Hugs = Punishable Offenses. Educators = Unbelievable Morons.

Looking at the picture in the article, it's obvious she's a serial offender and, even worse, is luring her little sister into the same life of crime.

Obviously we should blame the parents lax view of discipline and the distinct lack of enforced xbox or tv time.

Hugging? For real? Meanwhile, teachers kidnap kids, take em across state borders, rape them (not "having an affair" or "having sex") and only do minimal jail time, if any at all.

I love the world today. We've gotten to the point where nobody trusts anyone and human contact is outlawed. Fantastic!

Sounds like you need a hug.

I'd hug that.

I'd hug her damn brains out.

Hope you assholes like detention!

If she were Richard Gere and her school were India, it still wouldn't make any friggin sense.

"Would you want to Hug me? I'd Hug Me"

I'll hug anything that moves.

Luckily all my hugs are given in anger.

I want to hug you like an animal. Probably a bear, but who knows?

"This town is like a giant pussy cat just waiting to be hugged!"

Fucking suave.

GROUP HUG! Then, if you don't mind, I'm gonna kiss the monkey!

I don't really have anything to add except that is it just me or does this girls mom look alot like Cynthia Stevenson, who played George's mom on "Dead Like Me"?

Why didn't they just hug it out?

Is that what you're calling "RAPE" these days?

"Anger hugs"? Damn this PC generation.

stelios said: "I look forward to the day when we'll have to use state appointed intermediaries to address each other."

The above post has been examined by the appropriate authorities and has been deemed suitable for reading with the following warnings: contains mild sarcasm and mediocre English. If the above conditions distress you please refrain from reading the above post.

James P. Plink
3rd Level Interpersonal Communications Supervisor.

Then you're not getting the most out of your hugs.

Same philosophy about "dry humping". If it's dry, you're not working hard enough.

You clearly haven't been paying attention to the places I've been humping.

Which can lead to sex... if you play your cards right.

I often cruise elementary schools just waiting for kids to hug, eventually a state will grow tired of my rampant hugging and I have to move. Luckily, my substantial hugging record rarely follows me from state to state, so I can go on hugging and hugging and hugging....

Don't know if this got posted back in June, but this story is along the same lines. The best part of the story is this quote, by the president of the PTA:

I remember watching the CNN video of this story, and when Ms. Baker made this comment I could feel my brain melting out of my ears.

The Todd does NOT approve.

Neither does this man:



Fact is, this could create an international incident.

My guess is that nobody EVER gave Ms. Baker a high-five in her entire life, so this is her payback.

Seriously, people have been high-fiving each other for many a moon, same as giving someone a hug, and there's been no deaths, rapes, peace without honor, transmission of STDs, or global thermonuclear war as a result. Why the hell is any of this an issue NOW? Was there a study done that by 2010 the human race as we know it will sudden become extinct due to expressions of congratulations or affection? I told my wife I loved her this morning - do you think this might have any bearing on oil prices in the near future?

Any time anyone gets irked over minutia like this, I wholeheartedly recommend taking a Louisville Slugger to said inidviduals head. Repeatedly.

Actually, this was taken on September 10, 2001:



the next day:



Do the math.

In regards to that PTA woman, is it just me, or does it sometimes seem like parents are the ones who shouldn't have kids? Reminds me of this Onion article:

Earth to be Made Child-Safe

Tell that to Ron Silver in TIMECOP, my friend.

Threads regarding overly strict/moronic school rules crop up from time to time, and I always have a pretty much identical response. I'll offer it again here.

Unless you're dealing with a truly feckless school board, these rules almost never have anything to do with educators. They are "suggested", or more realistically imposed, by insurers. In this day and age the insuring of public schools is an expensive proposition, particularly given that teachers, the police, and school administrators have shown themselves incapable of fostering a safe, supportive environment. Anything the school can do to bring down insurance premiums, they're going to do.

What's the biggest killer for a school? Evidence that a perpetrator or offender engaged in prior similar acts, and nothing was done, or evidence that the school either had lax rules or did not enforce the rules they have. These issues are magnified when physical contact is at issue.

What is the result? Zero tolerance for physical contact, rules prohibiting students from touching (which, frankly, I'd prefer if schools are unable to keep children from attacking or bullying one another), metal detectors, and a prison camp mentality These rules must be strictly enforced, or an attorney is going to have a field day when a perpetual hugger takes a baseball bat to another student on school ground.

It's not right, but the schools care more about keeping premiums in check than they do about common sense. And insurers truly don't care about common sense: if a rule is feasible and statistically/legally more likely to result in fewer/smaller claims, they're going to ask it be put in place or they are going to charge more. It's like insuring a 100 million dollar diamond; typically you grant to the insurance company the authority to handle almost all of the security work, because otherwise they're going to charge you five times as much, if they write the policy at all.

Hmmm...never looked at it from the money point of view (although now, that does make some weird logical sense). Enlightening, Overlord! Thank you for posting that. Certainly something to think about, I suppose.

This is the stuff I deal with every day. Glad to give you a window into my world. Enjoy!

Don't take this the wrong way, but that post just made me realize how much I'm not ready for those kinds of jokes just yet.

Poor bastard, no wonder you're a drunkard!

Does all this mean that if Lakshmi the Indian Octo-child hugged someone, she'd automatically be a repeat offender?

Are they allowed to suspend child gods? I'm not sure if that's been precedented yet.

What if she High-5d her own parasitic twin?

The Todd would probably suffer a fatal brain aneurysm. But it's how he would've wanted to go.

I think I'm ok with high-fives... but I'll be damned if they start allowing high-sixes. The last high-six I saw was back in '87, and I doubt I'll ever get all of the blood and screaming out of my head.

You wouldn't be if you had heard my grandfather's story of the group high-five of '32. Here he is re-enacting the, what seemed to be, harmless raised hand slap with a group of friends a few years ago:



Don't let the smiles fool you. What started off as a celebration quickly turned into a scene of violence and mayhem the likes of which wasn't seen again until December 7, 1941.

You're not familiar with the High-Five Exploding Heart Technique of... DEATH???

All it takes for a high-5 to go bad is for someone to momentarily face the other way, then we've got kids saluting Hitler in our schools and hallways. Is this what our WWII veterans fought and died for?

What, the Heil-Fünf isn't an acceptable congratulatory protocol where you're from?