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My Friend and I were attacked by monkeys

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Perusing an old thread when I was reminded of this story:

http://chud.com/forums/showthread.ph...ght=costa+rica

Quote:
My buddy and I were hiking through the Manuel Antonio rainforest of Costa Rica a few years back. We turned a corner on a trail and spotted four or five capuchin monkeys in some low lying branches about thirty yards ahead. I raised my hand and whispered to my buddy to keep quiet and stay to the side of the trail so we wouldn't scare them away.

Like two morons we crept slowly toward the monkeys. We must have done a fairly decent job since they didn't spot us until we had travelled an additional five or six feet. The second the monkeys spotted us two or three of them jumped from the branches and ran straight toward us. One of them jumped onto my chest, grabbed my satchel, and tried to pull it from me. When I didn't let go it screamed at me as loud as it could from a distance of about five inches.

I was petrified. Yes, it was a fifteen pound monkey, but it had black gums and teeth, was missing a few fingers, was incredibly strong for its size, and had big fangs. I didn't let go of my satchel ( I would have, but it was looped around my neck), but I did stop guarding it. The monkey stole my chips and sandwich and ran into a tree.

My buddy was more protective of his lunch, so he sat on the ground while the monkeys poked and yelled at him. I have dozens of photos of the monkeys eating my lunch in the trees (they let us get within two feet of them), and of my friend sitting on the ground being molested by the monkeys. He begged me to chase them off with a stick, but I said "no way". They were frightening, and I advised him to give up his lunch. He refused, and the monkeys eventually gave up.
Sorry about the image quality, did the best I can...if someone can tell me how to rotate and crop images in photobucket or using a free windows program, I will do so. The only one I could rotate so it wasn't upside down was this image of my buddy protecting his chow (don't be fooled by the cuteness of these critters, he was scared out of his mind). I also threw in a random image of my jumping into a waterfall and zip-lining across a canyon (very scary ... you start at ten feet high, then suddenly you're three hundred feet high).




post #2 of 6
Man, I thought this was gonna end with zombies fucking.
post #3 of 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
Man, I thought this was gonna end with zombies fucking.
No, that would just be the second act. It ain't over until someone fires up the mower.
post #4 of 6
Quote:
One of them jumped onto my chest, grabbed my satchel, and tried to pull it from me.
For a second there my balls retracted into my pelvis, reading that.
post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid
For a second there my balls retracted into my pelvis, reading that.
It was hours before mine felt safe enough to re-enter the world.
post #6 of 6
Man, I can't imagine what that was like. I was stalked by monkeys one time--I was jogging along a road in the Philippines and it took a turn through the jungle for about a mile or so. For a while, I was happy to get out of the sun. Then I noticed that there was a huge group of small monkeys paralleling me through the trees. They just kept pace with me as I ran, the lead monkeys about ten meters out ahead of me. When they started chattering louder and louder, I began to get scared but there wasn't anyone else around and no where to safely stop. They paced me like that until I came out of the trees into a residential neighborhood--they stopped before the clearing. By that time, I was in a cold sweat--I just envisioned hundreds of these things ripping me to shreds like some kind of old EC comic. But the bottom line was that they never really made a move for me. To have them on top of me, eating my lunch, would be unbelievable.
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