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So I walk into my house the other day, and what's the first thing I see?

post #1 of 45
10/7/07 at 1:15pm
Thread Starter 
My dad standing in the dining room with his pants around his ankles.

I didn't/won't ask why. He just pulled them up (in no hurry) and I walked by.
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post #2 of 45
10/7/07 at 2:23pm
Was there an apple pie on the table?
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post #3 of 45
10/7/07 at 2:32pm
Thread Starter 
This was a funnier thread topic when I started to remember the incident. I think everyone can just move along.
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post #4 of 45
10/7/07 at 2:34pm
Was your Dad...uh...at attention? That would explain or cancel out certain possibilities.

And don't say you didn't notice, because you know you did.
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post #5 of 45
10/7/07 at 2:46pm
Thread Starter 
Heh. His back was to the door, so thankfully I didn't get a look. I think the incident has more to do with my dad's total lack of shame or attention to how loose fitting his clothes are. He had very saggy briefs on.

*shakes head in disappointment with life*
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post #6 of 45
10/7/07 at 7:12pm
Did he get stung in the balls by a bumblebee and your mother was screaming at you to look at your father's balls?
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post #7 of 45
10/7/07 at 8:40pm
I give up! What did you see?
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post #8 of 45
10/7/07 at 8:50pm
a trio of dead zebras
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post #9 of 45
10/7/07 at 9:30pm
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, he was probably just masturbating or something.
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post #10 of 45
10/7/07 at 10:10pm
Or doing an interpretive dance.
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post #11 of 45
10/7/07 at 10:17pm
I've been on the other end of that. My Dad caught me late one night standing in front of the fridge pantless eating cheese. It was an uncomfortable situation.
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post #12 of 45
10/8/07 at 12:28am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcr39
I've been on the other end of that. My Dad caught me late one night standing in front of the fridge pantless eating cheese. It was an uncomfortable situation.
The nice thing about my dad having no shame is that he can catch me with no pants on and he's not freaked out, nor am I embarrassed. Of course, the only places in my house I'd ever be without pants are in my room or the bathroom.

His failure as a human being has passed on to my brother, who will regularly walk around the house with no shirt or pants on, and even cook that way, which is absolutely disgusting. My dad doesn't care.

The worst of it was possibly when my brother urinated on the floor in the back room of our basement. My mom wanted to punish him, but my dad rationalized it by saying that it was natural and he had to go.

Um, I hope this has been entertaining. Because it sure wasn't when it happened, except in a very sick "I can't believe this" way.

I guess it makes sense given my brother's eventual job choice-Starbucks manager. That is, it's been his life long mission to be a giant douche and get away with it.

He still regularly urinates in the backyard. He's 21.
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post #13 of 45
10/8/07 at 7:39am
You could always smack him with a rolled up newspaper and see if that works. 21 isn't too old to learn that "Peeing on floor or in yard = stinging, eye watering smack across the bridge of the nose."
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post #14 of 45
10/8/07 at 7:55am
Exactly, who among us can say they haven't wanted to spank their naked brother while he pees?
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post #15 of 45
10/8/07 at 12:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
He still regularly urinates in the backyard. He's 21.
Both my brother in law and a large number of my friends do this. I was drinking beer at a friend's house one night and he said "If you need to use the bathroom, it's out there" and pointed to the back door. I thought he was kidding until he got up and walked out the back door and did his business.
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post #16 of 45
10/8/07 at 4:48pm
Pissing inthe backyard is no big deal, especially if he only does it at night. But if he regularly shits in the backyard then you should worry.
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post #17 of 45
10/8/07 at 5:49pm
My dad walked into my room the other day and started sparring with me.I'm used to this, he always does that whole "put em up!" roughhousing thing now and then.but then i let my guard down and he slapped me, so i backhanded him in the eye. He covered his eye and laughed like this: "HEE HEE HEE!" and ran out of the room.
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post #18 of 45
10/9/07 at 1:59pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by le Stephanois
My dad walked into my room the other day and started sparring with me.I'm used to this, he always does that whole "put em up!" roughhousing thing now and then.but then i let my guard down and he slapped me, so i backhanded him in the eye. He covered his eye and laughed like this: "HEE HEE HEE!" and ran out of the room.
Haha. Um.

--------------

My dad's latest escapade: Spending half the day calling people at the Washington Times to get a back order of a single missing page from Sunday's book section and complaining to me about it. And I have to be ready to tell the Times about the missing page if they call and who they can fax it to since my dad's busy dealing with my brother.

My brother has a car, yet for some reason he's out somewhere where he called home and said my dad needs to pick him up. Then he called back and said in an angry tone that he needs a checking account right away, and that my dad needs to drive him to the bank, I guess. And why would my brother say this in an angry tone? Because whenever he needs something fast because he wasn't thinking he gets mad and takes it out on others. He could have gotten a checking account over a year ago when he was complaining that someone was stealing the hundreds of dollars he had in his room.

Or last June or so when more of his money went missing.

I didn't take any of it and can't understand how it went missing or got stolen since no one outside my family goes in his room and I doubt any family member would steal from him, as much as we hate him.

