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Things You Learned About Your Significant Other After You Started Dating  

post #1 of 295
10/13/07 at 7:50pm
Thread Starter 
I spent five years with a girl named Rachel who had a checkered past. I knew she'd been kicked out of school for possession of drugs, and I knew that her parents were both basket cases, but when Rachel and I met, she was at a community college, working a steady job, and trying to get her life on track.

Then I learned about her previous two jobs. The first was at a local McDonalds, where she worked the drive thru. She would take turns jerking off her male co-workers onto the burgers before bagging the orders and giving them to the customers. True story.

The second job was at a local movie theater, where the male employees had set up an old mattress in the basement of the building so that whenever one of the male employees got a hard-on, they could take Rachel downstairs and fuck her. Also a true story.

We were together five years, Rachel and I. I learned quite a bit, right up to the very end, that scared the shit out of me. Last I heard she was bartending at a local watering hole and was caught fucking one of the patrons in the public bathroom. The owner decided not to fire her as long as she's be willing to suck his dick whenever he requested it. She complied, and was only fired when she was caught stealing from the register to support her coke addiction. And yes, that's also a true story.
post #2 of 295
10/13/07 at 7:53pm
That she was a fucking bitch.
post #3 of 295
10/13/07 at 7:59pm
On our last date, my last girlfriend shared the following tidbit with me: She not only liked to watch her sister and her lesbian lover have sex but she had also participated in the act with them several times. Also, a gay couple she was friends with apparently wanted to know what heterosexual sex was like, so she let them tag team her.
post #4 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by erik myers
...She would take turns jerking off her male co-workers onto the burgers before bagging the orders and giving them to the customers ...

...that whenever one of the male employees got a hard-on, they could take Rachel downstairs and fuck her...

... was caught fucking one of the patrons in the public bathroom. The owner decided not to fire her as long as she's be willing to suck his dick whenever he requested it. ...

Classy gal. How did you find all this out? She tell you herself?
post #5 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:13pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raspberry Leper
Classy gal. How did you find all this out? She tell you herself?
She told me the first two. As if we were discussing the weather. She was laughing about it -- the sort of laugh that indicates no sense of remorse or even understanding of the implications of her past actions. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said a chill went up my spine.

That last tidbit was offered up by one of her former co-workers. I have absolutely no idea what happened to her.
post #6 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:15pm
This is going to be a very fun thread.

I have nothing flashy other than finding out that she had a nasty, nasty coke habit, and could not only see, but talk to, the ghosts living in her house.
post #7 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:16pm
Just remind me never to have unprotected sex with you, erik meyers.


Also - jesus, man. Grow some standards.
post #8 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus
Just remind me never to have unprotected sex with you, erik meyers.


Also - jesus, man. Grow some standards.
1) I'm clean. I made sure of it.
2) How do I "grow some standards" when I knew none of this going in?
post #9 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:19pm
Charlie Sheen has a long lost sister (no don't make fun of Emilio).

Standards help.
post #10 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:28pm
That he was married.
post #11 of 295
10/13/07 at 8:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain
On our last date, my last girlfriend shared the following tidbit with me: She not only liked to watch her sister and her lesbian lover have sex but she had also participated in the act with them several times. .
That's heaven in my book.*

*Provided the sister and lesbian lover were/are/is hot.
post #12 of 295
10/13/07 at 9:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by erik myers
2) How do I "grow some standards" when I knew none of this going in?
Either she was simply trying to freak you out, or that sort of behavior would carry with it symptoms apparent in the first few weeks.
Not to say first few minutes.
post #13 of 295
10/13/07 at 9:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by erik myers
She told me the first two. As if we were discussing the weather. She was laughing about it -- the sort of laugh that indicates no sense of remorse or even understanding of the implications of her past actions. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said a chill went up my spine.

That last tidbit was offered up by one of her former co-workers. I have absolutely no idea what happened to her.
Lemme get her digits.
post #14 of 295
10/13/07 at 9:08pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus
Either she was simply trying to freak you out, or that sort of behavior would carry with it symptoms apparent in the first few weeks.
Not to say first few minutes.
Look, man: don't judge. The point of this thread is to share stories, not to engage in armchair analysis.

