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If it was you, how would you have handled it?

post #1 of 88
10/16/07 at 2:33pm
Thread Starter 
I figured that I would start a thread for people to drop in and give their ideas on how would chewers handle a situation in movie if they were in a particular position? It can be any kind of movie and scene (porn excluded), just give both and how you would have dealt with the situation. I'll leave it up to you to decide if you would already know how things are going to go down or not. I'll start:

Movie - House on Haunted Hill (1999)
Scene - All the major characters are standing in the lobby of the haunted house and being offered $1 million to spend the night in the spot.
Knowing how it all turns out - "Yeah. Uh, you can keep your money, I've got to go."
Not knowing how it all turns out - "Oh, a night in a haunted house you say? I've got to go. There's a Giants game on in a little while and they're on a roll. Good luck."
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post #2 of 88
10/16/07 at 2:49pm
I don't think I would have jabbed a huge iron rod into Voorhees' corpse on a stormy night. Maybe pissed on him a little, but definitely no iron rod-ering.
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post #3 of 88
10/16/07 at 3:35pm
I would have taken the blue pill in the Matrix. I'm no one's savior and let me eat steak instead of waking up with tubes in my newly created orifices. Also, a handful of (beautiful, sweaty and horny) people against a billion machines? No.
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post #4 of 88
10/16/07 at 3:45pm
I would have almost certainly punched the hell out of (or, at the very least attempted to) Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. Great scene? Do I even need to answer that? Would I put up with that in a similar situation? Hell to the no.
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post #5 of 88
10/16/07 at 3:51pm
Movie - Pulp Fiction
Scene - Marsallus Wallace is speaking to Butch about throwing his upcoming fight.
Knowing how it all turns out - My ass would be hitting the canvas EXACTLY as instructed.
Not knowing how it all turns out - Fucking pride, per Mr. Wallace's instructions. You don't argue with Ving Rhames, no sir.
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post #6 of 88
10/16/07 at 3:58pm
Why do they all go into the basement/attic/dark room? I would never, ever go in the basement/attic/dark room. Oh, and as soon as I find my friend's tongue in a little flannel bag, I'm calling a forest ranger and getting the hell out of there.
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post #7 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:03pm
To continue MissZooey's theme, if I'm ever at the point where I've shot the killer/slasher/monster that's been terrorizing my family and friends, I'm going to make goddam sure he/she/it is fucking dead before I limp away in assumed victory.

I mean, stabbing, head-stomping, rock-smasing, fully unloading my clip, showing it a picture of Ann Coulter, whatever it takes, to Make. Sure. It's. Dead.
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post #8 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
Movie - Pulp Fiction
Scene - Marsallus Wallace is speaking to Butch about throwing his upcoming fight.
Knowing how it all turns out - My ass would be hitting the canvas EXACTLY as instructed.
Wait, even knowing that everything would work out - you'd make a ton of money, win the fight, get a free gay-cop-pornshow, and get off scot-free (and a nifty chopper) you'd still throw the fight?
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post #9 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:05pm
To take what MissZooey posted a step further, why the hell would anyone wnat to work as a counselor for a camp as notorious as Crystal Lake? Especially if they never catch the killer?

