Things You Learned About Your Significant Other After You Started Dating - Page 6  

No, the Movie Forum is still the Movie Forum, right where it always was. This is the Chewers Forum.

Didn't he just talk about the circumstances in which he posts in movie forums, which is what you seem to be encouraging? Exactly how dedicated are you to chasing readers away?

This is stupid. Did I go to that thread and give people a hard time? You were the one who trotted it out in some other thread as The Great CHUD Thread Of the Moment and I told you why I didn't post in it.

What's so annoying about so many of the people posting here right now is that they take this "Well then shut everything down if you don't like it!" attitude, as if it's either WE WILL ONLY TALK ABOUT OUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS or WE WILL ONLY TALK ABOUT MOVIES. I'm talking about balance here. When the most active threads are dumb ones like this, I see that as a problem with a movie message board. I want to see thriving MOVIE DISCUSSIONS, even if they're not discussions I want to take part in, because it means there's a community of film lovers here.

And if you can't get out to the new movies, oh well. We have forums about old fucking movies too, and you can start a conversation about a movie you just rented or caught on TV or something. Obviously I'd love to see as many people here engaged in current films, but I'd rather see 200 more STAR WARS threads than one more bullshit thread like this one, frankly.

And I'd like to see how often people get shit on for their movie opinions on this board. Things get heated, but that fall back of 'Oh they'll be mean to me!' is crapola. Unless you're writing like a 10 year old on AIM or are a well-known moron like fabfunk, most people don't get shit on in the movie threads.

But if you don't want a lot of "ooh! I want to see that" and "me too!" comments then why aren't you surprised that there aren't a lot of posting in the movie threads?

Some of us, who don't work as writers with relatively flexible hours, have to be at our jobs at certain times of the day. Some of us have families, other responsibilities.

I can't go see every movie that I want to, because I'm too busy, and I have more than film in my life. I don't get to do every triathlon, watch every rugby match, have dinner with friends, etc either. It's a constant balancing act to enjoy my life and have my career (which I both love and so I can afford things like $14 movie tickets).

Sometimes I go out of my way to see a film but I can't leave my house at 9:20, barely make it to the 11:05 Lust, Caution at the Arclight, and get home at 3:30 - 4 in the morning, and have to work the next day at 8 for every film that's not in my podunk suburb.

Often by the time I've seen something, there's 2 pages about it. Often that means what I was thinking has already been said. So maybe I rep the person who said it and move on. Otherwise, we get berated for being repetitive and not contributing to the boards by making "me, too" type comments.

I don't know squat about the history of film. I can't remember who directed or DP'd or produced anything. I can barely remember who was acting in films. So making grand conclusions about film, a director's progress? Rare for me to comment, and I usually get it wrong (see my Ang Lee/Wong Kar Wai reference; and my sincere thanks to Nathan who keeps me from making too much further of an ass of myself).

I have learned from this place, and it certainly has put me onto films I'd likely never have seen otherwise.

But am I ever going to have great philosophical contributions? Of course not. But that's ok. Because CHUD is a place for all film lovers.

Or at least I used to think so.

It may not be a classic thread, but dammit, people were trying, and if the conversation is going to get any better, people have to walk before they can run. And someone with your weight calling it banal probably isn't going to make people want to keep talking.

I understand that you don't have the time to be more of a force on the boards, but, I don't know, people listen to you, maybe if instead of just posting the link to the article when you start a thread, you post a line or two of something to move the discussion along (and this goes for all the writers, really). It might keep the review/article threads from being endless variations on "Nice job", and might inspire more discussion.

I'm just trying to offer suggestions instead of getting into another argument.

Then why are there forums for these discussions? Why have a Chewer's Catch-All? Or a Sex forum?

And there have been times when movie threads were hot. LOTR, Star Wars; it's not like there aren't times when everyone is psyched about something.

But for the bourgeois, we all have had significant others. And apparently crazy ones at that. We don't all know film history, or the ability to compose a thesis on the influence of Citizen Kane. So sometimes we'll come together in our common humanity.

Isn't that part of what film does?

Give. Me. A. Break.

