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If it was you, how would you have handled it? - Page 2

post #51 of 88
10/16/07 at 9:55pm
Army of Darkness - If I was dating Bridget Fonda, I'd take her to a nice hotel room and make sweet, sweet love to her, instead of taking her to that cabin in the woods with that pesky 'ol Necronomicon.
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post #52 of 88
10/16/07 at 10:12pm
I would have told Tom Hanks not have all that gay sex in Philadelphia. It would be a less funny movie without the AIDS though.
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post #53 of 88
10/16/07 at 11:50pm
The Movie: The Natural

Scene: Memo Paris (Kim Basinger) implores Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford) to take the money offered and leave with her...forcing Hobbs to choose between Kim Basinger and a bunch of guys that have as many sags in their jowls as they do in their baseball uniforms or blowing her off and putting it to the Man(s).

Knowing how it turns out: "Hmmm...if I win the game, next year I can renegotiate my contract and I'll be Flush forever....yeah...that's sounds good."

Not knowing how it turns out: "Hey, Memo....you notice how all the chicks here are pregnant or new mommas? hehehehehehehehehehehhe....wanna play doctor?"
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post #54 of 88
10/17/07 at 12:22am
There is a pretty good chance I would have folded and told Mom that the babysitter was dead.
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post #55 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raspberry Leper
There is a pretty good chance I would have folded and told Mom that the babysitter was dead.
Before or after you did "stuff" to the body?
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post #56 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:35am
Movie - Aliens
Scene - Deciding whether to join the mission and go to the planet to check on the colony
Knowing how it all turns out - "Nuke the fucking planet. There's plenty more."
Not knowing how it all turns out - Do my job and go in. This is all assuming I'm one of the marines.
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post #57 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:40am
Would you ensure that there was someone, anyone, anyone at all up in the spaceship so that they could come down and get you should your only mode of transportation is destroyed?
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post #58 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:54am
"Samurai Mike, will you take the Ring to Mordor?"

"Nah, fuck that for a lark. I'm getting on the piss."
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post #59 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:15am
I probably wouldn't choose to drive to a hotel that has police surveillance, shoot Waingro in the cranium, dump my girl and get shot. But that's just me.
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post #60 of 88
10/17/07 at 11:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Forgive this, as it isn't film related, but I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer (made it partway through the 3rd season. I've seen a lot of it before and know how it ends, but I've also forgotten a lot. So hush.) and I'd really like to know how they're able to continue finding teachers for that high school. Can you imagine what those job interviews are like? So, yeah, I wouldn't be the school nurse at Sunnydale High.
Teacher's Union negotiated an extra 8 minutes on the prep period for each day. Plus, after 90 days you're vested fully in the life insurance program.
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post #61 of 88
10/17/07 at 12:40pm
I would have gotten those damn eagles to fly me to the volcano. Would've saved me three movies (not that I am not appreciative of said movies).
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post #62 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Syd
Would you ensure that there was someone, anyone, anyone at all up in the spaceship so that they could come down and get you should your only mode of transportation is destroyed?
Well... that would be a good call and you'd think they would have done something like that. But if those other two pilots didn't open the back door to their ship the problem could have been averted. If I were the pilot I'd be scared shitless that something was in fact out and really... should they not have heard the team communications? That seems to make sense that they could have tapped into that and heard them all getting slaughtered.

But they were all a bunch of hot shots, know it alls. And none of them seemed to believe the "alien story" Ripley told them.
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post #63 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:27pm
GoodFellas:
When Paulie tells me not to deal drugs, I don't deal drugs.

Temple of Doom:
"Hey Indy, where lady?"
"Oh, she, um, must have ... fallen out of the car a few blocks back. Got the antidote though."
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post #64 of 88
10/17/07 at 1:55pm
MOVIE: The Departed

Scene: Final showdown between Sullivan and Costigan

Knowing how it's all turns out: I would have given Sullivan a couple of more kicks to the teeth and then taken the stairs.

Not knowing how it all turns out : At least get somebody else there to back me up. I mean you're in an abandoned building in a remote part of Boston, come on!


ETA: Shouldn't this be moved to Movie Miscellany?
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post #65 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:09pm
the 25th Hour:
Took Brian Cox up on his offer.
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post #66 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
The Fly: Make sure those telepods have proper seals and to gave one last look around to make sure nothing is in the freakin chamber before turning the switch.
Or, you know, simply program the computer to abort the sequence if anything else is detected in the pod aside from the main subject.
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post #67 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin
I would have gotten those damn eagles to fly me to the volcano. Would've saved me three movies (not that I am not appreciative of said movies).
Yeah, and you would've gotten your ass handed to you by 10m arrows and 9 screaming Nazguls.

Anywho...

When Gozer asked me if I was a God, I would've said "Yes."
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post #68 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:28pm
One more:

In Dawn of the Dead (2004), I would've suggested that the group take a whole bunch of gas from their gasoline supply and use it to set all the Zombies on fire outside the mall. The mall outside is fire-proof (unless I'm mistaken, mostly internal components are flammable in modern buildings), so those a-holes can burn and bump into each other, setting everyone on fire. Once they've burned, THEN go get Andy and the ammo.