I'd rather spend another lousy summer working at Great Adventure, thanks. Lot of weird stuff there, yes, but you knew you were going home in one piece.
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post #10 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer
I mean, stabbing, head-stomping, rock-smasing, fully unloading my clip, showing it a picture of Ann Coulter, whatever it takes, to Make. Sure. It's. Dead.
Hey now, that's just uncalled for killer/slasher/monster brutality.
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post #11 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:08pm
Running Scared
The Entire Movie
I would have just blown my cover. Getting the gun back isn't really necessary, or worth everything he goes through if he's a cop. That always bothered me.
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post #12 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
To take what MissZooey posted a step further, why the hell would anyone wnat to work as a counselor for a camp as notorious as Crystal Lake? Especially if they never catch the killer?
Forgive this, as it isn't film related, but I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer (made it partway through the 3rd season. I've seen a lot of it before and know how it ends, but I've also forgotten a lot. So hush.) and I'd really like to know how they're able to continue finding teachers for that high school. Can you imagine what those job interviews are like? So, yeah, I wouldn't be the school nurse at Sunnydale High.
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post #13 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
I'd rather spend another lousy summer working at Great Adventure, thanks. Lot of weird stuff there, yes, but you knew you were going home in one piece.
And at the worst, maybe smelling like shit.
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post #14 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Why do they all go into the basement/attic/dark room?
Actually, in Night of The Living Dead, they should have all just locked themselves into the basement. Cooper was right, man. Cooper was right.
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post #15 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:13pm
Point taken. But if anyone's standing in the corner with his face to the wall, you've made a huge mistake.
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post #16 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:17pm
They would definitely have to deal with Cooper's infected daughter. When she gets up all zombified and Ben has to shoot her, well, after that things could be... awkward for the next few hours.
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post #17 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by pagoda
Running Scared
The Entire Movie
I would have just blown my cover. Getting the gun back isn't really necessary, or worth everything he goes through if he's a cop. That always bothered me.
Personally I would have just bought the bar and kept my ass in Key West. So what if Julio Gonzalez becomes the underworld king of Chicago? No skin off my teeth.
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post #18 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:20pm
Terminator: (assuming the Michael Biehn role)

Not knowing the outcome - I would have just let Sarah take her uzi clip to the chest, knowing I'd have a few good years of the sweet life in the past before everything went to shit, and y'know.. get wasted all the time, pick up a few chicks, check out everything that didn't survive the bombs.. live life to the fullest, y'know?

Unless like, letting her die somehow erases his existance in the future.. and he starts to disappear ala Marty in Back to the Future. If that was the case.. well.. shit.
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post #19 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by pagoda
Wait, even knowing that everything would work out - you'd make a ton of money, win the fight, get a free gay-cop-pornshow, and get off scot-free (and a nifty chopper) you'd still throw the fight?
Yeah. I'd still get a nice chunk of change from Marsellus, I can live without the gay-cop-pornshow, I'd avoid the car crash and wrecking my pretty face, wouldn't have a dead John Travolta in my crib while I'm waiting for my Pop Tart, wouldn't have to lose my LA privleges, and I don't know how to ride a motorcycle so Zed's hog would be useless to me.

Too much aggrivation, sorry.
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post #20 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer
To continue MissZooey's theme, if I'm ever at the point where I've shot the killer/slasher/monster that's been terrorizing my family and friends, I'm going to make goddam sure he/she/it is fucking dead before I limp away in assumed victory.

I mean, stabbing, head-stomping, rock-smasing, fully unloading my clip, showing it a picture of Ann Coulter, whatever it takes, to Make. Sure. It's. Dead.

Cue end credits for Behind the Mask.
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post #21 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Point taken. But if anyone's standing in the corner with his face to the wall, you've made a huge mistake.
Speaking of Blair Witch, even though I'd probably be the one in the corner at the end, I'd immediately turn around and profusely thank the Blair Witch for shutting Heather up at long last. I'd also have greased that one yahoo after he lost our map (these dolts couldn't get copies of the map made for each of them in case they get seperated? Didn't they have a Kinko's or something back then?).

EDITTED TO ADD: To run with what Jacob's saying, once the monster's down, cut off it's fucking head. I was yelling this over and over again at Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween H20. Fortunately, she heard me.
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post #22 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:29pm
Remember, Timothy, these are the same people who thought it would be good fun to go into the woods to stalk an unchecked supernatural power that was allegedly responsible for the gristly murders of dozens of people. I think operating a photocopier was probably a hair too complex for them.
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post #23 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:33pm
I'd much rather rule the galaxy with my dad than throw myself off a thousand foot ledge.
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post #24 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225