So you can't get to LUST, CAUTION. You didn't see anything else this week, on TV or DVD? You can only talk about films you saw within the last 72 hours, perhaps?

I also like the idea that these boards apparently harbor a cabal of geniuses who can say everything ever worth saying about a movie within 20 some-odd posts.

Also, Belethdiesl, there's a thing called imdb.com. You can look movies and filmmakers up there. Since a message board conversation isn't generally in real time, you usually have that opportunity.

I didn't wade into that thread and disrupt it. You had to bring it up to use 'against' me in another thread. I was letting the people walk, crawl, what the fuck ever, because I never posted in that thread.

When I write a main page article I spend 20 minutes coming up with things to say. I try to say what I want to say in the article. Why should i be posting a line or two in the thread to move discussion along? It seems like the problem here is that I am assuming everyone on this board is an adult with intelligence while you want me to be the schoolteacher.

Oh nevermind.

It's posts like this that make me wonder if you're even a real person. Who the fuck is comparing theses on CITIZEN KANE on this board? Jesus Christ.

Try reading. I did see Lust, Caution. And posted in that thread.

And as someone who normally works 80 hours or more a week runing my own veterinary practice, and has no TV (not to mention no interest in one), trains for triathlons, has a social life, is studying for advanced board certification, trying to follow world cup rugby, not to mention preparing for my upcoming trip to New Zealand... no, I didn't see anything else this week. Not since The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, a thread in which I also posted.

Sorry that film isn't such a low priority in my life. Guess I don't qualify to post here.

Oh, and as for looking things up on IMDb? I do, when I have time. Doesn't mean I'm going to make great philosophical contributions, though. I can see that Deakins was DP on TAOJJBTCRF, but I've only seen 3 of his last decade of films, so it's a little hard for me to make comments about that. What am I going to say? Wow, in the 12 years since he shot Fargo he's change the way he films snow?

Oh, and cut and paste Belethedheliel if you can't spell it, jackass.

Well, apparently whatever we do write about film isn't good enough. I thought maybe a thesis on Citizen Kane was what you were expecting. I mean, apparently being excited about a film is a no-no, and so is saying that you enjoyed it, or that you share other's opinions about it. Just how pithy do we have to be to get the Devin/Dellamorte seal of approval?

ETA: By the way, the thesis on Citizen Kane comment was a hyperbole. I presume you know what hyperbole is, even if you didn't recognise my attempt at being light-hearted in exaggerating what you expect of the threads here, seeing as you seem enjoy exaggerating.

It's almost as good as the idea that posting in these threads is the very reason why we aren't posting in the Lust Caution thread. Are there really that many people not posting about films that they've seen because they'd rather talk about McDonalds, or are you hyperbolizing to prove your point? I've only been on the boards for three years, but it seems to me that the movie discussion hasn't diminished, it's just that other threads have grown in number. So instead of 20 movie threads and 5 bs threads, we have 40 movie threads and 60 bs threads. Still the best place on the internet to discuss movies last time I checked. The IMDB boards only talk about movies, and we've all seen how stellar they are. Also, I think it helps to point out that this thread was started by a filmmaker, who happens to post in plenty of movie threads. This thread also contains people referring to relevant movies as they relay their stories.

And yes, I know I said I was done talking about this before. I lied, because I'm an asshole.

You certainly have plenty of time to post nonsense here. And I don't understand what CHUD board you're reading, because this isn't the one with the in-depth discussion of cinematographers' techniques. I wouldn't complain if it was, but that's not what this board is or ever has been, so why do you keep on making it sound like I'm coming from a high horse of academia and trying to make the plebes feel bad about themselves? I LITERALLY DO NOT CARE WHAT ASPECT OF MOVIES PEOPLE TALK ABOUT. I'm not sitting here complaining that the level of movie discourse isn't smart enough, I'm complaining that it is disappearing in general on this board.

We've tried to make it easier for people to talk movies. We have multiple movie boards. We started the pre and post release threads so that people who see movies later would still have a place to talk about them without being spoiled. We don't have crazy rules about multiple threads - I am sure some movies have a dozen threads about them in the history of this board. We don't place post limits on people's ability to make comments on certain things or on starting new threads.

