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Fabfunk creeps out the guy who made VIDEODROME

post #1 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:40pm
Thread Starter 
Fabfunk's review of EASTERN PROMISES a little while ago.

Quote:
Not only is it a totally brutal one-on-one fight with Viggo’s fists versus two guys with knives, but ol’ Viggo takes them down through about five to ten minutes of bare-knuckled brawling while COMPLETELY NUDE. And there’s no dodgy photography or editing in this- Viggo’s balls are flying ALL over the place. There’s one moment where he lifts his leg to deliver a roundhouse kick, and I could swear Aragorn’s scrote smacked me in the face about six times. If anybody remembers that totally rough naked shower fight in “Get Rich Or Die Trying”, this one is about twelve times more brutal. Van Damme would never agree to that sort of ball exposure, and he’d never deliver the kind of ass-kicking that results from it.
From an article Mori posted today.

Quote:
Much has been written about Viggo Mortensen’s nudity in the scene, to the extent that David Cronenberg actually discussed AICN in the FILM COMMENT interview, talking about the test screening review that ran here and how the reviewer was “obsessed” with Viggo’s balls in his review.
Watch out, Davecat! Fabfunk will find a way to creep you out someday too!
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post #2 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:42pm
I need a picture of Old Bruce Wayne screaming.
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post #3 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:42pm
I thought that it would be an impossible feat to creep out Cronenberg. Proven wrong.
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post #4 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:45pm
Hah, it didn't connect that Fabfunk's review was the one that Cronenberg was referencing. That's awesome/terrifying.
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post #5 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:48pm
Thread Starter 
HAHAHAHAH THE ACTUAL INTERVIEW

Quote:
INTERVIEWER: I found a piece that someone had posted on Ain’t It Cool News about having seen a preview of the film.
CRONENBERG: Was it the guy who was obsessed with Viggo’s balls?

I: I don’t know if I performed an act of repression, but I don’t remember seeing his balls.
C: You do see them. It’s just that they go by rather quickly.

I: Right. I meant I didn’t notice them in particular.
C:It wasn’t like there was a close-up of them. But this guy was obsessed. He even wrote “big hairy balls.” Well, that’s one way of looking at it. They’re definitely there, as you would imagine, but it’s only if you’re looking for them that that’s what you see. Because mostly he’s shot in full figure. So when people decide to run the DVD frame by frame, they are going to see everything at one point or another. Of course, a lot of the time it’s going to be slightly blurred because he’s in motion.
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post #6 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:54pm
So very funny.
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post #7 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:55pm
I'm actually afraid that Cronenberg uses his fear of this guy as the base for one of his next movie.
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post #8 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:56pm
This is why internet film sites get no respect.
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post #9 of 77
9/20/07 at 3:58pm
Fabfunk, you lurking bastard,
You're actually proud of this aren't you?

Well you're fucking up the system with you desire to be famous.
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post #10 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:02pm
Fabfunk creeps out a guy who Invented a sexual fetish involving car crash injuries?

Somehow, this fails to surprise me.
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post #11 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
I'm actually afraid that Cronenberg uses his fear of this guy as the base for one of his next movie.
I see it the other way around. He bases a character off of Fabfunk and has him die in a truly horrific way, sending a grizzly message to ol Fabbington to keep his distance.
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post #12 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idiot Brigade
I see it the other way around. He bases a character off of Fabfunk and has him die in a truly horrific way, sending a grizzly message to ol Fabbington to keep his distance.
He won't get the message. Any of them, no matter how clear they are, unless it's carved off the flesh of a disease-ridden dying whore who's last wish was being dumped in a container in the worse ghetto in the city where the Funk works his mojo.
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post #13 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:11pm
Either way, he's probably masturbating about this.
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post #14 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:13pm
Run, David! RUUUUUUN!
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post #15 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:15pm
They really are accepting anyone in the Lantern Corps these days.
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post #16 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:15pm
It hurts. It just hurts.
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post #17 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:16pm
I have to say, it kind of makes sense that the universe would draw these two together eventually. I think Mr. Cronenberg is probably just freaked out because he thought he was making that shit up.
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post #18 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Death Surge
Fabfunk creeps out a guy who Invented a sexual fetish involving car crash injuries?
JG Ballard wrote the original book, and it's a masterpiece. But I'm sure the Fabber would attest to the fact that it's difficult to read and get to vinegar strokes at the same time.
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post #19 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:26pm
Quote:
CRONENBERG: Was it the guy who was obsessed with Viggo’s balls?
Man, potential sigs popping up left and right today.

