Things you WANT to see in porn

Your sister.

Um....sex?

You know, Monica Bellucci was courted by various porn companies early on in her film career and actually actively considered taking down that path until it dawned on her that she had a future in mainstream cinema. In a more perfect world, her early films would have bombed horribly at the box office and received little to no positive attention from critics.

Well, it's not as if she's been shy about nudity in her "mainstream" career.

Personally, I'd like to see a few of our porn actresses be less passive about things. More communicative. Show more actual *passion*. I know the generic fantasy element about porn is that the man's in charge....but why not take it a little more further into "both of us are into it"?

Few things turn me on more than when my lover is as engaged as I am. I've never ever wanted someone to lay there and "take it". Granted, I don't qualify as the average porn viewer/buyer. But nothing's better than a lascivious partner who's right in the moment with you.

I would like it if the performers involved all had chemistry together. Too many times porn is just mechanical, but its when you get a performer like Jenna Jameson you realize that most porn actresses have no idea how to convey a sense of desire or hunger to be having sex.

Another vote for having chemistry, and at least looking like they're into "it."

Also the shaved look that just about every porn chick has is getting tiresome to me, they need to mix things up a bit. Let's see some bush on these broads.

Bring us a shrubbery!

More Stormy Daniels! And more comedic Randy Spears. The guy is hilarious.

But as for "more bush", keep it trimmed and we're cool. Full on forest isn't good. But we've had this debate countless times.

Less disgusting looking fake tits would be good too. Looking at you Brianna Banks!

And I concur with the more "passionate" sex scenes. That's what makes the Sapphic Erotica stuff so good. That's some hot shit.

Christ, I feel like Fabfunk right now. But with less disappointment in myself.

It's not just about the bush. It's the fact that modern porn stars are generally so unreal-looking. They may as well be making porn with RealDolls. The women look like they're made of industrial plastic anyway. Too much silicon, too much body sculpting, too much collagen. Just find some hot women, and then film them as they are, for god's sake.

Spontaneous orgasms.

Incriminating evidence against your foes.

My first vote would be to have the women in charge in a couple of scenarios. I'm not saying whipping the guy, or yelling or anything like that. But it would be nice to have the traditional dominant male role reversed and have a few of these films where the woman is running things.

And see, I agree with stuff most of you are saying, which is why 70s porn is so great. Natural boobs, natural bush on both men and women, and other than the pounds of blue eyeshadow, they looked more or less like normal people. Okay, make the jokes about Ron Jeremy's gut, but what I mean is, they weren't sculpted within an inch of their lives.

I think also that old-school porn had them acting at least somewhat more natural towards each other. It wasn't what you'd necessarily call "chemistry", which would be nice, I agree with that. But they sure as hell looked like they were more into it than they are these days with those bored looks on their faces. Moaning while they look like they could care less what's going on is dull as hell.

Back for a second to "things I don't want to see in porn", but it relates very much to this: The next porn actress who, while being fucked within an inch of her life, looks away from the guy and into the camera and either snarls or licks her lips is going to personally get smacked from me.

Daniel Benzali
Joe Don Baker
Kiwanis
Manchester United
A dungeonmaster.
FreeJack
Misquamacas
Existentialism

Camera angles.

Also, bring back VHS. Porn looks less hot when it's shiny. It's ahrder to beat off to when you're drunk.

What about dirty-talking into the camera while getting pounded? To me, that's fucking hot.

None of you may shit-talk Fabfunk again.

The Battle of Hoth --- sexified.

You know what we need more of? Fat bald guys sitting in a corner on the set, watching the sex scene while jerking off and licking a stuffed bear's ass. RED SERRANO 10 pioneered this particular element of the genre. Every time we cut to a shot of him beating his overdeveloped meat and panting into the stuffy's anus, I feel like God has personally created a brand new rainbow.

I'm sorry, but you can't take that away. It's in the Constitution.

All the things mentioned here are already in some porn somewhere.

I've always been partial to elbows.

I agree with the need for more "passion" in porn, but as Lucas S. stated, you can find it somewhere. The problem is that you have to go searching for the stuff and with the amount of porn out there, which grows everyday due to the emergence of more and more fetishes on film, and so it's hard to just get to it quickly. Nowadays it's hard for me to watch much mainstream male-female porn. I get off on seeing a woman orgasm, even more when I'm causing it, but in most mainstream films the actresses look like they're faking it. So I watch amateur/homemade porn for male-female sex. More often than not though, for "real" (at least in appearances) female orgasms I look at all girl porn from non-mainstream studios like Girlfriend Films or Viv Thomas.

It wont let me rep Anderson.