Obviously this board has changed a lot over the years. I was always against the expanding of the forums, but that's ancient history now. Maybe I'm just a dinosaur who is nostalgic for the way this place used to be and that's not the way this place is anymore. I don't know. And I don't know why I give so much of a shit, since the boards account for a small part of the traffic this site gets. I guess I still feel like this should be the best board on the web to talk about MOVIES.

Is there a better one?

Maybe it's just me, but I don't come to the CHUD boards to participate in film discussion. I watched Black Book today. I thought it was pretty damn good. I didn't really feel a need to share that news with anyone. That doesn't mean I won't wander into the Black Book thread and see if other Chewers enjoyed the film as much as I did, but I don't feel an overwhelming need to post about it.

I come to these boards to read the news articles, comment on them, and read much of the wacky hilarity that takes place in various threads. I agree with everyone else who says that if you want this place to stick strictly to film discussion, then remove the dozen or more non-film related topics from the boards. And if you're not going to do that, shut the fuck up and let people post where they want.

Isn't it still the best board to talk about movies? I haven't found a better one, and trust me, when you and Andre start shit like this, I look for them. I come back, because better boards aren't out there.

And honestly, why do you give a shit? Not to sound like a stalker, but I'll go back through your list of posts sometimes to see if you have more insight into a lot of the movies you write about, and see if you discuss the movies with other board members. On the rare occasion you do, it's one or two short lines, usually a brief explanation of something you wrote, or a correction. Occasionally there is a good nugget of discussion you'll decide to participate in, and it's fantastic.

The bulk of the other non-article linking posts you make are bait threads, or posts where you get pissed about threads. So I really don't understand why other threads on this message board bug you so much.

It's kind of sad, the first thread I read today almost made me cry. It was the thread Nick started about his dad. The most recent activity in it was an enormously touching post by Jonathan Banks is My Hero. I thought to myself, "man, these boards are great". Then I see this derail, and how much the editors of the website think their message boards blow.

Going around and telling people what they should and should not be doing with their free time sis a weird way for you to make apparent your assumption that everyone on the boards is an intelligent adult. It seems that you've picked out the role of teacher for yourself in that regard. (Or you just have a masterfully developed sense of irony.)

Also, I come here to read reviews about movies and have intelligent discussions with other film lover and the "intelligent dsicussion" bit is the reason I've frequented CHUD over the last few years rather than AICN. You're one of the few people in the community who seems to have the zeal for hurling insults/namecalling/bullying that thrives among the talkbackers. That's a real drag for met, I don't know about others.

In all fairness you were right that most people don't get torn up in the movie threads. But when they are, you're usually the person who is doing the tearing.

You might not be, but Dellamorte and others are complaining about the "quality" of what is posted.

And do you really think that people who post in the random food, bodily function/sex, and other lifestyle threads are really thinking "hmmm, I could post about movies or shit, but only one or the other. I guess today it's shit!"

Of course not. People aren't talking about movies because they don't have something to say, or they fear reprisals. Yeah, movie geeks having social anxiety, that's a shocker.

Why do you think it isn't? It is the best place to talk about movies.

It's also apparently the best place to talk about the variety of things that happen in restrooms (and I'm not talking about you, Devin, I'm talking about the shit threads).

You post things about your lifestyle, too.

I wouldn't check these boards as often if there wasn't so much funny stuff in the non-movie threads. And then I'd miss out on the movie threads. I wouldn't have checked out things like Creature Corner, Rated Aargh!, etc. if it wasn't for references on the boards. I'd just check the main page every week or so, and maybe look up a movie thread if I was really excited about a film. So maybe 4 times a year? Then where would the discussion be?

Maybe they'd all come and talk about film even if they didn't share their loves, losses, crazy ex-lover, crazy co-worker, crazy shit stories. But then again, maybe not.

I think having a vibrant community is part of what keeps people here, talking about everyting including film; I don't think that the variety makes people talk about everything except film.

I don't have time, but I'd love to see what threads have how much traffic (views), vs. posts, and over time.