And for the record: it was only after she went off her prescription medicine that she shared that with me. And it was once she went off said medicine that she transformed into a very different and very scary person. When I realized how heavy her dosage was and exactly how unstable she was, things ended quickly.
post #15 of 295
10/13/07 at 9:23pm
You're kinda right, I was judging there. Sorry. It was just a bit shocking.
I'll share, it's unfair if I don't.


Couple years back I was dating this girl that was 5 years younger than me, her being 18 at the time. After some time, she told me her previous boyfriend was much older than me. 32, to be exact.

I never got comfortable with that.


Also, she admitted to once being in a long lesbian relationship, but that her and her companion both saw men from time to time. Wasn't as hot as I had imagined.
post #16 of 295
10/13/07 at 9:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan
That's heaven in my book.*

*Provided the sister and lesbian lover were/are/is hot.
What a wonderful provision, Brendan. Unfortunately, while the sisters were, indeed, hot--one was built like a burlesque girl and the other had a leaner but still voluptous frame--the sister's lover was built like a fucking linebacker. I don't even think the word "mannish" does her justice. She was like man to the fifteenth power . . . but with a female reproductive system. I took the incest thing to be a major "warning sign" (see? I recognized those once). How did things go for them when I stopped seeing her?

The girlfriend worked at a bakery near campus. One of the regular customers proposed marriage to her and she accepted two weeks after our last date. Within a month of our breakup, she was married. (The man was fifty-two, btw.)

What happned to the sister and her linebacker, I don't know.
post #17 of 295
10/13/07 at 10:28pm
About 8 months after my divorce, my ex-wife made the first of three phone calls to me.

The first was around Christmas, and consisted of "I want to have a baby". My response was sorry I can't help you with that. Good luck.

Second was six months later, when she called and said "I need to apologize for the following inappropriate relationships while we were together" (15 years if you count dating and engagement). Then she reeled off 6 names, one of whom had been a friend of mine at one point.

The final phone call was that next Christmas. She said "You were right. We could have worked things out. I should have listened to you."

I then asked her if she'd taken any money out of my wallet, or not given me an important phone message? She said No. So I told her that I didn't need to know I was right. I didn't need to know who'd she'd been with. I didn't need to know she wanted a baby now. What I *did* need was for there to be no more FUCKING PHONE CALLS FROM HER, thank you very much.

That pretty much nipped it in the bud. She did call several years later when she found out I was going to be a father. But that was short and sweet and to the point and I thanked her and wished her well on her life and that was that.
post #18 of 295
10/13/07 at 10:39pm
I like this thread. I'm not sure why. It makes me feel somewhat better. Good job. I want more coke whore handjob stories. It makes me wish I had worked fast food in high school.
post #19 of 295
10/13/07 at 10:51pm
My ex-girlfriend would get mad at me for shit I did in her dreams.
post #20 of 295
10/13/07 at 11:05pm
Was it annoying shit?
post #21 of 295
10/13/07 at 11:11pm
There's gonna be enough material in this thread for 3 Kevin Smith movies pretty soon.
post #22 of 295
10/13/07 at 11:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Supremo
There's gonna be enough material in this thread for 3 John Waters movies pretty soon.
Fixed.

I had an ex later admit that she used to pretend to be sick to get me to stay home with her instead of going out with my friends. She even faked a hospital trip once (pretended that she thought her appendix burst) just so I wouldn't go camping with my friends for the weekend.

My friends and I now refer to her as "psycho bitch" whenever she comes up in conversation.
post #23 of 295
10/13/07 at 11:52pm
I was with this girl and her mother moved back to the South and a couple weeks later, my girl tearfully says her mom is dead. She flies back home to the funeral.

Cut to about a month later..

Things between us were dying down between us anyway because I was slowly figuring out things were not right in her head.

And then came the night her mom called my house(She was staying there for a little while). Now, I was pretty confident it was her because she had a very distinctive accent, both Irish and southern. My girl tried to convince me it was her crazy aunt, but I had never met her aunt and the woman on the phone acted like she knew me.

