The Scorpion King is my wife's Conan. I'll watch it, but I'll miss the barbarian staples (blood & boobs).
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post #40 of 70
9/20/07 at 12:38pm
All I can say about The Scorpion King is that Kelly Hu makes my pants vibrate.
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post #41 of 70
9/20/07 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTSMGL
All I can say about The Scorpion King is that Kelly Hu makes my pants vibrate.
I'll quote my nephew and say she "makes my weiner tickle."

And even if there was nudity ala Hu in SK, I'm guessing there wouldn't be a whole lot to show, judging by her bust size.

Hmmm. Boob job?

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post #42 of 70
9/20/07 at 1:22pm
In an instance of what I might call the Chud Hive Mind, I too was considering going back to check these out again. I think the first one is a decent adventure flick, the second one is dumb fun (with a pretty decent score), and The Scorpion King is worthwhile because of The Rock (Kelly Hu doesn't hurt either). I like all of them, but sort of scratch my head at the prospect of the Mummy III...

The Scorpion King is actually the one I was going to go to first, but I don't really know why. I think I'm just in the mood for a corny barbarian action flick. Comparing it to Xena/Hercules is definitely fair and when you consider that it was basically The Rock's first chance at a starring role, well, it wasn't a bad place to begin, and you can forgive some of its limitations (I can, at least).
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post #43 of 70
9/20/07 at 1:52pm
I was honestly and without bullshit thinking about watching the two core Mummy flicks at least two-three weeks ago.

Maybe there's something going on...
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post #44 of 70
9/20/07 at 2:10pm
Thread Starter 
It was just the right time for them. It's been nearly ten years(!) since the first one and franchises are like potato chips: You can't have just one.
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post #45 of 70
9/20/07 at 2:12pm
The Mummy is a good, fun film, a rollicking adventure with enough darkness to make horror fans feel they haven't been completely cheated. The sequel and prequel are absolute shit, Kelly Hu's extreme hotness notwithstanding. One thing I particularly like about The Mummy is that the titular character isn't just a shambling monster but a supernatural force, kinda like Dracula in Coppola's remake.
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post #46 of 70
9/20/07 at 2:18pm
Thread Starter 
The Mummy Returns' soundtrack has WAY more choir than it deserves. It's like choir overload. Half this fucking movie is "Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". If I didn't just watch Battleship Potempkin in Film History class to cleanse my pallate, I'd be so fucking pissed.
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post #47 of 70
9/20/07 at 2:47pm
The Mummy was the first ever DVD I ever bought (hmm sadly full frame I WAS INEXPERIENCED! IT WAS MY FIRST TIME!). Thought it was a decent crowd pleaser.

The Mummy Returns goes to shit after the bus scene. I didn't put 2 and 2 that was Marta from AD.

The Scorpion King is better, but better than shit is very easily accomplished. It feels cheap but guilty good just because of Dwayne Johnson and Kelly Hu. I was hoping for him to get scorpion powers and fuck people up.

Mummy 3 might be interesting, since Sommers isn't near it (man what a fall from grace that guy has).
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post #48 of 70
9/20/07 at 2:58pm
Thread Starter 
This Scorpion King in Returns looks like he comes right out of a Final Fantasy VII cut-scene.
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post #49 of 70
9/20/07 at 3:08pm
Thread Starter 
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Best thing ever. Brendan just impaled the People's Insect on the golden spear of Sandpenis. There's a lingering shot as he hangs over a chasm and the Scorpion King begins to realise he's been destroyed.



Then, Imhotep (the Mummy) runs into frame, stops, holds out his arms, and then shouts "Noooooooooooooooo!".



The silliest shit. Love it.
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post #50 of 70
9/20/07 at 3:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Best thing ever. Brendan just impaled the People's Insect on the golden spear of Sandpenis. There's a lingering shot as he hangs over a chasm and the Scorpion King begins to realise he's been destroyed.



Then, Imhotep (the Mummy) runs into frame, stops, holds out his arms, and then shouts "Noooooooooooooooo!".



The silliest shit. Love it.
That was the best part of the entire movie. Its like they shoved him into scene because he forgot to be in it.
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