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Worst Hit Pop Song Since 1990

post #1 of 185
11/29/07 at 5:50pm
Thread Starter 
I'm pretty sure it comes down to a tie between "Hey Leonardo" by Blessed Union of Souls, or "Summer Girls" by LFO, but the 3 minutes of absolute lyrical nonsense of "Summer Girls" may just push it over the edge. The fucking song starts off "New Kids on the block had a bunch of hits/Chinese food makes me sick" and just goes down hill from there.
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post #2 of 185
11/29/07 at 5:55pm
Nope. Any song with the line "Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton" is okay in my book.

My book, The Importance of Being Misfit, coming next summer from HarperCollins.

I really do kind of like that song though. Sue me.
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post #3 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:00pm
I have to say, though I never crossed over into liking it, the absolute inanity of LFO's lyrics had some appeal.

My pick would be Eve 6 - Inside Out. It's like a four minute clinic in awful metaphor and cliche images. My thoughts in bold:

I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds, (the rinds of his pride. awesome)
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside,
swallow my doubt
turn it inside out (this is a non-sequitur and a terrible rhyme scheme)
find nothing but faith in nothing. (7th grade poetry)
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion. (the worst two lines I've ever heard in a song)
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you (I don't even know what this has to do with the rest of this crap. Is he rendezvousing with his blended heart?)
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post #4 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:05pm
"Mambo No. 5."

Though I'm selecting that one to cover up the fact that I secretly love it.
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post #5 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:06pm
Oh, and though I love the song unabashedly, I have to nominate Phoenix Stone - There's Nothing Good About Goodbye. I strongly suggest downloading this song at the next available opportunity. This song features the following brilliant line:

"What's so wrong that it can't be right?"

It's like a play-at-home version of The Aristocrats.
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post #6 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:06pm
"Hey There Delilah" is truly terrible, as is everything by Fergie. I can't remember many bad songs beyond the last year or so, though, because I think I've blocked them from memory.
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post #7 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:07pm
Yeah, there really is no denying that LFO song. The lyrics are so insane that they had to be a joke band. Even if they weren't, amazing.
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post #8 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors
"Hey There Delilah" is truly terrible, as is everything by Fergie. I can't remember many bad songs beyond the last year or so, though, because I think I've blocked them from memory.
I have a thought on that song, which essentially amounts to the fact that if anyone ever talks to me about "making history like I do", they're getting punched in the mouth. Not being an internet tough guy, just matter-of-fact.
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post #9 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
Yeah, their really is no denying that LFO song. The lyrics are so insane that they had to be a joke band. Even if they weren't, amazing.
Their next song had a brilliant line about breaking up with a girlfriend, and the girlfriend telling the entire town that the lead singer was gay. Joking or not, that's gold.
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post #10 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:09pm
Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" (Titanic)...

Discussion over.
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post #11 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The LD
I have a thought on that song, which essentially amounts to the fact that if anyone ever talks to me about "making history like I do", they're getting punched in the mouth. Not being an internet tough guy, just matter-of-fact.
Well said. The narrator in that song is the world's biggest douchebag. I just can't fucking stand it, and it was EVERYWHERE for a while. I think I actually started a thread about it when it was at its worst.
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post #12 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:22pm
"My Humps". It constitutes the only song that actually makes me feel a little embarassed for the musicians performing it. I just looked it up on Youtube and it hurt me to hear it. I'd rather a weekend full of Celine Dion (maybe even "Christmas Shoes") than 2 minutes of this nonsense... although I hear Dev likes to shake it to this spiritual abortion.
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post #13 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:29pm
I'll throw my vote in for "Sk8er Boi". The most inane song I've had the misfortune to hear by accident. How can it not at least crack the top ten worst since '90 with lyrics like this (apologies):

He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk.
And she did ballet.
What morea can I say?
He wanted her.
She'd never tell.
Secretely she wanted him as well.
And all of her friends
Stuck up their nose.
And they had a problem with his baggy clothes.
He was a sk8er boi she said see ya later boi.
He wasn't good enough for her.
She had a pretty face but her head was up in space.
She needed to come back down to earth.
Five years from now she sits at home feeding the baby she's all alone.
She turns on TV and guess who she sees.
Sk8er boi rocking up MTV.
She calls up her friends.
They already know
And they've all got tickets to see his show.
She tags along, stands in the crowd . Looks up at the man that she turned down.
He was a sk8er boi she said see ya later boi. He wasn't good enough for her.
Now he's a superstar slammin on his guitar to show pretty face what he's worth.
Sorry girl but you missed out. Well tough luck that boi's mine now. We are more than just good friends. This is how the story ends. Too
bad that you couldn't see.. see the man that boi could be. There is more than meets the eye, I see the soul that is inside.
He's just a boi, and I'm just a girl.
Can I make it anymore obvious?
We are in love.
Haven't you heard how we rock eachother's world?
I met the sk8er boi I said see ya later boi.
I'll be backstage after the show.
I'll be at the studio singing the song he wrote about a girl he use to know.
I met the sk8er boi I said see ya later boi.
I'll be backstage after the show.
I'll be at the studio singing the song he wrote about a girl he use to know.
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post #14 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:30pm
To paraphrase John Skipp and Craig Spector, every time I hear "My Humps" I can feel brain cells dying, like sparks flying off a burning building.