EDITTED TO ADD: To run with what Jacob's saying, once the monster's down, cut off it's fucking head. I was yelling this over and over again at Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween H20. Fortunately, she heard me.
The Headless Horseman can still attack sans cranium. Be sure to remove head, hands, arms, legs, and feet. Bury each 10 feet deep, covered in a layer of salt, in locations no closer than 50 miles apart so that they cannot self heal and allow the psycho/killer/monster/demon/warlock to come back to life wondering why he only got one hand back.
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post #25 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Remember, Timothy, these are the same people who thought it would be good fun to go into the woods to stalk an unchecked supernatural power that was allegedly responsible for the gristly murders of dozens of people. I think operating a photocopier was probably a hair too complex for them.
They can run a video camera, they can drive a car, they can pitch a tent, but they can't drop a couple of dimes in a copy machine? Y'know what, fuck 'em. They deserve to be whacked by the Blair Witch.
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post #26 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG
The Headless Horseman can still attack sans cranium. Be sure to remove head, hands, arms, legs, and feet. Bury each 10 feet deep, covered in a layer of salt, in locations no closer than 50 miles apart so that they cannot self heal and allow the psycho/killer/monster/demon/warlock to come back to life wondering why he only got one hand back.
Your still screwed in both The Blob and The Thing
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post #27 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord
I'd much rather rule the galaxy with my dad than throw myself off a thousand foot ledge.
That's why you've got that avatar.

In all those scenarios where a supporting character is captured by the bad guys and tortured/interrogated into giving up the good guys' identities/locations/plans/information, they've always made a huge mistake. Never. Get. Taken. Alive. I am a definite believer in Tojo's military strategy in that sense.
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post #28 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG
The Headless Horseman can still attack sans cranium. Be sure to remove head, hands, arms, legs, and feet. Bury each 10 feet deep, covered in a layer of salt, in locations no closer than 50 miles apart so that they cannot self heal and allow the psycho/killer/monster/demon/warlock to come back to life wondering why he only got one hand back.
Now this guy knows what he's talkin' about.
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post #29 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG
The Headless Horseman can still attack sans cranium. Be sure to remove head, hands, arms, legs, and feet. Bury each 10 feet deep, covered in a layer of salt, in locations no closer than 50 miles apart so that they cannot self heal and allow the psycho/killer/monster/demon/warlock to come back to life wondering why he only got one hand back.
I'm writing this down, just in case, but there's an even easier solution - stay the hell out of Sleepy Hollow.

As for monsters, I live in Jersey Devil country (he says "hello" by the way), so we're used to these shenanigans these critters pull. We also know how to put these persnickity critters down, for we have no fear and we taste terrible (must be the radon and carcinogens we grew up with).

Back on thread: blind or no, I would definitely yield immediately to Zatoichi in any of his films.
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post #30 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:54pm
I would not have let that German sonofabitch go, not when we're in the middle of a war and especially not in the manner in which they did. Stupid Tom Hanks, bet you're really regretting that one.
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post #31 of 88
10/16/07 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin
That's why you've got that avatar.

In all those scenarios where a supporting character is captured by the bad guys and tortured/interrogated into giving up the good guys' identities/locations/plans/information, they've always made a huge mistake. Never. Get. Taken. Alive. I am a definite believer in Tojo's military strategy in that sense.
Sort of related, but if I were Auric Goldfinger, I'd have let the laser do it's work on 007. He knew about Operation: Grand Slam and he wasn't supposed to? Fuck him. Then it'd be me and Pussy Galore and a shitload of gold and Oddjob and a mint julep and...
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post #32 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:00pm
I would have blown the fuck out of the escape pod. No escape pod, no dead Palpatine.
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post #33 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
Your still screwed in both The Blob and The Thing
Pour a tablespoon of sugar on The Blob. I'll think on Thing.

EDIT: Timothy225 - The solution isn't really pointed towards Sleepy Hollow, just that those that wish to destroy us have the ability to continue on their destined path of blood and guts without a head. Or even a head with a pipe through it. And if I was in Sleepy Hollow I would be more worried about the frogs croaking my name.
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post #34 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:19pm
Interview with the Vampire: If I'm Christian Slater, I listen to about ten minutes of this whiny bullshit, open a window and be done with it.
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post #35 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:20pm
That makes me think of The Thing more and, really, there's not a whole lot you can do, short of killing every other living thing in sight. The terror of that film works because you're stuck in the Antarctic with no way out. Damn, gonna have to think long on this one...
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post #36 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:29pm
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Richard Dickson again."
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post #37 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Remember, Timothy, these are the same people who thought it would be good fun to go into the woods to stalk an unchecked supernatural power that was allegedly responsible for the gristly murders of dozens of people. I think operating a photocopier was probably a hair too complex for them.
And who continued filming no matter what horrible thing happened to them. At what point do you think to yourself, "Yeah, okay, evil entity out in the woods is after me. I can run faster if I drop the fucking camera, the footage isn't worth it."
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post #38 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork
And who continued filming no matter what horrible thing happened to them. At what point do you think to yourself, "Yeah, okay, evil entity out in the woods is after me. I can run faster if I drop the fucking camera, the footage isn't worth it."
But what if they were going to submit the footage to "America's Funniest Home Videos"? A wad of cash and a chance to meet Bob Saget (and if I have the time period right, Tawny Kitaen)? Shit, I'd clutch that footage like a football, and ditch the other two. Blair Witch would be so busy with them, I'd make a clean getaway.

