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We're on a highway to...umm, Heaven?

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
http://www.towleroad.com/2007/11/pat-robertson-g.html

"According to Pat Robertson, God is using superhighway I-35 that runs from Canada to Mexico through the midwest to purify America from sin. He says "I-35 is the highway spoken of in Isaiah 35:8 - "And a highway will be there; it will be called the way of holiness."

So, evangelical Christians have set aside 35 days to use the cities around I-35 to rid America of sin, meaning "abortion clinics, gay bars, strip joints, and porn shops." God is using "purity sieges" to set America free.

And they're apparently working - homosexuals, like James Stabile, a drunk gay who stumbled across a purity siege, was cured when a pastor touched him and yelled "Fire!"

Stabile: "I didn't feel the desires to be with men like I felt before." Shazam!"
post #2 of 18
So Mexico...is heaven?
post #3 of 18
It's a shame they were too late to make the pitstop in Wichita to meet and greet with the BTK Killer.
post #4 of 18
Oh goddammit. 35 runs through my hometown (BTK! woot woot!) and up to where all my old friends now live. If I go back at Christmas time and find myself unable to find a conveniently located porn shop on the way to vist a bunch of sober, pregnant people, then I'm going to make it my personal mission in life to fuck Pat Robertson in the ass.
post #5 of 18
Not sure how 35 is now, but it was fucked around the Oklahoma/Texas border. That was several years ago.
post #6 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
So Mexico...is heaven?
Well, it really all depends if you're traveling north or southbound...

This theology stuff is complicated!
post #7 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by leeVSbenway
What a fantastic use of shorthand for your target audience.

For rational people, this is (of course) hilariously offensive. Still, it's good to know the anti-gay codeword, just in case I'm ever tempted.
post #8 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey
Well, it really all depends if you're traveling north or southbound...

This theology stuff is complicated!
So Canada....is heaven?
post #9 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
So Canada....is heaven?
Belinda Carlisle is as yet undecided, and reserving opinion on the subject.
post #10 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice
So Mexico...is heaven?
Laredo, Texas.


And, no. That place is FAR from heaven.
post #11 of 18
Well, quit your whining and make room, already.
post #12 of 18
Calm down guys, there's plenty Pat to go around...
post #13 of 18
You guys rectal diving Pat Robertson is like rain on his wedding day. Or perhaps the free ride when he's already paid.

Definitely not the good advice that you just didn't take, though.
post #14 of 18
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pat_Robertson

"Big fat nancy nancy-boy faggot."
post #15 of 18
He told me all he had was the Spirit. If that's true, then the Spirit shreds like broken glass and burns like fresh coffee.
post #16 of 18
What Pat says makes sense. It finally clears up that bit in Isaiah where he says, "The road will take you straight to Heaven, but avoid it around 5:30 PM because you're looking at a forty-five minute delay outside Round Rock."
post #17 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove
Laredo, Texas.
And, no. That place is FAR from heaven.
So, Lubbock then?
post #18 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove
That place is FAR from heaven.
Wait, they know Dennis Quaid isn't really gay, right?
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