Maybe the fact that there are 20 threads for every movie means each thread is shorter, and thus it seems like fewer people are posting, even when the total number of posts about each film is more. I don't know.

Oh, and if the revamp gets us a search engine that actually helps people find old threads? That would help. I hate not being able to find and to revive an old thread when I think of something to contribute.

[edited for typos] ETA: Oh, and yes, I do have time to come on the boards. Note that I can come here, post this, while say, folding my laundry for 15 or 20 minutes, and while listening to a rugby match. By contrast, I don't have 5 hours to go see Lars and the Real Girl or even 2 hours at the right time for We Own The Night or something. Plus, you're the one who thinks people who have pagers shouldn't go to films. By your rules I'd never set foot in a theatre (despite the fact that being on call 24/7 has made me leave the theatre all of 4 times in the last 3 years).

I post much less on these boards than I used to because:

- If I have something to say I say it on the main site, where thousands upon thousands more people will read it

and

- I am aware of the weird weight my posts carry and that a single comment from me can fuck up a thread in a big way.

Are there better movie boards? I don't know, but there are ones where people talk more about movies. As for your moment with that thread: great, I am glad you found a sense of community. Am I such a dick for wanting that community to be based on an actual love for and discussion of movies as opposed to a vague interest in them? You guys all fucking freak out when something like this comes up, and go on about how much I hate the boards or whatever, but I feel like when you freak out you're kind of admitting I'm right and that this board has drifted from film discussion. All I want to do is remind everybody what the C in CHUD stands for.

Cannibalistic, we know.

It's not wrong to want a community focused on movies. It's weird to hate when they focus on more than that. I don't think you're right, I don't think discussion has drifted away from movies, I think other discussions have been added. I also think people have the capacity to discuss multiple things.

I couldn't make it through all the movie discussion on a movie site posts, but seriously, there are many forum divisions here for many discussions. Many of the divisions are not movie related, and those discussions are kept there. As someone else said the culture lately seems to discourage any movie discussion since opinions will likely get ripped. I would love to run out and see every movie that is in limited release here, or even wide release, but time isn't just always available to catch a theatrical run. And if we go and say "Man I would LOVE to see Into The Wild because the CHUD crew has done a great fucking job in promoting it ,but I haven't had a chance yet" we get a thread complaining that we are offering our appreciation for CHUD's work, and how much we can't wait to see the movie. So really, like I saw up top somewhere, we won't win. And besides, is it such an issue with Nick posts his non-movie projects on the main site of forums? Not at all.

We came here for the movies, we stick around for the community, which has to be harder and harder with constant bait threads and nit picking by the CHUD staff. If you want to see more movie discussion make a separate post and open a discussion about HOW to promote more film discussion, not just bitch that it isn't happening and derail a thread.

Jesus I just fell for a bait post.

Back on topic.

Amanda Jordan, 2000. We dated about 9 month, and I found out from my buddy David that she had fucked my (former) best friend since 5th grade about a month before we broke up. I just found this out last week. And tonight she randomly messaged me on Myspace. Yay.

I don't think we're freaking out or feeling guilty. I think that when we have a sense of community, and connection - be it through the wonderful sense of support that those of use who've lost a parent have in Nick's thread, or through the great laughs of some of the amazingly trivial and bizarre threads - and you want to shit on it, it's annoying. It's like you come crashing in the middle of a successful, fun dinner party, when we're all having a good time, and rain on our sometimes silly and sometimes emotionally valuable parades. Wow, what a shocker that it's not a welcome interruption.

Yes, this is a site about movies. But hey, look, we're in the Chewer's Catch-All, engaging in its intended purpose.

And now, to cheer myself up, I'm off to watch New Zealand losing their quarter-final to France while doing the dishes. Yippee.

Cannibalistic? Edit: fuck!

I'm kidding! You are, of course, right. And as others have said, this is the best movie board I've seen (take one look at the IMDb boards and weep for humanity). It is good that you clarify that any discussion of movies at all is good as long as it's on topic, whereas some others in this thread are on a high horse about the quality standards said discussion must meet. Which is bullshit.