Then I'd use the money to kick start my plans to RULE the WORLD. But, alas, you know too much... Oddjob! The Laser!
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post #39 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:44pm
Jurassic Park: "Mr. Hammond, this is Doctor Malcolm. Yeah, I've read enough science fiction to know that I don't need to travel all the way to some tropical island to tell you that cloning dinosaurs is a terrible idea."
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post #40 of 88
10/16/07 at 5:49pm
"You're a dude? I'm out!"
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post #41 of 88
10/16/07 at 6:13pm
I would get a bigger boat.
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post #42 of 88
10/16/07 at 7:15pm
Movie: The Deadly Spawn
Scene: Two campers in a tent. They converse:
"What was that noise outside?"
"Let's go check"
Knowing how it all turns out: Hiding in the tent instead would probably have been no help whatsoever, so I'd run for the hills instead of stopping to look around
Not knowing: Hide in the tent?
Certainly not doing what they did and going outside for a nice long look around.
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post #43 of 88
10/16/07 at 7:33pm
Easy Rider- Hunt down the rednecks who killed Jack Nicholson.
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post #44 of 88
10/16/07 at 7:40pm
The Fly: Make sure those telepods have proper seals and to gave one last look around to make sure nothing is in the freakin chamber before turning the switch.

Scarface: Check the tats on Montana and his friend's hands to see if they've got any association with the criminal underworld. If so, alert the feds.

Silence of the Lambs: Put way more fuckin secuity than just two cops watching Hannibal Lecter.
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post #45 of 88
10/16/07 at 8:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Remember, Timothy, these are the same people who thought it would be good fun to go into the woods to stalk an unchecked supernatural power that was allegedly responsible for the gristly murders of dozens of people. I think operating a photocopier was probably a hair too complex for them.
For some reason I've always thought that word was spelled "grisly," throwing in the extra t just makes it AWESOME. A "gristly" horror movie sounds so much more intense than a simple "grisly" one.

Oh, and so as not to derail - off the top of my head, I obviously don't hijack Keitel and his family in their RV and drive them and my brother to the Titty Twister. That was a colossal fuckup on Mr. Seth Gecko's part.
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post #46 of 88
10/16/07 at 8:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
Hey now, that's just uncalled for killer/slasher/monster brutality.
Hey, it's not like he said they were nude pictures, now.
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post #47 of 88
10/16/07 at 8:39pm
Knowing what I now know, I'd have spared myself the money I spent watching the Prequel Trilogy.

I also never would have sent Luca Brazzi out to talk to Sollozzo. I also would've given Johnny Fontane the part - the audience he'd bring in with his Guinea charm... Best Picture Oscar and more horses.

I'd have asked Bruce Lee to check himself into a hospital and get a complete physical before shooting his last movie.
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post #48 of 88
10/16/07 at 9:17pm
I've never understood (and this goes for real life too) why anyone would ever work in the mob. Yeah, the money's good, but the worst thing that can ever happen in any other job is your boss will fire you; you screw up in the mob, and they FUCKING KILL YOU. And for little things! Tell a fat joke about the boss's wife? Kill a horse? Gay? Dead.

Yeah, I've got Sopranos on the brain lately.
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post #49 of 88
10/16/07 at 9:27pm
If I was Ned Beatty, I would have squealled harder.
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post #50 of 88
10/16/07 at 9:44pm
Thread Starter 
Godfather - If I was Michael I would have stopped having kids after the first one. Would have cut out the worst parts of Part 3.
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