Too Much Confidence?

Yes. It's called being a dick.

George W. Bush and Karl Rove are extremely confident.

Maybe she thought you being confident as being cocky. Woman are strange animals at best... So i try and be middle of the road, and lay off being confident. I just let them know what the hell I want ha ha Maybe in a weird say she wanted you to kind of "fight" for her in a way, and not make it all too easy. but then again, im going back to a girl that has not treated me well in the past...so yeah, take what ever i saw with a grain of salt.

what she said

Cuchulain, the way I see it is that she had the power, then you gained the power, and now she wants you to feel guilty for having the power. Don't. You wield it with more class and responsibility than she ever did.

I have to say that I've never entirely bought the school of thought that confidence and arrogance are different points on the same spectrum. To me, you can't be too confident, because it's simply a belief in one's one worth. The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you are.

By contrast, an arrogant person makes sure that other people know about their worth, which seems to be opposed to true confidence. If you're really content with yourself, you should feel very little need to broadcast it, since you should feel like the things that make you worthwhile are apparent in your interactions with others. Instead, I think it's a blend of insecurity and confidence that leads to arrogance. Rather than think "I'm a pretty good looking guy", the thought process sounds like "I think I'm a good looking guy, I'd better make sure other people know I'm good looking too."

I will say that I've often found that people who believe themselves to be confident are actually arrogant, but that's neither here nor there.

I hate posting on this board sometimes...the need for brevity (and my job) really cause me to post half-formed ideas.

What? You don't think there's some serious overlap there?

edit - crossposted with LD and I see what he's saying.

Sure you can be "too confident", but that shouldn't be mixed in with your own normal confidence making someone who has an extremely low sense of self worth feel even less than they already are. I think a lot of times people who are strongly confident (in the non dickish way) expose the envy and even longing in others who lack that confidence, and it in turn makes them feel bad about themselves. That shouldn't make you feel bad for feeling good about yourself.

She does need help, but not from you. Tell her to go work it out in therapy.

Confidence- knowing you are who you are and what you are. And for the most part where you are going. Faith in oneself, that you have overcome many odds and can do it again.

Arrogance-making others believe the above.

I think LD pretty much nailed it. Confidence is personal, akin to the "quiet cool". If you're confident with yourself, your outlook is pretty positive and people will respond favorably. Arrogance is akin to bragging - "Look how cool I am!" - and tends to repulse people.

I'd also listen to Graynadian - this chick sounds like she wanted you back because you weren't playing her game - you cahnged the rules on her. You don't need that shit. Enjoy your NEW girl, and I hope she treats you right.

Confidence is the act of knowing, while arrogance is the act of showing!

There, a little rhyme to keep it in your head!

...

I think the posters in this thread have managed to assemble a rough working definition of confidence, which is, if I may, a strong internal sense of self-worth. I would add to this the concept that true confidence is a justified strong internal sense of self-worth. I think that many people widely regarded as arrogant such as Paris Hilton and Dubya fit the limited definition of confidence, but rightly fail a more comprehensive definition which requires some impetus for their tremendous sense of self worth. I don't have a problem with anyone being full of themselves, as long as their confidence is more-or-less proportional to their achievements.

I am sincerely thankful that Stephen Lewis is an opinionated, stubborn man who is determined to see his vision brought to bear on the world, even if it is against the wishes of many people. Similarly, Gore Vidal has earned the right to be a testy curmudgeon.

An old girlfriend used to tell me that she'd feel stupid or bad about herself when she was around me sometimes. Though I really didn't have alot of confidence nor was I arrogant. Turns out when she'd say something that was incorrect, like the so and so actor in this movie was Josh Duhamel and I'd say "Nah, that's Timothy Olyphant", she'd feel dumb. I'd never say it in a condescending way, just matter of factly. She'd think I was too good for her and shit if I did something sweet for her.

Now is THAT off the reservation?

There is absolutely nothing dumb about that mistake. At all.

It's the fact you smacked her across her face that led to her feeling dumb, though.

Exactly my point!

It's like Dermot Mulroney and whoever that other guy was. It's one of those common mistakes that you shouldn't feel dumb for. Yet, she always did.


I think the slap was the highlight of her day. haha. Sick bastard.

Of course you can have too much confidence. It's so common we've invented a slew of words (cocky, arrogant, smug, etc.) to describe it.

Sure, you can get away with more if you aren't a pile of shit, but most people could do with regular reminders that they aren't the Shit's Tits.

I once had a girl I was dating tell me I was too optimistic. I dropped her like a hot rock.

The world's full of people looking to bring you down. Give 'em the Heisman.

Too optimistic? Really? I didn't think that was a character flaw. Or did she mean it in sort of a naive way? Being naive is one thing, but optimism with a healthy dose of pragmatism is the way to be.

She called me a Pollyanna. And I never called her again.

That Hayley Mills sure can act though.

Absolutely. If people (not just one person) are telling you that you're too confident, you're probably not just confident, but either foolhardy (let's say you get in a lot of barfights and get your ass kicked every time) or arrogant (when you're positive that every woman in the bar is checking you out).

Hey, I can't help it if they are checking me out. One of the burdens of having obnoxiously classic good looks.