And yes, Devin defended it with some asinine "music should be fun" cop-out.
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post #15 of 185
11/29/07 at 6:54pm
You know what makes "Sk8er Boi" even more awesome - "boi" is used by some in the queer community to refer to a young, butch lesbian or to a genderqueer biological male homosexual. There was a period there, when Nelly and Avril were both big, that the LGBTQ community was really (accidentally) getting its due on TRL.

As for the topic of the thread - I don't know that I could possibly pick. There are just so many horrors out there. But "Hey There, Delilah" is not among them.
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post #16 of 185
11/29/07 at 7:04pm
"Dontcha" by the Pussycat Dolls.

I had issues with my last ex with many things. The way I dressed, her temper and pessimism, the distance in general.

Upon hearing the song for the first time with me in the car, the first words out of her mouth were "If a girl ever says that to you, if you don't stab her skank ass where she stands, I'll stab you, THEN stab her."

Call me crazy, I'd like to think that reaction bought the relationship a couple more months.
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post #17 of 185
11/29/07 at 7:29pm
Actually, I was reading that when it was posted, and it occurred to me that I have NO IDEA what she's trying to make obvious. Unless it's referencing their sexes alone, but I think there are dots I'm supposed to be connecting.
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post #18 of 185
11/29/07 at 7:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
As for the topic of the thread - I don't know that I could possibly pick. There are just so many horrors out there. But "Hey There, Delilah" is not among them.
Yeah, I still don't get the hate for this one at all. Lyrics aside, it's pretty. It sounds like Elliott Smith meets Simon & Garfunkel. Lyrics not aside, well, I hadn't really paid much attention until this thread prompted me to look them up. It reads a lot more like a character sketch to me than the singer actually saying, "I, singer in the Plain White Ts, am going to be famous someday, and you, Delilah, shall graciously put out for me." Judging from the melancholy tone of the song, it sounds like things aren't looking so bright.

I don't think I'll be seeking out the rest of the band's catalog anytime soon, but it's one of the hit songs this year that I didn't hate. It's weird to see it slammed with some of these others.
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post #19 of 185
11/29/07 at 7:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveB
Yeah, I still don't get the hate for this one at all. Lyrics aside, it's pretty. It sounds like Elliott Smith meets Simon & Garfunkel. Lyrics not aside, well, I hadn't really paid much attention until this thread prompted me to look them up. It reads a lot more like a character sketch to me than the singer actually saying, "I, singer in the Plain White Ts, am going to be famous someday, and you, Delilah, shall graciously put out for me." Judging from the melancholy tone of the song, it sounds like things aren't looking so bright.

I don't think I'll be seeking out the rest of the band's catalog anytime soon, but it's one of the hit songs this year that I didn't hate. It's weird to see it slammed with some of these others.
To be fair, I don't hate the song, it's just that one passage that's miserable in my eyes. I actually kinda dig the "planes and trains and cars" section. On the whole, it's forgettable, and probably mostly hateable by virtue of its absolute mediocrity.

Edit: Still, who talks about "making history" as though it's a character trait? So damn stupid, character sketch or not.
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post #20 of 185
11/29/07 at 7:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark
"Dontcha" by the Pussycat Dolls.

I had issues with my last ex with many things. The way I dressed, her temper and pessimism, the distance in general.

Upon hearing the song for the first time with me in the car, the first words out of her mouth were "If a girl ever says that to you, if you don't stab her skank ass where she stands, I'll stab you, THEN stab her."

Call me crazy, I'd like to think that reaction bought the relationship a couple more months.
The first time I heard that I was in the south, and I thought it was some sort of regional trashy hit. I kept hearing the chorus and thinking, "No." Chicks who treat this song like an anthem have loose change falling out of their vagina.


Also:

"Tubthumping" is fucking awesome. Boo to that choice.

