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MMMMMOOOOoooooooo ...... crunch

post #1 of 32
11/7/07 at 11:24am
Thread Starter 
Or, Suicidal cow takes out family van, film at 11

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php...show_article=1

=========================

MANSON, Wash. (AP) - Charles and Linda Everson were driving back to their hotel when their minivan was struck by a falling object—a 600-pound cow.

The Eversons were unhurt but the cow, which had fallen off a cliff, had to be euthanized.

The year-old cow fell about 200 feet from the cliff and landed on the hood of the couple's minivan, causing heavy damage.

A Chelan County fire chief, Arnold Baker, said the couple missed being killed by a matter of inches in the accident Sunday on a highway near Manson.

The Eversons, visiting the area from their home in Westland, Mich., to celebrate their first wedding anniversary, were checked at Lake Chelan Community Hospital as a precaution.

Everson, 49, said he didn't see the cow falling and didn't know what happened until afterward.

He said he kept repeating: "I don't believe this. I don't believe this."

==================

As God as my witness, I thought cows could fly.
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post #2 of 32
11/7/07 at 12:28pm
The original ending to Magnolia!
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post #3 of 32
11/7/07 at 12:34pm
"Goodbye, cruel pasture!"
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post #4 of 32
11/7/07 at 1:28pm

Cosmic!!!

Somewhere, Ted Knight (wearing a cow hand-puppet), while writing his JM J Bullock-riddled memoirs, is amused and/or horrified.
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post #5 of 32
11/7/07 at 1:30pm
I've always said this; If you give a cow the opportunity, it will try and fuck you up without warning. Yet one of the many reasons never to stop eating meat.
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post #6 of 32
11/7/07 at 1:44pm
Amen, Ed, Amen. I think I'll have a steak tonight to celebrate.
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post #7 of 32
11/7/07 at 1:58pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
Somewhere, Ted Knight (wearing a cow hand-puppet), while writing his JM J Bullock-riddled memoirs, is amused and/or horrified.
Sadly, the late actor is probably commiserating with the cow in Bovine Heaven.

Still, his bio would be fun to read.

"JM J and Me"
or, my years of enslavement by the charismatic and hypersexual powerhorse that is JM J Bullock.
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post #8 of 32
11/7/07 at 3:56pm
I knew there would be fall out from that twister.
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post #9 of 32
11/7/07 at 5:07pm
Is that classified as hunting?
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post #10 of 32
11/7/07 at 5:37pm
Is it that time of year again? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_Days
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post #11 of 32
11/7/07 at 5:39pm
Thread Starter 
This isn't cow tipping, it's cow toppling.

I'm just wondering if the cow left a note.
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post #12 of 32
11/7/07 at 5:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector
I'm just wondering if the cow left a note.

Too MOO it may concern....?
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post #13 of 32
11/7/07 at 5:55pm
This event is clearly a manifestation of the cosmic turmoil we are creating by tampering with an eight-limbed Indian girl. Fuck with the girl, you get the horns!!
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post #14 of 32
11/8/07 at 12:46am
Quote:
Charles and Linda Everson were driving back to their hotel when their minivan was struck by a falling object—a 600-pound cow.

The Eversons were unhurt because it later turned out they were a family of werewolves, but the cow, which had fallen off a cliff, had to be euthanized.[/B]
...
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post #15 of 32
11/8/07 at 3:02am
Quit milking it, you guys.
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post #16 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:06pm
Am I the only one shocked that the cow survived long enough to be put out of its misery? 200 feet!
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post #17 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:19pm
Well, can't say I'd want steaks or burgers out of that cow, too tough.
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post #18 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:26pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin
Well, can't say I'd want steaks or burgers out of that cow, too tough.
And eating around the hood ornament is never fun.

Oh well, what's done is done. No use crying over spilled milk.
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post #19 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:30pm
Quote:
And eating around the hood ornament is never fun.
Shame it wasn't a steer. The family could have walked away with a Boss Hogg style hood ornament.

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post #20 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:32pm
Yea yea, it's all fun and games with you guys when it isn't YOUR lives at steak!
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post #21 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:32pm
When Chuck Norris drives his cattle cross country, he just slings the fuckers one at a time. Chuck don't like riding in the damn mud and rain.
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post #22 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector
And eating around the hood ornament is never fun.
Hey, it's difficult to get that unique flavor that only a Chevy car hood and Route 79 asphalt can provide.
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post #23 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:48pm
Sadly, the Dish and the Spoon were not available for questioning.
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post #24 of 32
11/8/07 at 1:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox News
Friends and family gathered for the memorial service at Bovine University this afternoon, where the young cattle was just finishing up her Masters degree in Physics. Police have released a statement calling this 'a tipping incident gone wrong' and no charges have been laid at this time. The family is asking for 2 litre jugs of milk and cuts of sirloin in lieu of flowers.
Wow.
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post #25 of 32
11/8/07 at 2:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
Wow.
Yeah. I mean, it makes you stop and think. Should I have the double, or triple BK Stacker?
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post #26 of 32
11/8/07 at 2:36pm
If this tragedy has taught us anything, it's that life is too precious and short. Who know's when you might suddenly topple 200 feet off a cliff and hit some poor bastard's car?

Triple EVERYTHING my friends, live to the fullest. And fattest.
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post #27 of 32
11/8/07 at 2:46pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
If this tragedy has taught us anything, it's that life is too precious and short. Who know's when you might suddenly topple 200 feet off a cliff and hit some poor bastard's car?

Triple EVERYTHING my friends, live to the fullest. And fattest.
Trejo, I can only wonder if the sad participant in this nursery-rhyme-gone-wrong had the same expression on her face as she toppled from the mountain....
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post #28 of 32
11/8/07 at 4:35pm
Ow, too many bad puns...

You people should be punished!!!
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post #29 of 32
11/8/07 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl
Ow, too many bad puns...

You people should be punished!!!
Please tell me this was intentional
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post #30 of 32
11/8/07 at 4:48pm
I think this confirms that Douglas Adams made it to heaven.
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post #31 of 32
11/8/07 at 7:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
Please tell me this was intentional
I'm sneaky that way.
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post #32 of 32
11/8/07 at 10:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
Sadly, the Dish and the Spoon were not available for questioning.
Have to spread the rep around...but damn, this is priceless
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