Also, kudos for acknowledging the weight of your posts. Because of who you are on the site, one snarky comment can derail a thread, because a lot of posters (and I'm certainly guilty of this myself) are put on the defensive, seeing it as some attack from on high, rather than just one guy stating his opinion.

There are people who come here to talk about everything but movies, or talk about movies once in a blue moon. I don't get this. In whatever way (though this will probably read in a "how can you say that" tone, though it isn't meant to be like that) I don't think people like that should be encouraged to participate. Again, I go back to the straight guy at a gay bar. I don't understand why someone would want to be in that position.

People love to talk about themselves. I am no different. But I think there comes a point where it feels like people would rather talk about themselves than, you know, movies. Which is theoretically what got people here in the first place. But talking about yourself in this sort of way is not really a discussion. In a way threads like this are like list threads. I guess I understand that about 99% of the people here feel they can participate in this in a way that maybe only 2% can talk about Into the Wild, and maybe people feel good about adding something rather than not. But again, it's all pretty empty.

There is this ad hominum leap from suggesting that if you have nothing to add to a conversation that maybe you shouldn't add anything to a conversation, to suggesting people have to be geniuses to post. If people find other posters intimidating, or for that matter me intimidating I'm sorry. I'm a Panda bear, all things. But even if so, you tend to run faster when the person running next you is faster than you. And such leads to good things, ususally.

I'm gonna have to go back to stating that there is still a Movies Forum, and this is the Chewers Forum. Or to continue your analogy, you're a straight guy at a gay-themed night at a gay-friendly bar, wondering what's with all the fags everywhere.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to get to work, log on, and post on these boards the same way I have since 2004. All the shouting and derailing in the world isn't going to change the way I post here. It's hard to imagine it will change the way many other people post, either.

This is the best board to talk about movies....And part of what makes it so great is that we talk about other things.

Go to a football board and talk something other than football and you get buried....Go to the official Xbox board and talk something other than Xbox....You get banned.

But here....I can talk to people about say the new Star Trek movie....But then a hour later I can talk to these same people about Music....Or how much the new Captain America costume sucks ass.

It's because we talk about things other than movies that I've added over a dozen new people to my 360 friends list....And have earned a massive beatdown from B_metal the second he gets his 360 back from repairs(that is unless this one blows up on him)

This is basically the ONLY message board I go to....Why.....Because it's got every base covered(and what few others I go to I rarely post)....and because of that it has led to what I feel is the BEST internet message board community that i've ever been apart of.

Sorry for rambling like that....Had a bad day at work and feel horrible.

You're missing the point. This is a website about movies. The expectation is that is why you're here. But there are people who post on this board A LOT who I never ever see posting about movies. Like ever.

The Chewers forum exists as a secondary forum to the main movie discussions. The idea was that we come here to talk about movies, and we get to know each other through movie talk and we come together through our shared love of movies. And the community that we build from loving and talking about movies makes us friends. And when we have become friends based on our love of movies and the discussions we have about them, we also want to talk about more personal things. Thus this forum.

The way it seems now is that people come here for Misc Culture and Chewers Catch All and maybe pop into the movie forums on occasion. Perhaps I'm wrong with that, but I will tell you that the names I see posting in these forums are not the people I see posting in movie threads. Now to be fair I see people who post about movies - Phil, BobClark, Moltisanti - also posting here. But i couldn't tell you if MissZooey has ever SEEN a movie in her life.

This is all so frustrating to me because my posts don't get read, they get reacted to, and so the very simple opinions I am trying to share here get taken as attacks. My opinion that you should talk more about movies than you talk about your job doesn't mean I think you're a bad person. It means I think these boards need a little correcting and that we should be talking about movies, first and foremost.

Agree to disagree?

Honestly Devin, it's because while your reputation on the main page is that of a great writer, your reputation on the message boards is resident cranky asshole. Being the voice of reason probably won't work. Want to put my theory to the test? If Nick made the EXACT same posts you did, people would probably agree with him rather than react to him. Why? He doesn't insult people on the boards. Probably because those people pay a lot of bills through their readership.

