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Jessica Alba is pregnant

post #1 of 217
Thread Starter 
Men = sad. More importantly, does anyone use rubbers? It seems no one does. Everyone is just bustin' it on da belly I guess.
post #2 of 217
post #3 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirby Drummond
Men = sad. More importantly, does anyone use rubbers? It seems no one does. Everyone is just bustin' it on da belly I guess.
She told me she was on the goddamn pill, okay?
post #4 of 217
Thread Starter 
Whatever to all that stuff. I'm more into: Is the rhythm method back in vogue? That stupid bitch from The Hills seems to be pregnant too.
post #5 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirby Drummond
Everyone is just bustin' it on da belly I guess.
I thought everyone busts it on the face.
post #6 of 217
Kirby, I thought why this happened was addressed in podcast #24.
post #7 of 217
Thread Starter 
Podcasts and me don't hang. So I wouldn't know.

BC --- can I bring this back into the realm of this forum if I ask all chewers: do you just roll the dice? Is everyone pulling out?
post #8 of 217
No way Alba makes it to the third trimester. All she's giving birth to is a stain on her 1200 thread-count sheets.
post #9 of 217
I will ALWAYS be Dickson. Deal with it.
post #10 of 217
I'm breathlessly awaiting the "Jessica Alba's boobs are ridiculous" thread.
post #11 of 217
Damn it!

Oh, well, at least I still have Sarah Michelle Gellar*, Paula Patton and Rosario Dawson on my "Must Impregnate" list.

* Yeah, I like her, FUCK OFF!
post #12 of 217
Where's my preggers countdown timer for Miley Cyrus?
post #13 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirby Drummond
Whatever to all that stuff. I'm more into: Is the rhythm method back in vogue?
If I answer "yes," will that help your case for tossing the jimmies aside when in the moment?
post #14 of 217
Did a Chewer get her pregnant? Inquiring minds want to know.
post #15 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny
Did a Chewer get her pregnant? Inquiring minds want to know.
If projecting were possible...
post #16 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny
Did a Chewer get her pregnant? Inquiring minds want to know.
That would be like some Nobel Prize or Mega Millions Lottery for internet nerds.
post #17 of 217
You know, since her body is never going to look the same again, she should really have some nude photos taken now, you know, just for comparison's sake.
post #18 of 217
Hey, maybe she'll get some real curves on her body out of all this?
post #19 of 217
Oh well, here's to all the other Jessicas out there. Who will all probably end up preggers sooner or later. Seriously though, how long has she been with that guy? They must fuck all the time.*

*It's understandable.

Edit: They have been dating for 3 years. If it were one of us, she would have been knocked up in DAYS.
post #20 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
You know, since her body is never going to look the same again, she should really have some nude photos taken now, you know, just for comparison's sake.
I saw Awake a few hours ago (there was nothing else to see). It was fairly ridiculous, but Jessica Alba in a wet t-shirt means I didn't completely hate it.

Oh, and "englebert" can go stand in line! It's way back... THERE!
post #21 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Thain
Edit: They have been dating for 3 years. If it were one of us, she would have been knocked up in DAYS.
That's only because I wear a dick-skin condom.
post #22 of 217
I guess it will happen eventually since they went out for 3 years, but I thought Jessica would wait a few more years for her career. Not sure what Jessica sees in Cash, but he must've done something in order for him to get the honor of knocking her up. My guess is hypoticism.
post #23 of 217
$50 this ends in tears.
post #24 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirby Drummond
Whatever to all that stuff. I'm more into: Is the rhythm method back in vogue? That stupid bitch from The Hills seems to be pregnant too.
You'll have to clarify. Which stupid bitch from the Hills?
post #25 of 217
post #26 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
You know, guys get a ton of shit when they say that they don't find pregnant women attractive. I'm all about some girl power, but pregnant women really creep me out. I don't know what it is, but seeing a preggers girl doesn't make me say "Aww!". Makes me say "Ugh!"
post #27 of 217
It makes me go, 'Ow, my back.'

Actually, doesn't look so bad. Granted the photos are kind of far away, but I'm sure that ass will bounce back almost immediately after she has her kid.
post #28 of 217
She looks great.
She's pregnant! Her tummy is rigid and not really big. She's keeping it contained.
post #29 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
You know, guys get a ton of shit when they say that they don't find pregnant women attractive. I'm all about some girl power, but pregnant women really creep me out. I don't know what it is, but seeing a preggers girl doesn't make me say "Aww!". Makes me say "Ugh!"
You and me both. And I guess for me, it comes from never wanting kids, so I don't get all "Awwww!" about seeing pregnant women. I only think to myself, "God, that looks so uncomfortable."
post #30 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
You and me both. And I guess for me, it comes from never wanting kids, so I don't get all "Awwww!" about seeing pregnant women. I only think to myself, "God, that looks so uncomfortable."
I don't want kids, either. I just find the whole thing to be fucking disgusting. I would be horrified if that...thing started kicking and clawing around inside of me. I would literally have a panic attack. I'm cringing right now just thinking about it! Ugh! There's nothing beautiful about becoming a human petrie dish as a fucking parasite festers inside of you. That shit is nasty.
post #31 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
I don't want kids, either. I just find the whole thing to be fucking disgusting. I would be horrified if that...thing started kicking and clawing around inside of me. I would literally have a panic attack. I'm cringing right now just thinking about it! Ugh! There's nothing beautiful about becoming a human petrie dish as a fucking parasite festers inside of you. That shit is nasty.
This is exactly my sister's point of view. Or I should say, was. Then, last February she found out she was pregnant. Best, most joyous thing that ever happened to her. I'm not saying that will be you. I'm just saying, things aren't always as they seem, I guess. But fuck, I never want kids either. And I love her son and my brother's three kids to bits.