"My Humps"- that song just bowls me over. I want to hate it, but I barely believe it exists.

Anyone heard of this Colby Calliat person? He/she has some hit song about bubbles or some shit. I heard someone recite the lyrics the other day and it almost made me punch Michael Landon's corpse.
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post #21 of 185
11/29/07 at 8:18pm
"Tubthumping" is great, if only because it was used with awesomeness in the UCB sketch.

"Chumba-wumba!"

Oh come on Kabong, hasn't Michael Landon suffered enough at the hands of you already?
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post #22 of 185
11/29/07 at 8:22pm
Remember, they even announced a Sk8tr Boi movie. Glad that never happened.
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post #23 of 185
11/29/07 at 8:44pm
Eminem - Just Lose It.

It's not even a song.

edit: Also,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Zooey
a genderqueer biological male homosexual
is my new favourite way to describe a gay man.
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post #24 of 185
11/29/07 at 8:52pm
how is the macarena not on this god forsaken list?
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post #25 of 185
11/29/07 at 9:03pm
Thread Starter 
Anyone who listed "Tubthumping" is dead to me. Sorry, that song's too fundamental a part of my adolescence. I'm blinded by nostalgia. Also, the trumpets rule.
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post #26 of 185
11/29/07 at 9:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by KABONG
"My Humps"- that song just bowls me over. I want to hate it, but I barely believe it exists.
This is exactly the way I feel about that song. Its the essence of Paris Hilton put to "song". You're disgusted, but can't help but be kind of impressed that something can be so successful without any discernable talent or passion.

My vote would go for the Eve 6 song, because it has more than just asinine lyrics. The music sounds like a couple of 13 year-olds trying out the instruments they got for Christmas on New Years Day.
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post #27 of 185
11/29/07 at 10:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andre Dellamorte
The problem with critiquing My Humps is that if you play it at a dance club, people dance, and they are happy to do so while the song is playing. Yes its lyrics are inane, but a lot of funky music have nonsense lyrics. Since I assume a lot of its critics don't go out dancing, the attack seems moot.
When it comes to danceable music, inane, nonsense lyrics are acceptable. Not preferable, mind you, but acceptable. Not to mention, the worst offenders of the genre tend to not go anywhere outside of the club.

The thing with My Humps is that, dance music or not, it's got the kind of lyrics that should make the vaginas of every semi-intelligent female within listening distance bleed on cue. And you can generally hear it EVERYWHERE.

Most club/trance music is benign. Reggae and dancehall are malignant. Bad hip-hop is metastatic. My Humps is the Middle Finger of God.
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post #28 of 185
11/29/07 at 10:19pm
As tempted as I am to pick Semisonic's "Closing Time" (sooo much hate), I have to go with Train's "Meet Virginia". A polite reminder of the chorus for those who have forgotten (fools!) or suppressed (how I envy you!) memory of this song:

Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back, as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"

(Note how "life" cleverly rhymes with both "life" and "life".)

I can forgive aggressively pop-y stuff -- it's usually just the disposable trash it's been specifically designed to be, and occassionally it's something special. What really wears on me are the completely uninspired songs bland enough to be heard on numerous station formats that then get over-spun for years on end.

Man, how I don't miss FM. I kind of envy the teens lucky enough to grow up with Pandora, SIRIUS, podcasts et al.
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post #29 of 185
11/29/07 at 10:23pm
Thread Starter 
"She doesn't own a dress, her hair is always a mess..."
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post #30 of 185
11/29/07 at 10:39pm
Huh. I was always under the impression that "My Humps" had a terrible, terrible beat even by "mindless club music" standards.
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post #31 of 185
11/29/07 at 11:24pm
Big Audio Dynamite-"Rush"

Crash Test Dummies-"Mmmm mmm mmmm"

Nickelback-"Rock Star"
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post #32 of 185
11/29/07 at 11:31pm
"Who Let The Dogs Out?" - The Baha Men

You couldn't let a day go by without hearing that song in some stupid capacity. Thankfully those days are long gone.
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post #33 of 185
11/29/07 at 11:32pm
Thread Starter 
I have also, thankfully, forgotten about "The Thong Song" by Sisqo and "100 Years" by Five For Fighting. The latter's a serious contender.
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post #34 of 185
11/30/07 at 1:00am
Are we going only by the standards of lyrics? Because most of the time that doesn't kill a song for me. It can make a song, but rarely can it kill a song.