If nothing else it would clear out a whole bunch of asshole zombies.
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post #69 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:41pm
WarGames: I would have just taken my ass whipping from my dad and gone to summer school.
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post #70 of 88
10/17/07 at 2:56pm
Oh, Bruce Willis, why did you have to go upstairs when you heard the noise? You and Olivia Williams don't have a phone extension downstairs to call 911 that there's an intruder in your house? You couldn't have hidden in your basement? Since that's where your home office was located, I assume you had a phone downstairs there too? You would have been safe and un-shot by Donnie Wahlberg.
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post #71 of 88
10/17/07 at 5:11pm
In Kingdom of Heaven...Orlando, you fuck up. Marry Eva Green (she's hot) and lo and behold, you irrevocably alter the course of Christian/Muslim relations for the better for a thousand years. But nooo...stupid son of a bitch.
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post #72 of 88
10/17/07 at 5:26pm
300 - Leonidas, Leonidas, Leonidas. Would it have killed you to give Ephialtes a shot at glory? You could've sent him out ahead of your phalanx, have him charge into the Persians and do his thing. He'd most likely get cut down, but I'm sure he'd take a few Persians with him - just like a real Spartan would. That way, he'd never have betrayed you to Xerxes, you and the Spartans wouldn't have been outflanked, and we'd get some more battle scenes.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith - Anakin, why the FUCK didn't you listen to Mace? You wait in the Chambers, Mace destroys Palpatine, you eventually become a Jedi Master, and get to spend the rest of your life drilling Amidala and playing with your kids on Naboo, teaching them the ways of the Force. Putz.
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post #73 of 88
10/19/07 at 12:12am
I wouldn't have let Marla take both parasites. That's not fair.
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post #74 of 88
10/19/07 at 1:56am
The Passion:

Flay me alive, then crucify me? I think not. Say hello to my little friends ... fire and brimstone!
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post #75 of 88
10/21/07 at 3:32pm
If I had been Ian Malcom, I would have made sure Nick van Owen stayed home.
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post #76 of 88
10/23/07 at 5:09pm
You know what Holly? You're a pretty bad person, so no, I'm not going to the airport and if you just happen to get stuck in a plane circling in the sky because a bunch of ex-army terrorists are mad at the government, then you can go fuck yourself. I'm watching the game.
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post #77 of 88
10/24/07 at 11:26am
If someone asked me if I were a God?

I'd say YES!
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post #78 of 88
10/24/07 at 12:15pm
Personally, I wouldn't have brought a knife to a gunfight.


In the Goofus and Gallant equation on this life lesson... Goofus = Wop.
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post #79 of 88
10/24/07 at 12:20pm
Robocop 2

Scene 1.22+ http://youtube.com/watch?v=1ygMd5Kq_44

The fat guy so close but yet so far, should have stayed down
and crawled his way out.

Love that scene I always feel great relief when Kuzak makes it
out down the drain.
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post #80 of 88
10/24/07 at 12:29pm
How would Patrick Ripoll have dealt with the mixed signals Claudette Colbert sends Clark Gable in It Happened One Night? A little bit of passive-agressive flirting, a lot of obsessing, perhaps a bit of crying (I would try, but no tears would come out, which is a frustrating and stupid feeling), and ultimately, when she ends up with King Wesley, self-loathing.

But that's why I'm no Clark Gable.
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post #81 of 88
10/24/07 at 12:35pm
I woulda killed my brother, not myself, at the finish-line of Consumer Recreation Services' mindf**k.

EDIT: And I wouldn't buy any flora and/or fauna in Chinatown. Seymour Krelborn and Randall Peltzer were schmucks. Scratch that, maybe I would. I'm a schmuck.

EDIT 2: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Patrick Ripoll again.
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post #82 of 88
10/24/07 at 12:37pm
"You're right, Gordon. Greed is good. Fuck Bluestar. If my dad bitches, I'll toss him Daryl Hannah and she can blow him while she redecorates his house. While she's doing that, I'll figure out some way to spend my billion dollars."
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post #83 of 88
10/24/07 at 1:40pm
Thomas Crown Affair remake: when the paint washes off it would be a big fuck you. Then there would have been a note for her at the helicopter landing saying: Come with the painting or you keep the car. All my love, Tommy.

Reservoir Dogs: I don't tell "my friend" I am an undercover cop. Instead I try and talk him down from dying. If not, fuck it.
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post #84 of 88
10/24/07 at 3:15pm
Hmmm, lemme see... I'm a smart, beautiful, talented and successful 57-year-old woman. I have my choice between this gorgeous, kind, sexy as hell, but much younger 39-year-old doctor who loves me, or this fat, obnoxious, 66-year-old slob of a gasbag who treats me like shit, but is more age appropriate. In this case? No, Diane, you don't ditch the younger guy who treats you like gold for the obnoxious fat asshole just because he's closer to your age.
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post #85 of 88
10/24/07 at 3:22pm
If I were Vincent Vega I would have kept my Amsterdam quality heroin in my pants pocket.

Pros-Don't risk becoming a fucking grease spot if the boss finds out his wife almost OD'd on my drugs while I was supposed to be watching her.

Cons-Might not get to hear the joke about the family of tomatoes.
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post #86 of 88
10/24/07 at 3:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Bola
Pros-Don't risk becoming a fucking grease spot if the boss finds out his wife almost OD'd on my drugs while I was supposed to be watching her.

Cons-Might not get to hear the joke about the family of tomatoes.
That's a god damn Sophie's Choice right there.
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post #87 of 88
10/24/07 at 5:39pm
Animal House - Were I Dean Wormer, I'd go ahead and give Delta Tau Chi just ONE MORE CHANCE.
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post #88 of 88
10/24/07 at 10:25pm
Movie - Night of the Living Dead
Scene - Basement vs. Upstairs debate.
Knowing how it all turns out - Lock myself in the basement and put Barbra outside as a distraction / zombie bait. Simply tell Harry Cooper to shut the fuck up and leave me alone lest he suffer a vicious ass-kicking. Actually saying something to let redneck rescuers know that I'm not a zombie. Also, I'd have the Cooper's restrain their daughter, then work it out amongst themselves whether or not to put a bullet in her head.
Not knowing how it all turns out - Lock myself in the basement and relieve stress by punching Barbra out everytime she got annoying.
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