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MSN's 10 All-time Worst Movie Accents

post #1 of 30
11/2/07 at 1:44pm
Thread Starter 
http://movies.msn.com/movies/2007fal...cents?GT1=7701

Seems to hit the mark and miss on every other entry. Winona Rider's Dracula accent critique is spot on: "...she also sounds like a small girl hosting a tea party for her dolls when she affects an upper-crust British dialect."

EDIT: Similar discussions...
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post #2 of 30
11/2/07 at 1:56pm
Dave and I tried to watch Long Day's Journey into Night (1962) the other night.* While this is a minor one, the horrible "Irish" accent that the maid was barely hanging onto drove me nuts. Most high school thespians could cobble together something better than that by watching Lucky Charms commercials and listening to Van Morrison.




*The bits about going to lie down in the spare room and the predictable ebb-and-flow of the familial screaming matches (You're a drunk! You're crazy! You're cheap! You're dying!) got to us. We were laughing much harder than we should have been (i.e. - at all) so, shame on us, we gave up and watched a couple of episodes of Buffy instead.
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post #3 of 30
11/2/07 at 2:17pm
That is mowst good. Mowst good indeed.
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post #4 of 30
11/2/07 at 2:22pm
I'm glad Costner got his own section. I love the guy but...yeah, his accent in13 Days was the first that came to mind when I read this thread heading.
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post #5 of 30
11/2/07 at 2:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Kent
No Halle Berry as Storm? For shame!
The only accent I think she could have been going for was Grace Jones' retarded 12-year-old niece.
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post #6 of 30
11/2/07 at 2:57pm
In Ratatouille, Janeane Garofalo's attempt at a French accent as Colette made me cringe.

And it might be somewhat accurate, but Don Cheadle cockney accent in any Ocean's film is very distracting.
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post #7 of 30
11/2/07 at 3:31pm
This list is invalidated by the Neeson inclusion.

Plus, Jolie's crazy-ass accent was one of the best things in Alexander .
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post #8 of 30
11/2/07 at 3:35pm
Where's Nicholas Cage in CON AIR?
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post #9 of 30
11/2/07 at 3:40pm
There are a couple of obvious omissions like Sean Connery (Pretty much everything where he's not Scottish) and Nicolas Cage (Con Air - as mentioned above, Lord of War). And I actually didn't have a huge problem with Tim Robbins accent in Mystic River (whether that is because Sean Penn's overacting served as a distraction or it actually wasn't that bad remains unclear).
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post #10 of 30
11/2/07 at 4:05pm
I'm so glad Forrest Whitaker in The Crying Game is on there. I absolutely hated his character after a few minutes of his grating accent and character and wanted him to die.

I think Eddie Murphy's Transylvanian (or whatever he was going for) in A Vampire in Brooklyn was an absolute train wreck. I'm not sure that qualifies as a movie, though.
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post #11 of 30
11/2/07 at 6:13pm
I was wondering where Costner's Thirteen Days accent was on the list because if it's was omitted. This entire list would've been rendered null and void.
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post #12 of 30
11/2/07 at 8:23pm
For years, I thought both Forest Whitaker and Penis Van Lesbian were actually British because of these films and accents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stunt poop
I think Eddie Murphy's Transylvanian (or whatever he was going for) in A Vampire in Brooklyn was an absolute train wreck. I'm not sure that qualifies as a movie, though.
Fuck you for making me want to see this.
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post #13 of 30
11/2/07 at 8:45pm
How in the hell was John Malkovich in Rounders left off this list?!

"Pay dat man hees munney."

I love Teddy KGB.
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post #14 of 30
11/3/07 at 1:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul McCartney
Fuck you for making me want to see this.

You think you do, but you don't. Trust me.
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post #15 of 30
11/3/07 at 2:50am
I need to point out that John Lithgow's accent in "Cliffhanger" is so bad it will make you contemplate suicide or go mercifully deaf.
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post #16 of 30
11/3/07 at 3:20am
Okay, Winona... is bad...

