CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Sex › Things you WANT to see in porn
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Things you WANT to see in porn - Page 2

post #51 of 107
10/16/07 at 6:19am
Little people. Lots of little people. An all-midget porn, basically. I know the "actors" are out there, but they're never in the same movie I don't think. One probably exists, but I've sure as hell never seen it.

I don't have some fetish or anything, or even think it's sexy, I just think it would be a hoot.
Of course... I could be very, very wrong.



*this was actually my original post in that other thread, after I misreading the title.
Reply
post #52 of 107
10/16/07 at 10:27am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7
Little people. Lots of little people. An all-midget porn, basically. I know the "actors" are out there, but they're never in the same movie I don't think. One probably exists, but I've sure as hell never seen it.

I don't have some fetish or anything, or even think it's sexy, I just think it would be a hoot.
Of course... I could be very, very wrong.
OH yeah, it exists. It most certainly exists.
Reply
post #53 of 107
10/16/07 at 11:28am
As I posted in the other thread:

the blacker the midget the sweeter the juice

No, I haven't seen it. It just has the funniest porn title ever. Quite memorable once you've heard of it.
Reply
post #54 of 107
10/16/07 at 11:56am
Well it doesn't get Mickey Mouse's seal of approval:

"Not very well acted. NOTHING erotic about ANY of this movie. Don't waste a rental slot on this one."
Reply
post #55 of 107
10/16/07 at 12:06pm
Pterodactyls.
Reply
post #56 of 107
10/16/07 at 12:23pm
Well, actually...
Reply
post #57 of 107
10/16/07 at 12:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by B_MetalSucks
I know this technically isn't "seen" in porn, but can I have my bow-chick-a-bow-wow music back?
I know what ya mean. How else am I going to score the 70s cop intro that I've been wanting to do for years.
Reply
post #58 of 107
10/16/07 at 1:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios
Pterodactyls.

I can be the dick that makes the link to this, if you really want to see it.
Reply
post #59 of 107
10/16/07 at 2:34pm
I'd like to see the plumber do his goddamn job for once. Some poor guy called him to unclog the toilet, not bone his wife.
Reply
post #60 of 107
10/16/07 at 8:24pm
Maybe she needed some unclogging herself, with the aid of his plunger?
Reply
post #61 of 107
10/16/07 at 10:05pm
You know those Skinemax soft core movies with a plot, decent (not great) acting, good cinematography? That but hardcore.
Reply
post #62 of 107
10/16/07 at 11:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson
I can be the dick that makes the link to this, if you really want to see it.
After seeing two-three mentions of this I gave up and did a Yahoo! search and...

Well.

Charming, I gotta say.
Reply
post #63 of 107
10/17/07 at 3:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson
I can be the dick that makes the link to this, if you really want to see it.
That's OK, I've already seen it. That's why I want more.
Reply
post #64 of 107
10/17/07 at 6:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belethedheliel
As I posted in the other thread:

the blacker the midget the sweeter the juice

No, I haven't seen it. It just has the funniest porn title ever. Quite memorable once you've heard of it.
Maybe I take it back. That looks like quite the opposite of a "hoot".
Reply
post #65 of 107
10/17/07 at 8:37am
I've always been a big fan of Playboy, so I'd like to see more Playmates do hard core porn, besides Teri Weigel. Alas, most of my all time favorites are too old now, but there are some very hot younger Playmates that would fit the bill.
Reply
post #66 of 107
10/17/07 at 9:13am
You know what's missing? Good porno names. I miss cheesy, but oh so funny, names like Lance Boil, Christy Chesty, Dick Stiffrod, Chest Rockwell, Sophie Headlights, Holly Wood, etc.

I used to work with a guy named Dick Cummings - the one name his parents should've dropped from the shortlist, and they go ahead and use it. No, he never became a porn star, but the guy could run a Gallus and slit rolls of holographic laminate like nobody's business. Naked.
Reply
post #67 of 107
10/17/07 at 12:36pm
There's a guy named Brandon Iron that makes some pretty popular stuff who's still around. There's a gag that you can come up w/ your porn star name by using as your first name your pet's name, and the name of the street where your childhood home's located as your last.

By that logic, my porn name would be Buddy Pine.
Reply
post #68 of 107
10/17/07 at 12:41pm
Timmy RockCrest, nice to meet ya.
Reply
post #69 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:12pm
I don't have a pet, so my porno name is just "Congress" which is weaker than weak sauce.
Reply
post #70 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:18pm
Stitch Drexel, how the hell are ya?
Reply
post #71 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:20pm
Snydley Drayton-Green, at your service.

