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The 'Cloverfield' review over at AICN

post #1 of 22
12/1/07 at 9:31am
Thread Starter 
Cloverfield review

Hahaha, do they just run every review they get?

C'mon, "It was awesome" just reads like some sort of obtuse internet punchline.
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post #2 of 22
12/1/07 at 2:12pm
No, Total Recall was supposed to be Star Wars.
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post #3 of 22
12/1/07 at 2:28pm
Ah, but they never said *which* "Star Wars," which supports what I've been theorizing for weeks: The monster is a giant Acklay!
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post #4 of 22
12/1/07 at 2:51pm
The Quest For Hits.
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post #5 of 22
12/1/07 at 2:55pm
The monster is a giant Aykroyd.


It just popped in there.
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post #6 of 22
12/1/07 at 2:59pm
Whew, at least the talkbackers aren't sucking Harry's cock on this one. Faith in humanity regained.
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post #7 of 22
12/1/07 at 4:27pm
One of the many reasons I stopped going to AICN. Harry never got an anonymous e-mail that he didn't think was worth taking up server space posting. Who gets a message like that and thinks "Oh, I gots to share this!"?
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post #8 of 22
12/1/07 at 5:27pm
Dumb as this is, it still doesnt top Harry choosing "House of flying daggers" over "Hero" because (i shit you not) its Emperor/nation theme was too "bushian" for him....they edited a few days later, but still, one the dumbest things Ive read in my life.
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post #9 of 22
12/1/07 at 6:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Knowles
Now - personally - that's crazy Hyperbole... isn't it?
Goddammit, crazy_HYPERBOLE needs to stop posting these mini-reviews; all of his posts feel deliberately exaggerated for some reason.
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post #10 of 22
12/1/07 at 6:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Eko
Is there anything Knowles won't run?
Moriarty's script review of JJ Abrams' Superman. If you're a well-known name, and you cry to him over the phone, he'll pull the article.
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post #11 of 22
12/1/07 at 6:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Eko
Is there anything Knowles won't run?
A treadmill.

Yeah, I went there. Respect has to be earned.
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post #12 of 22
12/1/07 at 7:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
Moriarty's script review of JJ Abrams' Superman. If you're a well-known name, and you cry to him over the phone, he'll pull the article.
Only... that's not true. The review is still on the site, and always has been. It never got pulled. Never got censored. Never got edited. It's easy to cast Harry as the villain, but it didn't happen.

He did write his own reaction, which was different than mine. But mine never got pulled. If it had, I wouldn't be at that site now.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/13350

There it is, in case you don't believe me.
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post #13 of 22
12/1/07 at 8:27pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by reggie-wanker
A treadmill.

Yeah, I went there. Respect has to be earned.
Hahahaha.
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post #14 of 22
12/1/07 at 10:36pm
That site is one big fucking headache. I go there every once in awhile just to reiterate how much more respect I have for CHUD.

*takes Nick's and Devin's cocks out of mouth*

...guys?
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post #15 of 22
12/1/07 at 10:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by reggie-wanker
A treadmill.

Yeah, I went there. Respect has to be earned.
Well, he is in a wheelchair. Which makes it difficult.

I don't know why I'm defending him. Maybe if he lets me into a Butt Numb a Thon...
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post #16 of 22
12/2/07 at 12:52am
I don't understand AICN's new movie grading methodology. Did Cloverfield lick Hairy's taint, or what? Were there glistening pink bits involved? How many Trembling Spooge Blasts out of five Trembling Spooge Blasts?
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post #17 of 22
12/2/07 at 1:07am
Quote:
Well, he is in a wheelchair. Which makes it difficult.
Unless you get a wheelchair treadmill. That wouldn't technically be running, but close enough.
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post #18 of 22
12/2/07 at 1:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by reggie-wanker
That wouldn't technically be running, but close enough.
That computer monitor looks hilariously out of place on that state of the art treadmill.
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post #19 of 22
12/2/07 at 1:29am
I wish Devin had a little nephew he'd mention all the time, and a girlfriend he could pleasure for hours and hours at a time only so he could tell us about it later in the five-paragraph long introduction of his newest review.

Oh, and cried as he peed after watching Jesse James.

And have a disturbingly deep emotional attachment to every single movie, TV show, magazine, book and toy that's ever been released in the past 22 years.

Also, if you could find a way to always mention your kidnapping as a child, your parent's adventurous escapades and Forrest J Ackerman into every second article you do, that'd be solid.

Edit: What I'm trying to say is, Harry's reviews are astoundingly annoying.
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post #20 of 22
12/2/07 at 4:08am
I read CHUD to stay away from shit like this.
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post #21 of 22
12/12/07 at 11:06pm
I sorta wish I coulda known Ackerman well enough to write about him in every second review.

And as far as I'm concerned, I'll be forever grateful to AICN. I read it faithfully for years, and one day I heard about CHUD in a talkback.
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post #22 of 22
12/13/07 at 2:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
One of the many reasons I stopped going to AICN. Harry never got an anonymous e-mail that he didn't think was worth taking up server space posting. Who gets a message like that and thinks "Oh, I gots to share this!"?
My favorite is one of the first, if not the first, scooper review for Kill Bill Vol.1 that Harry posted which simply read:

Holy shit.
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