I can see an assistant of Cronenberg's stumbling on this thread, pointing him to it, he sees the picture, and realizes, "Holy shit -- I had my arm around the balls guy!"
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post #20 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:28pm
My faith in AICN continues to drop seeing how they continue to accept reports from this freak.
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post #21 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:29pm
AICN would accept the report from a Chernobyl squirrel if they could have a scoop 5 minutes in advance.

Fabfunk is typical business for them I guess.
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post #22 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:30pm
Death and depravity doesn't phase Cronenberg, but Fabfunk does.
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post #23 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
I need a picture of Old Bruce Wayne screaming.
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post #24 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:33pm
Dickson, alls I can say is:

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post #25 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:37pm
Holy shit, I love this thread.
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post #26 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:41pm
Next: John Milius tells JWFokker to "lay off the insensitive remarks".
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post #27 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:46pm
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Richard Dickson again
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post #28 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:46pm
Fuckin' fabfunk..
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post #29 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:55pm
thanks for the new CUT, fab.
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post #30 of 77
9/20/07 at 4:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trav McGee
I can see an assistant of Cronenberg's stumbling on this thread, pointing him to it, he sees the picture, and realizes, "Holy shit -- I had my arm around the balls guy!"
I am wishing for this so hard that I'm going to buy a hope chest and put this post in it.
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post #31 of 77
9/20/07 at 5:00pm
Fabfunk freaked out Cronenberg? Shit. Who'll he set his sights on next? David Lynch?
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post #32 of 77
9/20/07 at 5:25pm
Phase two begins now.
Expect to be contacted by Fabfunk soon, Cronenberg's Sister.
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post #33 of 77
9/20/07 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Collins
Fabfunk, you lurking bastard,
You're actually proud of this aren't you?

Well you're fucking up the system with you desire to be famous.
Imagine if you were able to do a stunt that made the Jackass crew go, "That's fucked up man." Wouldn't you be kinda proud of that? How many people can say they got to David Cronenburg?
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post #34 of 77
9/20/07 at 5:40pm
Quote:
Fabfunk freaked out Cronenberg? Shit. Who'll he set his sights on next? David Lynch?
Gasper Noe and Takashi Miike are filing their restraining orders as we speak.
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post #35 of 77
9/20/07 at 6:18pm
To be fair, isn't that the AICN review modus operandi? Compare the film to genitalia interacting with your face.
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post #36 of 77
9/20/07 at 6:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty
Gasper Noe and Takashi Miike are filing their restraining orders as we speak.
And yet Larry Clark has just advanced his meeting closer in time.
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post #37 of 77
9/20/07 at 6:32pm
Cronenberg isn't freaked out, he's amused and probably thinks that Gabe is a not so well closeted homosexual.
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post #38 of 77
9/20/07 at 6:43pm
Fucked. And that is why he didn't write the review for this site.
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post #39 of 77
9/20/07 at 7:07pm
I love that the review asserts that the movie is "barely R-rated" before the bath house scene. Sawing open throats, snipping off fingers, uterine hemhorraging, all PG material next to Viggo's taint.
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post #40 of 77
9/20/07 at 7:08pm
Glad to hear that this is so balls to the wall.
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post #41 of 77
9/20/07 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason P. Thompson
Glad to hear that this is so balls to the wall.
More like balls to the forehead, apparently.
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post #42 of 77
9/20/07 at 8:32pm
God, this is so fucked. Awesome.
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post #43 of 77
9/20/07 at 8:34pm
All we do is add credit to the legend of fabfunk.
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post #44 of 77
9/20/07 at 8:34pm
The legend writes itself, apparently.
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post #45 of 77
9/20/07 at 8:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil!
I love that the review asserts that the movie is "barely R-rated" before the bath house scene. Sawing open throats, snipping off fingers, uterine hemhorraging, all PG material next to Viggo's taint.
This probably boils down to ball envy. Rated R for moments of manhood challenging ball imagery.
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post #46 of 77
9/20/07 at 8:52pm


Fabfunk approves of this thread.
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post #47 of 77
9/20/07 at 8:57pm
And that is why mustaches are bad news.
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post #48 of 77
9/20/07 at 9:03pm
I personally still like the poster Dragon Ma posted awhile back.

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post #49 of 77
9/20/07 at 9:08pm
I think that was the work of Litmus, but I may be mistaken.

Or myers87.
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post #50 of 77
9/20/07 at 9:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7
I think that was the work of Litmus, but I may be mistaken.

Or myers87.
Could be. I only said he posted it a while back.
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