Classy, villainous, and sexy as all get-out.
Reply
post #72 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:37pm
A gangbang filmed in Matrixesque bullet time.
Reply
post #73 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg
There's a gag that you can come up w/ your porn star name by using as your first name your pet's name, and the name of the street where your childhood home's located as your last. .
Heh heh...


my name would be: Duke Belair. Though really I might as well just use my real last name and do torture porn.
Reply
post #74 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:53pm
A porno set in the wild west, with horses, hookers with hearts of gold, a crazy old prospector, some injuns, and stuff. That or a sports related porno, shot in a real stadium, with commentary by John Madden -
"What the hell are they doing on the 50 yard line, John?"
"Don, they're GOING ALL THE WAY!!!" (cue boom-chick-a-wa-wa music here).
Reply
post #75 of 107
10/17/07 at 1:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
A porno set in the wild west, with horses, hookers with hearts of gold, a crazy old prospector, some injuns, and stuff. That or a sports related porno, shot in a real stadium, with commentary by John Madden -
"What the hell are they doing on the 50 yard line, John?"
"Don, they're GOING ALL THE WAY!!!" (cue boom-chick-a-wa-wa music here).
"Did you see that!? He just 'muffed' the punter" - John Madden
"Well you could have driven a truck trough those holes in the O-line." - Al Michaels
Reply
post #76 of 107
10/17/07 at 2:18pm
I fucking hate the standard porn formular. I actually want a little more "story" to my porn and more buildup to the actual sex scenes. And when the scene then starts it's the same thing over and over. 1 minut taking clothes off, 1 minut pussylick, 6 minutes blowjob (hate watching fucking blowjobs), 3 minute missionary, 3 minute girl on top, 8 minute doggystyle (hate watching that too), and a cumshot to the tits or face.

I want more grinding dammit
Reply
post #77 of 107
10/17/07 at 2:30pm
Buddy Puget Sound, at your service.
Reply
post #78 of 107
10/17/07 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I'd like more 18 year old punk rock chicks with short black/purple hair and glasses with big thick black frames, and I'd like to replace the outdated porn muzak with Dinosaur Jr. and Sonic Youth (and occasionally, Neutral Milk Hotel). I'd like the characters to tell jokes at inappropriate times, and I'd like the girls in the films to be ticklish and giggle. I want the heat of passion to be interupted with 40 second stretches of silence when the girl thinks she hears her mom upstairs. I want scenes of cuddling where they discuss their favorite Disney movie and the guy is trying to explain the Brave Little Toaster to her because she's never seen it, and she laughs at him because it "sounds stupid". I want all films to conclude with the two rummaging through the messy room, looking for their clothes, until one says "Hey, you wanna get something to eat or something?" and the other replies "Yeah, I'm kinda hungry."
When I read this I heard it in Kevin Costner's Bull Durham voice.
Reply
post #79 of 107
10/17/07 at 10:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
Stitch Drexel, how the hell are ya?
Fuck, I KNEW you'd have a good one! hee hee hee!
Reply
post #80 of 107
10/17/07 at 10:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
A porno set in the wild west, with horses, hookers with hearts of gold, a crazy old prospector, some injuns, and stuff. That or a sports related porno, shot in a real stadium, with commentary by John Madden -
"What the hell are they doing on the 50 yard line, John?"
"Don, they're GOING ALL THE WAY!!!" (cue boom-chick-a-wa-wa music here).
I presume by now something like that, but I'm sure not in the quality way you envision, has in fact been tried. The closest thing I can think of to the concept is that "Pirates" flick w/ Janine & Jenna Jameson and Jesse Jane in it. I haven't seen it, but supposedly it was a big budget affair w/ plot elements & such. AVN raved about it, according to the blurbs on the DVD case's front cover. Has anyone else seen this? Does it even come close to living up to the hype? I don't expect miracles from porn actresses, but does it at least look like they (or the director, or producers or somebody) TRIED to make a "cut above" kind of porn?
Reply
post #81 of 107
10/17/07 at 11:57pm
I didn't watch the whole thing, but from what I saw it was just a glossier version of a standard porn.
Reply
post #82 of 107
10/18/07 at 12:47am
If I ever get into porn, my stage name is going to be Richard Dickson.
Reply
post #83 of 107
10/18/07 at 1:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Shaver
If I ever get into porn, my stage name is going to be Richard Dickson.
I will be Dick Johnson and we can fight crime together.
Reply
post #84 of 107
10/18/07 at 9:28am
I'd like to see a porno movie with lots of crying, you know, a real tear jerker.
Reply
post #85 of 107
10/18/07 at 9:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by englebert
Buddy Puget Sound, at your service.
Nice to meetcha. Nibbles Mason, I'm new around here.
Reply
post #86 of 107
10/18/07 at 11:24am
I suppose that'd make mine "Ceaser County Road 257", but that somehow seems underwhelming as a stage name.
Reply
post #87 of 107
10/18/07 at 1:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg
There's a guy named Brandon Iron that makes some pretty popular stuff who's still around. There's a gag that you can come up w/ your porn star name by using as your first name your pet's name, and the name of the street where your childhood home's located as your last.