That was a weird relationship.
post #24 of 295
10/14/07 at 1:40am
Dated a girl for a bit over a year, we talked marriage and a future. So I'm at the jewelry story looking for the right ring, when perfect timing, she calls. I excuse myself and go out to talk to her since I did not want her to over hear anything in the background. She then breaks up with me over the phone, telling me how she met a guy who she called "monster cock". when asked why so wont come and end this to my face, she then starts crying, stating that she was scared that I was going to cut off her legs, why I have no idea. After all this and in my sense of shock, I walk back into the store, told the sales clerk everything and left her with a look of shock. Drove to Best Buy and spend the 2 grand on the PC that I'm using now to type this. Weeks later he dumped her ass since she got to be a "nagging annoying fuck" oh and someone told him she had herpes, (my friends rock)
post #25 of 295
10/14/07 at 1:53am
She's too focused on her education/future/career to put any time or effort into a relationship. And it only took her two years to let me know that.
post #26 of 295
10/14/07 at 2:10am
She's a female.
post #27 of 295
10/14/07 at 2:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric C
She's a female.
Was there some doubt?
post #28 of 295
10/14/07 at 2:13am
She told me after about 2 years together that her ex-girlfriend from high school was a Suicide Girl, and had invited her to a photo shoot and asked her to do a shoot with her. This was all well before we were together, and I called bull shit on it until she provided me photos of them on the trip to the shoot, but not of an actual shoot. She said she had no interest in doing a shoot, but my ex was never sexually repressed, and I am still scared I am going to end up running across some amateur site with her on it.

Oh and she also had a friend lie to me when she was sick in the hospital that she had died, and when my parents called her folks to try and get something out of someone up there (long distance relationship) the ex called me later yelling and screaming at me that my parents had called her parents. This after I spent the previous...oh 14 hours? Flipping out and crying that the women I loved was dead and I can't get hold of anyone there to see what happened.

Happy relationship at the end there
post #29 of 295
10/14/07 at 2:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belethedheliel
Was there some doubt?
Yes. At first I felt like I could have reasonable conversations with her, but then it deteriorated into arguments about why I didn't pay enough attention to her at social events, and if I wanted to watch the Style Channel.

Oh, wait, you were making a sexual orientation reference. Yeah, I thought it was a dude, and I was disappointed she didn't have a cock. Fucking rotten luck.
post #30 of 295
10/14/07 at 2:36am
Most of the girls I dated turned out to be really, really, really dull. You'd think this sort of thing would be apparent at the first conversation, but...
post #31 of 295
10/14/07 at 3:06am
She carved my name into her arm to get my attention, but she never showed it to me before we started dating.
post #32 of 295
10/14/07 at 3:34am
That's the next step after "I heart so and so" scribbled all over a highschool notebook. Way creepier though.
post #33 of 295
10/14/07 at 3:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Syd
Most of the girls I dated turned out to be really, really, really dull. You'd think this sort of thing would be apparent at the first conversation, but...
If a woman is hot enough, dull can go unnoticed for years. I've been a big admirer of one of my wife's friends for some time, and I only recently noticed that she doesn't have a single interesting thing to say. It's the magic of being male.
post #34 of 295
10/14/07 at 3:50am
Hot and dull is horrible, although it's better than unattractive and dull.

Hot and crazy, however... Awesome and exciting, but that usually ends in tears.
post #35 of 295
10/14/07 at 4:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7
Hot and dull is horrible, although it's better than unattractive and dull.

Hot and crazy, however... Awesome and exciting, but that usually ends in tears.
Yes, yes it does. But the tears can be somewhat worth it. A girl who is claw at the pavement crazy but has an ass that can make grown men cry with tears of joy will probably wreak havoc on your emotional state but . . . fucking hell looking at that thing is worth it.
post #36 of 295
10/14/07 at 8:06am
He was a homophobe. I found this out, unfortunately, after wasting three years with him. But the second some of the things he said about "those people" were out of his mouth, the immediate first thought that ran through my mind was, "Okay, I'm gonna have to end this. I can't be with someone like this." There were a bunch of other factors, too, and I was already thinking very seriously about ending things. But that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
post #37 of 295
10/14/07 at 8:09am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
He was a homophobe. I found this out, unfortunately, after wasting three years with him. But the second some of the things he said about "those people" were out of his mouth, the immediate first thought that ran through my mind was, "Okay, I'm gonna have to end this. I can't be with someone like this." There were a bunch of other factors, too, and I was already thinking very seriously about ending things. But that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
So in other words, he was a Christian.
post #38 of 295
10/14/07 at 8:27am
My last girlfriend turned out to be obsessive and was only with me cause she wanted someone to have a baby with her. And this was only after we were together for two weeks. I ran the hell away from that relationship.