But, there is a choice to be made: You can have the community that you want or the community that the users dictate. It's pretty clear that you stand on a different side of line from many of us here.

What I think we could all agree on is that if you're correct about the original idea for these boards (and I have no reason to doubt that you are), it has shifted away from that idea in a dramatic sense.

If you think that the boards need correcting, I can't blame you. You came to this site at a different time and from a different perspective. But, I don't think it's a legitimate means of discussion to come into a thread and attempt to derail it into the debate you want. It's natural for people to react to that as an attack.

As a genuine question: How do you propose to get people to focus more on movie discussion? The unrestricted discussion on these boards has clearly moved away from movies towards more general subject matter. I do believe that it's the best message board on the net, and I wouldn't ask to change it. But, if you do want it to happen, I'm interested. Particularly because, even the best message board on the net can be improved by more serious discussion of a worthwhile topic.

I know I'm not the first one to bring up such a simple point, but really... aren't these different sections here for a reason?

Shit, with all of the fucking ads on this site you should be goddamn thrilled that people are using ALL sections of the message board. Remove all of the sections that are not movie-related and you get less hits, hence less money. Simple, really.

I quit. I'm grateful that you guys have chosen this as your board to hang out, but my time as an active member probably passed a couple of years ago and I didn't notice it. I was a poster on this board before I started writing for the site, and that's how I've always identified myself, but times change and so do communities.

See you guys on the main page.

From Keeping the Faith:
- It's not your ideas. Your ideas are very good. But sometimes you're a little aggressive in the execution.

- Yeah, but, Ben, come on! I mean, I mean, it was working!

- I know, I know, I know, I know. You like to shake things up, and that's good.

- When it works, yeah.

- But you have to appreciate the fact that a lot of people come here for a sense of continuity. It's not just the board. I-It's your congregation, Jake. Mrs-- Mrs Katz likes to sing the "Ein Keloheinu" the way she knows it. Tradition is not old habit. It's comforting to people.

- Okay, but I'm not interested in baby-sitting Mrs Katz. I wanna push people to grow and expand. Otherwise, what are we doing?

- I know, I know, I know. But you have to be patient with them. I think you'll get a-- you'll find that people will go a lot farther... if you-- if they feel they're being led and not pushed.

You can't go, all the plants are gonna die!

Maybe that because youre the kind of user who, say, asks other users to post personal details about themselves to make them better targets for you when you get into diagreements and then blow up when they fail to do it (and then proceeds to call that user a pussy in multile posts). Or, on the other,it's becuase you're the kind of user who drops into a discussion out of nowhere to call complete strangers stupid cocksuckers. Or, to take a differnet approach, it's because you're the kind of user whose reputation for viciousness and general lack of civility and class so precedes him that other users refer to rude users as "Devin-lite."

Point taken. I was kinda making a joke at Andre, but yeah I definitely see what you mean here. I'd like to think I contribute in my own small way to movie discussion, and I'm sure there are posters who never do.

And at the risk of sounding like a pussy here, I really admire the way you're handling yourself in this thread. I don't mind being told I'm wrong if it's done intelligently enough to learn from it.

Christ, now I feel bad.

Why? That ain't gonna last. They ALL come back...

It's true.

There's a main page?

What a stunning indictment of the boards as currently constituted (and I'm sure you weren't even intending to do this) -- people don't read through a post/argument/discussion, they merely look to see who's posting what and agree with their favorites.

That's what I find funny about the people lumping Dev and Dre together (and in the past lumping myself, Kirby, Laugharn, etc. etc. along with them) when they talk about "negative nancies" -- they assume this is some sort of double team, when it's really just posters who agree with each other on some sort of level, whether it be critically or aesthetically.

Well, that was a derailment of epic proportions. That was a David Lean scale derailment. See? Movie reference.

Yeah, except they say that T.E. Lawrence was gay...so he hangs out at bars that I go to...to meet women...and then they all yell at me for not talking about...movies? Is that the thing we're arguing about now? What happened? I miss the vague implications that I was sexist. Those were simpler times, all those hours ago.