By that logic, my porn name would be Buddy Pine.
See by this logic, my porn name would be Sonic Kathrine. That's why in case of sucky porn names I employ the "Johnny Knoxville" method of porn mames i.e. your middle name and the city you were born or raised in. I.e. Sonic Kathrine becomes Stuart Van Nuys. Now that's a porn name.
Reply
post #88 of 107
10/18/07 at 1:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by englebert
I will be Dick Johnson and we can fight crime together.
Johnson/Dickson, they fight crime.

Which then makes me wonder if I could attatch my long gestating Private Eye show called "Dick Jesus, P.I." to this.
Reply
post #89 of 107
10/18/07 at 1:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I'd like more 18 year old punk rock chicks with short black/purple hair and glasses with big thick black frames, and I'd like to replace the outdated porn muzak with Dinosaur Jr. and Sonic Youth (and occasionally, Neutral Milk Hotel). I'd like the characters to tell jokes at inappropriate times, and I'd like the girls in the films to be ticklish and giggle. I want the heat of passion to be interupted with 40 second stretches of silence when the girl thinks she hears her mom upstairs. I want scenes of cuddling where they discuss their favorite Disney movie and the guy is trying to explain the Brave Little Toaster to her because she's never seen it, and she laughs at him because it "sounds stupid". I want all films to conclude with the two rummaging through the messy room, looking for their clothes, until one says "Hey, you wanna get something to eat or something?" and the other replies "Yeah, I'm kinda hungry."
Track 1
Reply
post #90 of 107
10/18/07 at 2:19pm
swedish miyagi and witchesbrew, but only if we could be there live and heckle them.
Reply
post #91 of 107
10/18/07 at 2:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
See by this logic, my porn name would be Sonic Kathrine. That's why in case of sucky porn names I employ the "Johnny Knoxville" method of porn mames i.e. your middle name and the city you were born or raised in. I.e. Sonic Kathrine becomes Stuart Van Nuys. Now that's a porn name.
Then by that logic, I'd be Newlin Jackson, which sounds like a law firm. But Sonic Katherine does sound like the name for a really cool alternative band.
Reply
post #92 of 107
10/18/07 at 2:55pm
Razor cocked gorillas.
Reply
post #93 of 107
10/18/07 at 3:10pm
Your pet's name was 'Razor Cocked'? What kinda sick fuck are you??!
Reply
post #94 of 107
10/18/07 at 3:13pm
Well he does have a razor cock. What else was I supposed to call him?
Reply
post #95 of 107
10/18/07 at 3:17pm
Queenie June

or

Lynn Alpena?

Neither of them seem very sexy... Not fair.
Reply
post #96 of 107
10/18/07 at 3:31pm
I think I prefer Buddy Puget Sound over Jason Tacoma.

Queenie seems sexier, but mostly because it sounds like a stripper name. There are just certain names I would never use for a future daughter for that very reason, see Barbie, Candi, Lolita.
Reply
post #97 of 107
10/18/07 at 3:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer smile
Queenie June

or

Lynn Alpena?

Neither of them seem very sexy... Not fair.
Summer Smile(s) is pretty much a porn name by itself.
Reply
post #98 of 107
10/23/07 at 12:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
See by this logic, my porn name would be Sonic Kathrine. That's why in case of sucky porn names I employ the "Johnny Knoxville" method of porn mames i.e. your middle name and the city you were born or raised in. I.e. Sonic Kathrine becomes Stuart Van Nuys. Now that's a porn name.
Using this formula, mine sounds more like a gangster name: Joe Jersey City. I guess it's have to be "Joey" Jersey City to be really authentic gangster. But not much of a porn name.
Reply
post #99 of 107
10/23/07 at 12:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luca S.
Summer Smile(s) is pretty much a porn name by itself.
What he said, but Queenie June ain't bad.
Reply
post #100 of 107
10/23/07 at 1:38pm
I saw a porn site called "Blowjob Ninjas" recently... whatever it is, we need more of that in porn.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Sex
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Sex › Things you WANT to see in porn