That and the fact that she had a rotten pussy. Stank to high heaven.
post #39 of 295
10/14/07 at 9:33am
Wait, do these necessarily have to be bad things? 'Cause I've learned a great many good things about the gal I've been after for nigh on four years. Hell, we just got engaged!
post #40 of 295
10/14/07 at 9:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyShmun
Wait, do these necessarily have to be bad things? 'Cause I've learned a great many good things about the gal I've been after for nigh on four years. Hell, we just got engaged!
You're doing it wrong!
post #41 of 295
10/14/07 at 10:30am
I dated Erik Myers for about 3 months, we broke up when I found out he was being written by Kevin Smith.
post #42 of 295
10/14/07 at 10:37am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid
I dated Erik Myers for about 3 months, we broke up when I found out he was being written by Kevin Smith.
I wish to God I was making that shit up, because I put my dick in her. Many times.

And for the record, Kevin Smith sucks more than my ex.
post #43 of 295
10/14/07 at 11:09am
About 8 years ago I was in a "friends with benefits" situation with a woman whom I knew had issues, but had not ventured to guess just how bad they were. I was coping with some of my own shit at the time so I wasn't all that judgmental. She was fun, bisexual and very kinky - all things a lad in his early 20's could appreciate.

So one night I get a call at work from her asking if I'd like to participate in an orgy with some friends of hers. Being young and naive, I thought this sounded like a GREAT idea and headed straight over to her place after work.

Turned out the orgy consisted of her, some weird foreign guy who barely spoke English, and two skeezy looking crack whores (literally! They only showed interest when crack was offered!)

Needless to say, that was the last I saw of that chick. And no, I did not participate. Also cut back on the booze after that.
post #44 of 295
10/14/07 at 11:29am
About a year ago, I got out of a 1.5 year relationship with an interesting young lady. Things I learned:

- In HS, her drug dealer bf would like to watch her blow his friends.
- He knocked her up, but she lost the pregnancy after a couple months.
- He eventually got HIV while they were dating. She told me she was tested like crazy the first 6-8 months after that and nothing ever came up positive. She then got tested yearly for the next 3-4 years to be safe.
post #45 of 295
10/14/07 at 12:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyShmun
Wait, do these necessarily have to be bad things? 'Cause I've learned a great many good things about the gal I've been after for nigh on four years. Hell, we just got engaged!
Man, take your sunshine somewhere else! This is the thread where men avoid responsibility and refuse to admit their bad judgement by blaming it on people being fundamentally insane.

I won't lie, that girl I dated that liked me to strangle her while we had sex, that girl that tried to get me tease her with a knife as foreplay, I knew she wasn't very balanced.

But I also knew she was hot and had an amazing ass, and that was enough for me.
post #46 of 295
10/14/07 at 12:55pm
I briefly dated a girl who was in the tail end of a relationship (abusive boyfriend, etc.). She told me this story about how she was despondent in her life, and she met a mysterious man who told her things were going to be OK, then disappeared. She was convinced this guy was an angel, and that she'd still hear from him time to time.

Quick question, class: what are angels? Dead people!

She then dumped me for a bartender she introduced me to on our first date. I understand it became the latest in a LONG string of abusive relationships (excluding me, of course. I don't roll that way) - this one lovingly put her through a glass table.
post #47 of 295
10/14/07 at 12:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225

She then dumped me for a bartender she introduced me to on our first date. I understand it became the latest in a LONG string of abusive relationships (excluding me, of course. I don't roll that way) - this one lovingly put her through a glass table.
Remember: the quickest way to a woman's heart is through her rib cage.
post #48 of 295
10/14/07 at 12:59pm
The girl I mentioned in the last post had been in a few abusive situations.

I don't hold it against her that she dumped me, the guy that was the nicest to her, for yet another cokehead fuckup.
These girls are victims, and it'll always pain me how I couldn't do anything to bring her some permanent psychological stability. I'm glad that I was at least a respite from jerks for her.
post #49 of 295
10/14/07 at 1:07pm
I found out that he was really, really into Ayn Rand and was the kind of guy who would start a gun club. The last tidbit came out about 5 1/4 years into a 6-year relationship. Coincidence? Hardly.

That was the last significant other. The current one snores sometimes. That's about the worst of it.
post #50 of 295
10/14/07 at 1:13pm
So when did you break up with DaveB?
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