My vote?
All brunettes, all the time. No fake boobs ever.

A story!

"If I don't care about the characters, I don't care about the fucking!"

I'd like more 18 year old punk rock chicks with short black/purple hair and glasses with big thick black frames, and I'd like to replace the outdated porn muzak with Dinosaur Jr. and Sonic Youth (and occasionally, Neutral Milk Hotel). I'd like the characters to tell jokes at inappropriate times, and I'd like the girls in the films to be ticklish and giggle. I want the heat of passion to be interupted with 40 second stretches of silence when the girl thinks she hears her mom upstairs. I want scenes of cuddling where they discuss their favorite Disney movie and the guy is trying to explain the Brave Little Toaster to her because she's never seen it, and she laughs at him because it "sounds stupid". I want all films to conclude with the two rummaging through the messy room, looking for their clothes, until one says "Hey, you wanna get something to eat or something?" and the other replies "Yeah, I'm kinda hungry."

Comedy. You can get a lot of laughs from anal sex.

I want to see David Mamet write the screenplay to a porno.

"You want me to fuck you in the ass?"
"The ass."
"The ass?"
"The ass."

Ripoll, you're on to something. I think you've effectively created Hipster porn!

That's actually been around for a while.

And it's as annoying as the real thing.

I vote wholeheartedly for this. Porn reviews in the Arts & Leisure section of the NY Times.

I want to see the original Tawny Roberts again. There was no need for her to get lip implants and breast implants. Yeah, her breast implants are still small and not disgusting looking but still. She was very attractive without all the "enhancements". Now she just looks like another constructed Barbie doll.

Im an amateur when it comes to porn, but what the hell, I'll say it before anyone else does:

-"Classic" Jenna Jameson...dont you all act like you dont know what im talking about.

I cant think of anything else, since Im obviously out of my league here...most porn Ive seen on cable here is actually just "erotica", since its always in french, has a plot, and rarely features fake, enhanced women....really, I have no idea what Im talking about.

I would like more believable porno. Even whn there's only the slightest suggestion for a setup. If you have a scene where a father is seducing the babysitter, make it as awkward and as ill-advised as it is. I dislike when women in pornography merely do what's expected, or assume the position without being approached- in real life, i think it's much hotter whenever you have to turn to your partner and make a request before you indulge in something really naughty. I want a girl to think about whether she wants it in the ass before she says yes- or maybe she even says no!

Also, I want there to be sex scenes broken up by people who just walk in, and to follow the characters and their shame for the rest of the movie.

In short, I want more comedy.

I know this technically isn't "seen" in porn, but can I have my bow-chick-a-bow-wow music back?

We'll run it by the committee at the next convention and see what we can do for you, man.

Personally, I would be glad if I can turn on a porno and the male performer not be such an annoying prick who can't keep his fucking mouth shut for thirty seconds. Also, while we're on the subject, I am really sick of the frat boy dynamic of porn flicks today;

"Hey I got an idea; let's pick up a chick, take her home, fuck her, come on her, and then high five each other like the douchebags we are!"

That's internet porn. There's a difference between the studio porns in San Fernando Valley and internet porn. A huge difference. Internet pron does nothing for me. Shit like "Bang Bus" (which is all fake by the way! Sorry!) and all those other "poor college girl needs money for books!" sites.

Now I'm not saying some of that shit isn't on DVD. I'm sure there's movies made like that. But I avoid those ones. I usually just watch stuff from Vivid. That's really about it. And just to note: we get The Movie Channel here in Canada which airs adult films late at night (after midnight). They edited out cum shots and anal sex though. So sometimes I'll check out a few movies. So it's not like I'm going to stores and buying porn or downloading it like crazy.

Vigo the Carpathian, a bucket of Slime and Lee Hazelwood's corpse.

But, it has to be tasteful and shot in sepia.

There are so many YouPorn type sites now that I would be surprised if anyone does anymore. Maybe there are people who like the dingy aesthetic of porn shops, who knows.

The acting in most rape porn is atrocious. It's also usually shot from too far away. Some production value would be nice.

Speaking of rape porn, Japanese porn is so goddamn creepy. It's always about domination and it doesn't help that the girls scream like they are in pain. I want to like Japanese porn because the girls are cute, but it's almost always annoying and/or creepy. So how about some Japanese porn that doesn't involve forced sex and pained screams.

Your negative tone contrasts with your subject matter. I don't understand?

Yeah, you listed everything that's great about Japanese porn like it's a bad thing.

Besides, if that stuff gets to you, you should check out some Russian porn. That'll give you nightmares.

It sucks that none of the really good porn is in English. I'm missing layers of visceral, emotional connection.

Moaning is universal, baby.