Derailment: over.
post #32 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
I would be horrified if that...thing started kicking and clawing around inside of me.
"Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?"

(*Sniffle!*) I've found a fellow hater! C'mere, girl!
post #33 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
You know, guys get a ton of shit when they say that they don't find pregnant women attractive. I'm all about some girl power, but pregnant women really creep me out. I don't know what it is, but seeing a preggers girl doesn't make me say "Aww!". Makes me say "Ugh!"
Na-na na-na!
post #34 of 217
Remember, when you're pregnant, there's always the chance your kid is going to be that freaky Omen kid. But there is NEVER that chance if you don't get pregnant!
post #35 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
I don't want kids, either. I just find the whole thing to be fucking disgusting. I would be horrified if that...thing started kicking and clawing around inside of me. I would literally have a panic attack. I'm cringing right now just thinking about it! Ugh! There's nothing beautiful about becoming a human petrie dish as a fucking parasite festers inside of you. That shit is nasty.
This attitude is how Children of Men gets started.
post #36 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
This attitude is how Children of Men gets started.
Nah. There's plenty of women on this planet who, for reasons beyond me, get off on procreating. They can handle that shit. Me, I'll keep my figure and my sanity. Thanks.
post #37 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
I don't want kids, either. I just find the whole thing to be fucking disgusting. I would be horrified if that...thing started kicking and clawing around inside of me. I would literally have a panic attack. I'm cringing right now just thinking about it! Ugh! There's nothing beautiful about becoming a human petrie dish as a fucking parasite festers inside of you. That shit is nasty.
I think EXACTLY the same way. I'll pass on the fetus parasites.
post #38 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
This attitude is how Idiocracy gets started.
Fixed
post #39 of 217
Who says we're not already there.
post #40 of 217
Oh god, you may be right!
post #41 of 217
I know son, all we can do now is pray.
post #42 of 217
May god have mercy on us all.
post #43 of 217
Nah, were pretty much fucked. It's a cruel thing to bring a child into the world in this day and age, shits only gonna get worse and worse.

Taking care of baby is like taking care of a drunk. But a drunk baby is always funny.
post #44 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
"Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?"

(*Sniffle!*) I've found a fellow hater! C'mere, girl!
I may not be a chick, but the thought of kids disgust me. Maybe that's why I'm such a jerk!
post #45 of 217
Iv'e never cared for Jessica Alba or thought she could act. but her pregnant bikini pictures are the most beautiful ones ever of her. And yes I have never had children, but only because I couldn't. I am the 12th of 14 and am currently taking care of 3 babies at my daycare jobs. I love them even when they get shit and vomit over me. Altho I prefer they don't .
post #46 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Hicks
Here's what you do, if you're so pro-life, and pro-child, then adopt one that's already here,that's very unwanted and very alone, and needs someone to take care of it and get it out of a horrible situation. And people ask me, "Well, why don't you do that?" And I say, "Because I hate fuckin' kids, and couldn't care less."
...
post #47 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Cordo View Post
I may not be a chick, but the thought of kids disgust me. Maybe that's why I'm such a jerk!
No, that's why you're one of my people. We should form a club and call it "The He-Man Baby Haters Club".

And further, I don't see why this is something that makes you a jerk (although I get it, I've run into that same wall myself). Believe me, I've been rebelling against this notion since I was 15, that you're automatically a bad person if you don't want what 90% of the world wants. Well, really - too bad. The bulk of the world's population wants kids - I hardly think that the planet will turn into a vast, childless wasteland if I don't crank out a rug rat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Hicks
Here's what you do, if you're so pro-life, and pro-child, then adopt one that's already here,that's very unwanted and very alone, and needs someone to take care of it and get it out of a horrible situation. And people ask me, "Well, why don't you do that?" And I say, "Because I hate fuckin' kids, and couldn't care less."
... And this will hang on the wall of our clubhouse.
post #48 of 217
Can we not call them parasites? I don't like kids, and I agree that bringing one into the world in this day and age is malicious at least, downright cruel at worst, but a little decency? It's not a virus or a disease. It's something natural and, before the world went to hell in a handbasket, wonderful.
post #49 of 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Can we not call them parasites?
I never called them parasites. I called them "rug rats", which is a fairly common term from people like me - y'know, ones who don't like 'em.

And to further clarify, I don't actually "hate" them - that's a strong word. I just don't want them, nor do I want to be around them. But you can't do the Little Rascals joke and call it the "He Man Baby Dislikers Club."
post #50 of 217
Oh, I'm fine with rug rats. Heck, I used to watch the show.
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