I hate any of the thousands of disposable hip-hop songs that pollute the radio. Recent offender would be "Souja boy" or whatever the fuck, but it's all stupid and basic trash, and when people try to pass it off as anything other than completely and utterly retarded and useless, I want to kill them with my bare kill.
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post #35 of 185
11/30/07 at 1:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Collins
The Titanic song is like The Beatles in comparison.
I dedicate the 2 minute mark to you.
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post #36 of 185
11/30/07 at 1:16am
I'd like to thank Rath for reinserting "Hey Leonardo" into my fucking skull. It will never leave this time. Jesus.

I'll nominate Joey McIntyre's "Stay the Same" if anyone can even remember that. How I even remember it, I don't know. But I've always hated it.

I'll admit it. I kinda like "Hey There Delilah"....Please don't hit me when we meet, Joe.
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post #37 of 185
11/30/07 at 5:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by beamish13
Big Audio Dynamite-"Rush"

Crash Test Dummies-"Mmmm mmm mmmm"

Nickelback-"Rock Star"
I will second "Rock Star" and happily add all previous Nickelback singles to the shitlist. If you have nothing interesting to write songs about, then at least make the actual music pleasant to listen to.
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post #38 of 185
11/30/07 at 8:00am
Anything by the Backstreet Boys. Fuck those guys. The same thing goes for the entire boy band revolution.

"Drops of Jupiter" by Train. Not only are the lyrics awful, the steal the melody of Dobie Gray's "Drift Away" for their refrain pretty much note for note.
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post #39 of 185
11/30/07 at 9:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
I'll nominate Joey McIntyre's "Stay the Same" if anyone can even remember that. How I even remember it, I don't know. But I've always hated it.
Ten to one says an ex-roommate of ours with unusually loud computer speakers used to play it during college.
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post #40 of 185
11/30/07 at 9:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by beamish13
Big Audio Dynamite-"Rush"
Fuck -- "You".

That's an awesome little song there.
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post #41 of 185
11/30/07 at 10:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
Chumbawamba with "Tubthumping"

Fuck that song. Along with Lavigne.
I can only defend it with as being a "guilty pleasure." VERY guilty - but it's more a victim of overplay than anything - as a fun little piece of mediocrity heard very occasionally, I'd say it's probably bad but not the worst.
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post #42 of 185
11/30/07 at 10:09am
Anyway, this thead makes me thrilled I tend to listen to talk radio, that my city has two decent independent stations when talk radio is boring, and that I wallow in the irony/nostalgia of VH1 Classic, because I am blissfully unaware of the bulk of these songs. And hope to keep it that way.
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post #43 of 185
11/30/07 at 10:16am
Yo listen up: here's a story
About a little guy
That lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees is
Just blue like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue Corvette and everything is blue for him
And himself and everybody around
'Cause he aint got nobody to listen: ...
(GUNSHOT)
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post #44 of 185
11/30/07 at 11:22am
This thread reminds me that I am a pop whore, because I actually guiltily like a lot of the songs mentioned here. "Thong Song" will always have a special place in my heart for nostalgia reasons as well (nostalgia = dirty, slutty hoes dancing to it during college parties)
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post #45 of 185
11/30/07 at 11:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
I'll admit it. I kinda like "Hey There Delilah"....Please don't hit me when we meet, Joe.
You're safe so long as you don't start singing it! If someone says they like it, fine, agree to disagree and all that -- I'm not the kind of person who judges someone based on their like or dislike of a particular song. But that one just annoys the living life out of me.
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post #46 of 185
11/30/07 at 11:25am
Thread Starter 
Hey, say what you want about the second boy band era, and I can say plenty, but the fact that "I Want It That Way" is a great pop tune is undeniable.
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post #47 of 185
11/30/07 at 11:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
The fact that it played non-stop for 4 years didn't help it's case, revealing the true horror beneath.
Four years straight? What were you, the Mayor of Chumbatown?
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post #48 of 185
11/30/07 at 11:37am
what about Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get it Started" or "Let's Get Retarded"...radio friendly version or not, I fucking hate that song.
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post #49 of 185
11/30/07 at 11:59am
There are so many astoundingly awful songs mentioned in this thread, but also some I must stand up for: "Tubthumping," "Hey there, Delilah," the entire existence of LFO. Surely there are worse offenders.

I nominate anything the Black Eyed Peas have ever done. Not just "My Humps," which is still horrendous no matter how many people dance to it, but let's not forget their song that samples "Misirlou."

I'll also add anything by Creed. Surely that horror has not been forgotten.
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post #50 of 185
11/30/07 at 12:06pm
OMC's "How Bizarre" sucked pretty bad too. Oh, and LEM's "Steal My Sunshine". The key is finding the really obscure songs that sucked enough to get significant airtime for like, 3 weeks.
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