Well, maybe my mom would, since she is a borderline pathological liar.
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post #19 of 45
10/9/07 at 2:01pm
Wow, can I hear more fascinating stories about your family? Seriously, I just can't get enough!
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post #20 of 45
10/9/07 at 2:20pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
Wow, can I hear more fascinating stories about your family? Seriously, I just can't get enough!
With all the stories about odd coworkers, public restroom habits, and what everyone doesn't want to see in pornos, I don't see what's worth getting dickish about in a few posts about my family's bad traits. Or do you police the forums for people who don't talk about movies all the time in threads in non-offensive threads that you don't have to read through?
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post #21 of 45
10/9/07 at 2:25pm
Just that your "family" is a little "amazing", that's all...
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post #22 of 45
10/9/07 at 2:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
With all the stories about odd coworkers, public restroom habits, and what everyone doesn't want to see in pornos, I don't see what's worth getting dickish about in a few posts about my family's bad traits. Or do you police the forums for people who don't talk about movies all the time in threads in non-offensive threads that you don't have to read through?
Probably because "what we don't want to see in pornos, odd coworkers, and public restrooom habits" are topics we can all speak about together, while the personal anecdotes of your family is something we can't.

And if you think that's dickish, you better toughen up if you ever want to post a debatable opinion anywhere on here.

And stick 'em up!
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post #23 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
Just that your "family" is a little "amazing", that's all...
I think it's more that his "family" "escapades" are a bit "fake".
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post #24 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric C
I think it's more that his "family" "escapades" are a bit "fake".
"Fake"? What "makes" you say "that"?
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post #25 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
Well, maybe my mom would, since she is a borderline pathological liar.
I believe he is "projecting", and therefore "sub"consciously coming to terms with the fact that his "mother" is a liar who is desperate for "att"en"tion".
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post #26 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:38pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
Probably because "what we don't want to see in pornos, odd coworkers, and public restrooom habits" are topics we can all speak about together, while the personal anecdotes of your family is something we can't.
You don't have to talk about my family to take part in the discussion, just like you don't have to use the restroom I used at work to have restroom stories.

Quote:
And if you think that's dickish, you better toughen up if you ever want to post a debatable opinion anywhere on here.

And stick 'em up!
I'm not hurt by it. I don't have to be hurt or offended to recognize what's dickish or petty.
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post #27 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
With all the stories about odd coworkers, public restroom habits, and what everyone doesn't want to see in pornos, I don't see what's worth getting dickish about in a few posts about my family's bad traits. Or do you police the forums for people who don't talk about movies all the time in threads in non-offensive threads that you don't have to read through?
Isn't this what you wanted? Attention? Stunt? Poop?
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post #28 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:52pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boomstick
Isn't this what you wanted? Attention? Stunt? Poop?
I just wanted to make an entertaining thread.
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post #29 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
You don't have to talk about my family to take part in the discussion.
So we don't have to talk about your family? In other words, we just get to kick back and listen and listen and listen and...



...listen and listen and listen...
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post #30 of 45
10/9/07 at 4:56pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
So we don't have to talk about your family? In other words, we just get to kick back and listen and listen and listen and...



...listen and listen and listen...
I meant you don't have to tell personal stories about them to be able to discuss them or make funny comments, what with the pants around the ankles and the various things.
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post #31 of 45
10/9/07 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
I just wanted to make an entertaining thread.
You did.
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post #32 of 45
10/9/07 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
I meant you don't have to tell personal stories about them to be able to discuss them or make funny comments, what with the pants around the ankles and the various things.
I suppose you didn't get the biting social commentary you were expecting.
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post #33 of 45
10/9/07 at 5:35pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric C
I suppose you didn't get the biting social commentary you were expecting.
I suppose my second post in this thread gave an idea of where I thought it was going.
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post #34 of 45
10/9/07 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
I meant you don't have to tell personal stories about them to be able to discuss them or make funny comments, what with the pants around the ankles and the various things.
I'm thinking he didn't get why I posted that particular picture in connection with "stories" about his family. "Hmmm?" "Eric?"
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post #35 of 45
10/9/07 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
I'm thinking he didn't get why I posted that particular picture in connection with "stories" about his family. "Hmmm?" "Eric?"
You are simply ruthless today. Keep going!
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post #36 of 45
10/9/07 at 6:13pm
Double post
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post #37 of 45
10/9/07 at 6:15pm
Triple post! Crap!
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post #38 of 45
10/9/07 at 6:17pm
Actual post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
You are simply ruthless today. Keep going!
Is the sleep deprivation making me more witty? I just don't know. I'm not coming up with very good names for Alex's rats.
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post #39 of 45
10/9/07 at 7:55pm
So wait...Poop's stories were completely ficitious?

Or is it we just don't give a shit about them?
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post #40 of 45
10/9/07 at 8:43pm
I once met my dad in his underwear with a raging hard on. I slapped it around a little and that was that.
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post #41 of 45
10/9/07 at 9:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radb707
So wait...Poop's stories were completely ficitious?

Or is it we just don't give a shit about them?
I think a little of both...
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post #42 of 45
10/9/07 at 9:42pm
I actually don't think they're necessarily fictitious. I mean, I don't think they're automatically true either, but I way more just don't care.
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post #43 of 45
10/9/07 at 9:53pm
We should trust with what he says. He's Magruber after all and he is a friggin genius.
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post #44 of 45
10/10/07 at 4:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
I'm thinking he didn't get why I posted that particular picture in connection with "stories" about his family. "Hmmm?" "Eric?"
Ah, I've been gone to long to follow through on that set-up. Maybe I'll make a thread about it.

Quotation marks.
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post #45 of 45
10/10/07 at 8:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric C
Quotation marks.
Heeeeyy.... I feel cheated.
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › So I walk into my house the other day, and what's the first thing I see?