But what about Keanu?!
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post #17 of 30
11/3/07 at 3:22am
Sasha Baron Cohen's French accent in Talladega Nights was unbelievably heinous and...well, unbelievable, but I guess that was sorta the point, so NM. (I'd type an example, but the written word cannot do justice to the majesty of it)
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post #18 of 30
11/3/07 at 3:25am
Since we're on the accent tangent, here's one thing I never got: when people are theoretically "speaking" a foreign language but we are "hearing" English for narrative clarity/elimination of subtitles, why do they feel compelled to speak in the accent of the country they are NOT speaking the language of? (Example - in Hunt for Red October, it is EXPLICITLY clear that the fact we are hearing English is a narrative conceit; so why should anyone on the sub be compelled to speak with a faux-Russian accent, except when they are communicating with people who speak English? Inquiring minds want to know)
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post #19 of 30
11/3/07 at 4:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
Since we're on the accent tangent, here's one thing I never got: when people are theoretically "speaking" a foreign language but we are "hearing" English for narrative clarity/elimination of subtitles, why do they feel compelled to speak in the accent of the country they are NOT speaking the language of? (Example - in Hunt for Red October, it is EXPLICITLY clear that the fact we are hearing English is a narrative conceit; so why should anyone on the sub be compelled to speak with a faux-Russian accent, except when they are communicating with people who speak English? Inquiring minds want to know)
Maybe it's one of those Hollywood secrets we aren't meant to know.
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post #20 of 30
11/3/07 at 4:12am
Maybe not among the worst ever, many of which weren't mentioned on this list, but one bad accent that always almost takes me out of what is otherwise a tremendously awesome movie is Tim Roth in Reservoir Dogs.

I too am glad Costner got his own section. JFK was on cable tonight and I had to turn it off. It's obvious his southern accent is bad, but now that I've spent a number of years in the south I can appreciate just how awful it is. Really, the film is littered with bad drawls.
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post #21 of 30
11/3/07 at 9:50am
You must have loved Richard Roxburgh in M:I-2.
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post #22 of 30
11/3/07 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams
Maybe it's one of those Hollywood secrets we aren't meant to know.
Could be; that's a better answer than my conclusion that it's just stupid.
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post #23 of 30
11/3/07 at 1:48pm
I think they pile on Costner a little too harshly. He wasn't bad in JFK and A Perfect World, though I can't argue with Robin Hood and 13 Days.

I absolutely hated DiCaprio's accent in Blood Diamond, though I heard it was technically spot on. All of those "huhs" inserted after every sentence made me want to kill things.
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post #24 of 30
11/3/07 at 2:09pm
She wossunt ekseklie gegging feur it!
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post #25 of 30
11/5/07 at 4:35pm

I am the Duke of Ted!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7
Okay, Winona... is bad...

But what about Keanu?!
Coppola should have just told him to channel Ted "Theodore" Logan.
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post #26 of 30
11/6/07 at 11:28pm
I love Hugh Laurie's description of Dick Van Dyke's accent in Mary Poppins as "tantamount to an act of war."
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post #27 of 30
11/7/07 at 8:39am
Hugh Laurie's one to talk.

As an FYI, that "No wonder that it's Mary that we love..." song is now stuck in my head.
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post #28 of 30
11/7/07 at 9:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ED209
Where's Nicholas Cage in CON AIR?
Hiding behind Colm Meaney's accent in Con Air.
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post #29 of 30
11/7/07 at 7:58pm
Hilary Swank's accent in Black Dahlia made me nauseous.
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post #30 of 30
11/7/07 at 8:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
Since we're on the accent tangent, here's one thing I never got: when people are theoretically "speaking" a foreign language but we are "hearing" English for narrative clarity/elimination of subtitles, why do they feel compelled to speak in the accent of the country they are NOT speaking the language of? (Example - in Hunt for Red October, it is EXPLICITLY clear that the fact we are hearing English is a narrative conceit; so why should anyone on the sub be compelled to speak with a faux-Russian accent, except when they are communicating with people who speak English? Inquiring minds want to know)
This is one thing comics have the advantage in as you know the characters are talking in a foreign language when you see these "<......>" then you know you would not actually be hearing English.
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